Private school fomo

Not all private schools are worth it. You should look into the schools and see which best suits your child. I went to state primary and private secondary and it was a good balance.

Though this was in the early 90s and competition for secondary places was lower such that I got offers from 5 schools. My DD is at private primary - something my DH wanted more than I did as I would have preferred the mixed approach I had. What persuaded me was that the school is an all through school and means she won’t have to do the stressful 11plus exams and there is no risk of losing out and going up one of the really rubbish secondaries near us.

I’m very happy with the school and we can just about afford it, but I definitely do worry about her not mixing with everyone sometimes, and growing up in a bubble of privilege. We try to ensure she understands that she is very lucky.

I guess what I am saying is you have to weigh up lots of factors, visit all the schools and decide what’s best for your child/children.

ETA: I see the expenditure as an investment in my DD’s education and life. Nothing is more important than that for me.

Have you visited any schools? If not, go visit them and see if they are worth it to you. Academics are part of it, but so are extracurricular activities. Generally it is easier to move from state to private, so you could start in state schools and move later if you wanted.

Out kids are at state school and we supplement with clubs/music lessons and spend time supporting their academics at home. This works well for us. For some people, the advantage of private school is more being offered on site, needing less feeying around to clubs etc.

Your income allows you to make choices without much sacrifice. Whilst that makes the choice harder in some ways, it does give you lots of choices others don't have. To me, 10% is a relatively small proportion of income to spend, although I appreciate it is still a lot of money.

Strange attitude to say that you value eduction but it would be ‘half a million not invested’- if you value education it is the best investment. It is not simply a case of academic results but the childhood experience and even people who are not ‘academic’ can still be curious and love learning. And there is a lot more learning in indie schools (I have taught in many of both). The money spent on my children’s education was easily the best ROI of any investment I’ve made. You only have one childhood, make it as fun and enriching as possible.

10% for a 3 yo will multiply rapidly as they progress through a school. You don’t have to commit long term.

' but it will mean half a million not invested '

do you not see it as your child being ' invested ' in

No private school education will benefit your child as much as a half a million deposit for their first home will.

Sounds like you can easily afford it so if you want it, just pay for it!

For heaven’s sake, OP, as a fellow non-Brit who had a child who went to primary in the UK, don’t take on the frankly mad cultural anxiety about schools that is so pervasive.

Not all private schools are that great, just FYI.

Its as simple as Private or State being better, its looking at individual schools. You are in the fortunate position of having the choice. So look at the schools and chose the best one for your child.

However if you are wary of it being a privileged bubble... looking at the social economy background of your closest state school. If you are raising them in an an expensive neighbourhood, its likely the school won't be that mixed and still part of that bubble.