Wanting a lie-in

I think it's your DC that are the issue - they're more than old enough to be left downstairs to watch TV while both parents are occupied elsewhere.

Bad behaviour from the kids, they have no reason to be waking you up at 8am when they've already had breakfast.

Tell them much more firmly that they need to stay downstairs and watch a movie until dad gets back from the gym.
They only need to wake you if someone is hurt.

At their age they are perfectly capable of doing that.

When you have babies/toddlers then swapping lie ins and having one parent with designated responsibility is necessary.
The joy of older children is you don't have to do that. They are old enough that BOTH parents can have a slow start at the weekends or go to the gym. Don't pit yourself against your husband. Present a united front with your parenting expectations.

What happens on Sundays? Can you each get one weekend day to yourself and you can use it to have a lie-in, go to the gym, or whatever? I don't think it's a great idea for most marriages to keep score of every little thing you each do and decide who "deserves" what, especially when it comes to earnings. We all know that a person's salary often has no relation to how hard s/he works or how much s/he contributes. Often the people with the cushiest jobs get paid the most. I'm not saying that's your situation but the point is it doesn't matter. Every working parent is tired at the end of the week and craves time to themselves.

If your schedule isn't working for your family then you and DH need to talk about solutions that work for everyone. Does your salary allow for some paid childcare or household help during the week? Can you cut some household expenses or can he get a higher-paying job so you can cut back on working hours? Can you negotiate a different schedule or look for a job that requires less time away from home? I don't know your specific situation but try to think of creative solutions that keep you and DH on the same side rather than pitted against each other.

All or that being said, it doesn't sound reasonable that you do every single thing while you are both home. It's never going to be exactly "equal" but in general I think when one parent is home with the children she/he does everything for the kids/house, and when both parents are home they split the duties 50/50. That doesn't mean you should nitpick and count the minutes to compare your contributions but if you are on your feet from 6-10 pm doing meals, dishes, baths, bedtime, sorting out backpacks and homework and everything else while your DH is on the couch playing video games the whole time, that is clearly unfair. It doesn't matter what he does when you're not there.

If you can't come to a mutually satisfactory arrangement you might try a few sessions with a couples therapist. You and DH need to find a way that you can both trust that you have the shared goal of making both of your lives easier. When you are both exhausted and ground down with all of the drudgery it can be hard to get on the same page without some outside guidance.

And finally-- children the age of yours can be taught to quietly wake up, turn on the TV and pour a bowl of cereal while you get a bit more sleep. Our rule was that if the kids don't wake us up they can quietly go downstairs at 8 am and have screen time and make themselves a toaster waffle with Nutella. That made it worth it for them to leave us alone until 9 am. You and your DH need to work together to find what works for your crew but in the meantime each of you deserves one weekend morning where you are not bothered by the children. Hopefully in time you can both have more than that.

I think he's not deliberately being an arse because he genuinely thinks he can tell the children to leave you sleeping and they will. He also probably doesn't think a lie-in is as important as you do because he's not as exhausted. So he's often up on a Sunday morning, although you're on childcare duty. But he is being an arse because he's not putting himself in your place. He has agreed that you get undisturbed sleep on a Saturday morning and it's his responsibility to make that happen. You may have to disrupt his Sunday mornings to help him understand.

I think the only people being unreasonable are the kids.
Have you actually told the kids not to wake you up? It’s all very well him saying do t wake mummy up but if they come in and talk to you and you just get up they’re going to assume you don’t mind. You together need to be strict and make sure they let you lie in.
I thinks it’s fair he gets to go to the gym and you get a lie in Saturday morning if that’s what you both want.

Just read he has a home gym too. That means he is being deliberately obtuse in refusing to enable a lie in for you. He can do the gym anytime on Saturday.
On the plus side, you must have a fit buff husband with all this gym work. Is that the real reason you want to spend more time in bed.😂

Your husband should do better but a 7 and a 9 yo should be able to leave you alone.

If he wants to go to the gym he should forgo his Sunday lie in and go then. Do the pottering on Saturday when he's needed.

Sorry I think it’s completely ridiculous that your DH gets the kids up, ready and feeds them breakfast but at 7 & 9 they STILL jump all over you the second he’s left! Despite him seeing to all their needs before he goes to the gym!

I can tell my 3 year old that he has to entertain himself for a bit while I do something! & he’s on his own. Your kids have each other to play with!

I wouldn’t be tying myself in knots trying to reorganise the routine. I’d be getting the kids told to leave you in peace for a bloody hour for goodness sakes!

It doesn't make him 'the women in the home'
What ridiculous thing to say. It makes him what he is. A Dad to 2 children and a husband who works from home and earns a lower income.
I don't think it's unreasonable at all to facilitate a lie in for a partner that works those hours during the week. Why wouldn't you.

Ask him to go to the gym at 9. Sorted. It's all about partnership and helping each other. What you both earn is pretty irrelevant in this though.

This - he is at it.
Of course tbey are going to come and wake you up. He is being a selfish knob

If he ruins your lie in, you ruin his lie in. Simples

should be one day each to the same time (9am?)

@GlowyJelly you've got every right to be crabby! You’re right, he could do a home workout or he could go later if he wants to use the big equipment. There’s simple solutions that he’s refusing to take to give you a break! I think you should sack off the pancakes and go out for the next few Sunday mornings and let him deal with the chaos

He had a dinner hour like everyone one else think it a bit unfair to throw that at him if he chooses to go to the gym in it it’s down to him
as for no commute he’s doing together school run

YANBU at all, I’m not surprised you need a lie in! He goes to the gym at lunch time during the week, but doesn’t want to go an hour or two later on a Saturday? Either he goes later or just doesn’t go on Saturday, as he’s going during the week as well.

I cant remember the last time i got out of bed at 5-6 or 7 am this morning i rolled out at 9:45am.