Boyfriend lied to me about getting banned from his gym

Oh fuck off it’s not an overreaction. What’s he making stupid comments to women he doesn’t know for? Just fucking leave people alone.

Honestly if my husband did this I’d b mortified to be married to the sort of man who thinks the world needs to hear his fucking opinion on everything. Just do your workout and stop commenting on anyone else.

FGs you sound like so much fun

Comment seems innocent enough (overreaction from the woman and gym).
Lying would annoy me, I would suspect there was more behind the ban, but your update says you saw the proof your bf not lying. I would let it go.

If someone said that to me I would laugh it off
The world has gone mad
People need to stop wanting to be offended by every mortal thing and grow up
Its Pathetic

It’s clear from your posts that he doesn’t understand why what he said would upset someone.
A) jokes are normally funny
B) would he have said that to a man?
C) It may well have been her first day in the gym, she might have been trying to increase her fitness for years and then finally took the plunge…. To then have what most women new to the gym fear, that someone is watching them or even worse making fun of them; which is what he did.
D) He was obviously staring at her arse and let her know that he was

Sorry to tell you but the gym did not overact and it’s commendable that they took the action that they did. If they did then email making light of it saying she’s a pain in the arse then the place sounds like a total shit show anyway.

Step by step we can teach the men between leery comments versus ‘banter’ 🙄 and this is a great step in my opinion.

I'm not sure how the voting is but yanbu to be annoyed by the comment or the lying. I don't think the gym overreacted. Women have the right to go to the gym without men ogling and commenting on them. Should have kept his mouth shut and concentrated on his own workout.

@ScarlettRunner He’s flirting with other women in the gym. He was commenting on the size of a woman’s arse while she does her exercise, indicating he’s watching her arse while she exercises. It’s not ok.
None of us would like that. He is playing it down.

Often when such a thing happens, people get a first warning from the management. The gym might have a zero policy for this, which is fair. So I do wonder whether this is a first offence.

That is some low bar you have there

its the sort of joke I’d make to a good friend, it’s strange he’s had to leave the gym as it seems an over reaction. He should have been honest with you from the start, this would be the issue for me

An unsolicited comment of a personal nature like that from a man would have made the woman very uncomfortable. He sounds like a creep (only you will know if it was a one off creepy incident or normal for him).

Getting back up from the other "lads" at the gym suggesting that the women was in the wrong for not tolerating creepy behaviour like that when she is just there to work out, doesn't mean he was hard done by.

the woman who complained is a known pain in the arse and she wouldn’t have let it go if he wasn’t banned.

This reads to me that this poor woman has been repeatedly harassed at the gym and made several complaints already - maybe against your BF and/or others.

So a pain in the arse is someone who dares to complain to the establishment she pays hard earned cash to who expect her to be exposed to and tolerate sexual harassment.

The litmus test of these things is always "would he have said it in front of her beefy boyfriend?"

Yes - misjudged comment and a mistake that could happen to anyone
No - pervert.

If he truly thought it was ok and he was a victim, I'd fave thought he'd have told you about it. Instead of lying.

He's either a fuck-wit, or he's trying to come on to other women (clumsily).

There is no reason for him to be making comments like that to random women.

Your bf shouldn't make comments to women he doesn't know. I wouldn't mind a friend joking like this but I would if it was a random man. I would tell him myself though and not go complain to the gym unless the guy had form for this.

Yep, he's probably a lecherous sexist arsehole too.

I’m quite happy to hear the gym took this action. Maybe in your BF mind this was a harmless comment but it really isn’t acceptable. I hope this has shown him that commenting on women’s bodies is unwelcome / abusive. Imagine if another women said to your BF in a gym whislt he was squatting the same thing.

No, its not appropriate to comment to any random member such personal comments even if you imagine it is a joke. As a previous gym member I'd never dream of making a personal comment to anyone. I wonder if this is the first time there has been a complaint to be honest. Perhaps not . Hopefully he has learned his lesson and can now do his routines and keep this comments to himself.

Rape Crisis England & Wales defines sexual harassment as "unwanted sexual behavior that makes someone feel upset, scared, offended or humiliated".

Leering is considered an example of sexual harassment because it can be perceived as a sexual advance or suggestive look that is unwanted.

Your BF went further than oogling her backside - he decided to sexually harass her even further with his words.

Its important that society has a zero-tolerance policy of sexual harassment with a set of rules that strictly enforces consequences for any infraction, no matter how minor.

I find the minimising of it most distrurbing by you, your BF, your friend and the gym.

I would expect your BF to be accountable, make amends and learn from this.

Did he apologise to the lady. Has he expressed remorse even if he said he didnt realise it was offensive and sexual harassment - or is he doubling down that he was OK to say this. Where does he think he would have crossed the line? The third step of his sexual harrasment process after he had leered at her, then commented was to touch her.....do you think all women should have to endure this before consequences?

Thank goodness we can now go to managment anywhere to sort directly as it would be horrific if this poor women had to deal with your ignorant, denying, sex pest of a BF directly.

The sooner men learn to stop commenting on the bodies of women, who are just trying to exist in public spaces, the better.
It doesn't matter if he was making a sexual comment, fat shaming her, speaking out of concern for the quality of the fabric she was wearing. It doesn't matter that he thought it was a joke. There was no need for him to comment to a woman he doesn't know about her bum. Ever.

Who the fuck does he think he is making a comment like that to a stranger?! It’s not the lying, but he’s clearly a total bell end anyway.

When are men going to get it through their heads to stop making unasked for comments to women they don’t even know. If you have a mixed friendship group and you understand each other’s humour then you know where you can and can’t go, but don’t make comments to women you don’t know from Adam, who are minding their own business.

If you are planning to keep this boyfriend long term, you might need to give him some lessons in how to talk to women, or how to keep his mouth shut.

Why was it over the top?

Imagine if the recipient was the sort of person to grind an axe on social media etc.

It's idiotic.