Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Backpack strap cut with scissors

167 replies

IkeSmile · 26/04/2025 15:02

Hello everyone!
Back in December I needed your advice for actions against the school who covered bullying of a migrant child. Here we are again, with the same child and his backback strap being cut with a scissor. You can see in the picture that it's a clear cut.
Question?
React and complain in writing or ignore it?
I feel is the same child or a friend of his, acting like a thug? The only people wurh access to the cloakroom are teachers and the pupils.
Thank you!

Backpack strap cut with scissors
OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Canterranter · 29/04/2025 18:27

IkeSmile · 29/04/2025 16:30

The guvernors are my last option. I've done everything in the past, with no consequences for the bully.
Extremely disappointed by the parents laughing at my post and/or comments.
I'm on the other hand happy that others understand and share the details I needed to complete my "journey", and to hopefor a day in school when my son will be happy again.
Thank you! Have a great day. ♡

Well that's pretty daft, as the governors are there for a reason. If you follow the complaints procedure, and are not happy with the head's response, you'll get to meet with governors next.

Hoppinggreen · 29/04/2025 18:12

TheAmusedQuail · 29/04/2025 16:21

If SLT don't listen maybe scare tactics will help.

I doubt SLT are afraid of local press. I am a Governor and we have parents threatening to "Go to the papers" regularly if they don't get their own way. We just roll our eyes and do things the same((proper) way and nothing happens.
It usually does their cause more harm than good.

Nopenott0day · 29/04/2025 17:01

Tbh the only racist and anti immigrant rhetoric I'm hearing is from you OP. If your child is parroting this at school no wonder he is being "bullied".

stichguru · 29/04/2025 16:49

You need to follow the school's actual complaints procedure.

IncessantNameChanger · 29/04/2025 16:45

As someone from Irish decent in England I'd be very careful about what you say to the press. The passive jibes we have about our heritage and little implications of what that might be associated with do not go down well.

Mudflaps · 29/04/2025 16:43

HumanRightsAreHumanRights · 29/04/2025 09:22

You sound racist against Irish people.

If you are passing such a nasty attitude on to your child, it's no wonder they are not liked by anyone at school, because kids tend to echo what they hear at home.

She sounds incredibly racist towards the Irish and I seriously doubt that the high percentage of teachers/students are Irish as she stated. If she's speaking about the students and staff in that manner in front of her child she may be influencing the child to display her racist opinions at school which will not go down well. The strap could have ripped without any scissors or knife, I had a new bag with similar straps but I overloaded it and it failed in the same way. No matter what happened I don't envy the teachers dealing with this racist parent for the years going forward and hope for their sakes that she moves the child to a different school, mind you I can't figure out if she needs one that is more inclusive or less inclusive, maybe she wants to go back to the old days of 'NINA' No Irish need apply.

TheAmusedQuail · 29/04/2025 16:42

IkeSmile · 29/04/2025 16:30

The guvernors are my last option. I've done everything in the past, with no consequences for the bully.
Extremely disappointed by the parents laughing at my post and/or comments.
I'm on the other hand happy that others understand and share the details I needed to complete my "journey", and to hopefor a day in school when my son will be happy again.
Thank you! Have a great day. ♡

Some of us wish you well. School can be a hard time for children, particularly when they're different.

Growlybear83 · 29/04/2025 16:39

IkeSmile · 29/04/2025 16:30

The guvernors are my last option. I've done everything in the past, with no consequences for the bully.
Extremely disappointed by the parents laughing at my post and/or comments.
I'm on the other hand happy that others understand and share the details I needed to complete my "journey", and to hopefor a day in school when my son will be happy again.
Thank you! Have a great day. ♡

I feel I’m banging my head against a brick wall! Have you followed the school’s formal complaints procedure? If not, why not? You have been told numerous times on this thread that this is what you should do. It is the process that the DfE says complainants must follow. The governors should not be your last option - they are a part of the complaints process. You really will end up making yourself a laughing stock if you refuse to follow the correct complaints procedure and start trying to involve the press.

Moonnstars · 29/04/2025 16:31

IkeSmile · 29/04/2025 16:30

The guvernors are my last option. I've done everything in the past, with no consequences for the bully.
Extremely disappointed by the parents laughing at my post and/or comments.
I'm on the other hand happy that others understand and share the details I needed to complete my "journey", and to hopefor a day in school when my son will be happy again.
Thank you! Have a great day. ♡

The governors should come before going to local press. People are pointing out the process you should follow. You will make yourself look foolish going to the media and people are trying to help you understand what to do.

IkeSmile · 29/04/2025 16:30

Sharptonguedwoman · 29/04/2025 13:38

Request/insist on a meeting with the Head. Don't take no for an answer. Keep records of any correspondence. Ask to see the school's bullying policy and ask them what sanctions they are going to take.
Ask if bullying is being addressed (and how) in PSHE).
If you are not satisfied, write to the head of governors and say that you think bullying is not being addressed sufficiently.

The guvernors are my last option. I've done everything in the past, with no consequences for the bully.
Extremely disappointed by the parents laughing at my post and/or comments.
I'm on the other hand happy that others understand and share the details I needed to complete my "journey", and to hopefor a day in school when my son will be happy again.
Thank you! Have a great day. ♡

OP posts:
TheAmusedQuail · 29/04/2025 16:21

Hoppinggreen · 29/04/2025 13:16

And you think Local papers are the best way to tackle that?
They will go with whatever angle creates the most readers/clickbait and will have no interest in actually helping OP and her child.

If SLT don't listen maybe scare tactics will help.

CaptainMyCaptain · 29/04/2025 16:07

Hoppinggreen · 29/04/2025 12:15

Because you may end up looking very bad in the local press, alienating your community and destroying your relationship with the school for a start.
If you wanted the school to take action you have shot yourself in the foot I am afraid.
Going to the papers rarely achieves the desired result

I have to agree. The newspaper will make you look like the racist bully.

Locallassie · 29/04/2025 15:55

TheAmusedQuail · 29/04/2025 09:02

And? In my child's school, the white staff handle any allegations of racism VERY badly. They dismiss and deny. It's majority rule.

And what?

PiggyPigalle · 29/04/2025 15:04

TheAmusedQuail · 29/04/2025 12:27

I disagree. There is racism going on there and it isn't @IkeSmile perpetrating it. It's anti immigrant threats by the majority in the school.

As they are Irish, they are also immigrants.

PiggyPigalle · 29/04/2025 15:01

I find it hard to believe that 90% of the pupils are Irish? If so, maybe they're Irish Travellers, in which case they are also a minority group. That would make it doubly difficult for the school to sort your complaint of racism.
Are you a practicing Catholic, or did you as so many do, send your child there hoping for good discipline? Not all Catholic schools are good.

I removed my own daughter from a Catholic primary, the last straw was when she told me it was hard to concentrate, as some kids wandered around in class making trouble with no one stopping them. Only two other parents ever spoke to me which certainly wasn't racism.
She went to a different school and we'd found our tribe so to speak. All her school years were happy after that.

Hoppinggreen · 29/04/2025 14:49

TheAmusedQuail · 29/04/2025 14:21

Possibly. But schools ignoring a worry about racism and bullying towards a child that has migrated to the UK and is an ethnic minority in that school is a very bad thing.

It isn't a made-up thing. I've seen it happen.

I am sure it does, I just can't see how a Local news article will improve things

TheAmusedQuail · 29/04/2025 14:22

Sharptonguedwoman · 29/04/2025 13:38

Request/insist on a meeting with the Head. Don't take no for an answer. Keep records of any correspondence. Ask to see the school's bullying policy and ask them what sanctions they are going to take.
Ask if bullying is being addressed (and how) in PSHE).
If you are not satisfied, write to the head of governors and say that you think bullying is not being addressed sufficiently.

AND racism from other students not being taken seriously by SLT.

TheAmusedQuail · 29/04/2025 14:21

Hoppinggreen · 29/04/2025 13:16

And you think Local papers are the best way to tackle that?
They will go with whatever angle creates the most readers/clickbait and will have no interest in actually helping OP and her child.

Possibly. But schools ignoring a worry about racism and bullying towards a child that has migrated to the UK and is an ethnic minority in that school is a very bad thing.

It isn't a made-up thing. I've seen it happen.

Moonnstars · 29/04/2025 14:18

Going to the papers is not going to help your situation.
As everyone has already said you need to follow the school procedure.
You sound quite racist, which is something you are complaining about.
The school cannot punish a child without evidence. There is always the possibility your own child knows how strongly you feel about the school and this other child, and has done this to their own bag! This would not be unusual.
My daughter's class had a parent going on the group chat claiming rumours were being spread, her daughter was having nightmares and in tears over it, she said other children were also affected by the rumours. She got some other mums to go to the governors (completely unnecessary) to make a point and get to the bottom of it all. Turns out it was her own daughter spreading rumours. She went very quiet after that.

Going to the press will make your child stand out further, and you will come across as that parent. By doing this publicly this will be seen by other schools and if you did move your child they will all be very apprehensive to take on your child (staff not being alone with them in case of false accusations for example, supervising your child very closely at play times).

LeftFooter · 29/04/2025 13:47

SequoiaTree · 29/04/2025 12:31

OP. I'm sorry you feel your dc has been subject to racist bullying by dc. Please ignore those refusing to accept kids of their nationality could be racist and suggesting you must be racist to think that.
You'd be better off either moving your dc or going through the complaints procedure on the website than going to the paper.

Wow. You’re assuming that anyone objecting to OP’s anti-Irish statements has to be Irish themselves?! Quite the bias going on there!

(I haven’t a drop of Irish blood FYI.)

Sharptonguedwoman · 29/04/2025 13:38

IkeSmile · 29/04/2025 06:45

English isn't my 1st language and this is probably why.
My 7 years old came home on Friday with his backpack strap cut. We dosen't know who did it, the school doesn't know, but I want actions to be taken, because my child was bullied from the middle of year 2. He is now in year 3. Since December he started Muay Thai classes for self defense, because of the bullying.
The bully is Irish, like 90% of the school, including the school employees!!!
My son is one of the best in his year, with good reports, financially we're OK, he's always well dressed (clean) and well behaved. I always told him not to react to a bully, and just ignore it.
But this other child, recognised to others that he "HATE THIS CHILD AND THIS IS WHY I BULLY HIM" and the school did nothing!
I'm afraid now that this is the one who did it, as a revenge that my son is now in Muay Thai classes and doesn't feel afraid anymore, so cutting his backpack, when no one saw him, was the best option.
But with a headteacher who's Irish, the same teacher who when I went to report the bullying told me that I personally have something against a 7 years old...what can I expect?
In the picture you can see the clear knife/scissors cut.
This is the long story short!

Request/insist on a meeting with the Head. Don't take no for an answer. Keep records of any correspondence. Ask to see the school's bullying policy and ask them what sanctions they are going to take.
Ask if bullying is being addressed (and how) in PSHE).
If you are not satisfied, write to the head of governors and say that you think bullying is not being addressed sufficiently.

BownnTown · 29/04/2025 13:34

im presuming you are catholic too OP?

going to the press was a terrible idea. Once that hits the print your son is likely to experience even more bullying. And god help you if you have talked about Irish people to the reporter like you have here.

Growlybear83 · 29/04/2025 13:31

IkeSmile · 29/04/2025 12:22

The bullying reports made against this child are treated with ignorance. I only found out the headteacher is Irish, when another parent said to me that she isn't surprised about the lack of reaction from the school. She is the one who encouraged me in the first place to register my son for self defense classes, which I did.
My son was approached by a group of 5-6 older boys, with one of them being the older sibling of this aggressive child (all in year 6), and threatened. Again, the school did nothing.
Basically, all the Irish children have a gang, and make fun of the children with different nationality. Now tell me this is a made up story...it's a Catholic school in England.
So racism is an issue.
The bully recognised that he hates my son, just because.
So I'm not "that mum"!!!! I know what we're going through.

I'm aware it sounds somehow, but it really is the truth. I'm not the only concerned parent. But hey...we should accept it!

Good grief OP - are you not bothering to read the numerous posts that have told you that you must follow the correct procedure? Every school must (not should) have a Complaints Policy that is agreed by the Governing Body and must be published on their website. This sets out the different stages that complainants must follow if they wish to make a formal complaint and how the complaint must be reported. If the class teacher and Headteacher are unable to resolve your concerns to your satisfaction, then your complaint will be escalated to the governors - whether an individual governor is asked to investigate initially or your complaint goes straight to the Complaints Committee depends on your school’s Policy. You seem to be ignoring this and going straight to the local press just makes you appear to be one of ‘those parents’ that all schools dread. You may well have a very valid complaint but it must be investigated using the proper channels. I would also strongly suggest that you tone down your derogatory comments about the Irish community in the school - it shows you in a very bad light indeed

Sdpbody · 29/04/2025 13:26

OP, you sound very racist yourself.

Hoppinggreen · 29/04/2025 13:16

TheAmusedQuail · 29/04/2025 12:27

I disagree. There is racism going on there and it isn't @IkeSmile perpetrating it. It's anti immigrant threats by the majority in the school.

And you think Local papers are the best way to tackle that?
They will go with whatever angle creates the most readers/clickbait and will have no interest in actually helping OP and her child.