Private school fomo

Private hands down.

Educating two DC is bang-on 10% of our monthly take home pay (£2,965) also between me and OH.

Buts that tuition only. Factor in uniforms, long school holidays, paid after school clubs, tutoring etc.

Factor in additional children - do you want more?

Factor in secondary education/boarding school. Fees rise big time.

Try a state primary school first. As you say, once you start with private there’s no going back.

If on the journey you lose confidence in the primary school, or perhaps the secondary options don’t look great when the time comes, switch to independent schooling at that point.

Don't want that privilege bubble.......but want all the advantages that come with that privilege.
Just own it

If private school parents are honest, they will admit their child would not have got the grades they did at the local comp/secondary modern.
It’s up to you how important grades are for your child’s future.

Your "investment" is in your child. Are they bright, confident, outgoing?
In that case they will probably do well anywhere.
Would they benefit from being in an environment that mirrors your values and aspirations?
In that case private (or as it used to be called, fee-paying) could benefit them more.

‘Fees would be 10% of our net take home pay and mortgage paid off already’

Your wealth means you have lots of great choices about schools.

It all depends on where you live

where we live we have excellent state schools and private

plenty of wealthy people send their DC to state schools here with the option of private if they don’t get the place they’re after

if I lived in a different area I’d consider private for sure if the state schools were dire

unless it’s a selective private school for secondary then don’t be under any illusion that that your DC will fare better academically but a non academic pupil will scrape a 4 though for GCSE that would fail in a state school

Housing cost is pricing people out of having children in London so there are fewer children and both private and state schools are closing so instability in both sectors.

Private schools can have very small infant class sizes and parental cliques which can make it difficult for a child to make friends - particularly if there is a gender imbalance.

State schools intake is likely to be more local which makes playdates easier and you can find helpful things about the local area.

As pp have already said: It's not about private versus state. It's about the right school for your child.
Your child is very young. At this stage it's hard to know what their needs are going to be as they progress through school.
I don't know about London, but in Scotland (where I am) private schools are not required to provide additional support for learning for kids with special needs.
I've seen a few people come a cropper with this- when turns out a few years down the line that their kids have some condition that wasn't obvious at reception.
Not saying it will happen to you, but something to be aware of.
IME middle class people can work each other up, competing for the same few schools they've heard about from each other. It's easy to get sucked in but try not to be.
Visit all the schools with an open mind and think about where your child will be happiest.

Agreed. Only a small percentage of UK children are in private schools. Most of the rest manage just fine.

If you can genuinely easily afford it then I would. And they are not "bubbles of privilege with no empathy" any more so than state schools are hotbeds of violence and low achievement. Different schools suit different kids. Not all privates are fiercely academic and don't have to be pressured, not all state schools will be great for an academically bright child. If you have the means to cast your net wide, do so, visit lots, make your own judgement.

Wait and see. London has some great schools and as you say you have no idea if your child will be academic. Go and look at state schools, do some research on your local options. Private is not always better.
FWIW ds went state all through although we did flirt with the idea of private school for secondary as it was clear he was very academic. He didn't like it, we chose state and he ended up with 4 X A* at A level and a place at Oxbridge. He was also very happy at school. We invested the private school fees in an ISA for him and so he now has a nice deposit for a flat (which he probably won't need as he's earning very well!)

I think you need to take your time and find a school you like for your child instead of fixating on state vs private. If you are that wealthy your child is likely to be in a bit of a bubble regardless. We chose state primary for our two and it gave them great friends, education and grounding with a real mix of children. But we chose private for secondary because of the quality of the state secondaries and where we thought our children would be happiest and do best.

‘bubble of privilege with limited empathy for different backgrounds’. Sorry but this is a ridiculous statement as this is your responsibility to ensure your child develops empathy and understands individual circumstances etc. If this is how you think I think you have bigger issues than state or primary.

I think your attitude suggests that you should
opt for private.

not the point if your thread but how did you get so rich ? And I’ve always wanted to ask rich people this question so please indulge me ….do you feel grateful and lucky a lot or do you hang out with a lot of other rich people so don’t think it’s a big deal ? I’m so curious and can’t ask people in real life

You could do state until 8 then private after? Before Y3 I don’t think there’s a huge advantage to private school. Or you could do prep then choose between grammar or carrying on with private later? My kids are currently in state schools and have just done taster days at a couple of prep schools…the difference is huge. The prep schools are truly lovely, so much going on. But yeah the cost is huge over the years. Do look into the senior school fees, and extrapolate given the yearly fee increases.

I would look at both because state school now doesn’t mean you are committed long term in fact state ‘til 8 is commonly used as an expression and many more switch at 11

It sounds like you have a mortgage paid off, large earnings and disposable income. Presuming you're not retiring or scaling back soon, you can likely afford to pay for private school and arrange a nice nest egg to launch your child/children when the time comes.
Sounds like a no brainer.

Unless you live in a very mixed area, your State school is unlikely to be truly diverse, so again, you may as well send them private.

Given the OPs income, it is probably not 'either/or'.

A child knowing there is a half a million invested for their first home is a child who will never bother doing anything.

This is true but if the fees are just 10% of their net income and they don’t have a mortgage then they can probably spare a few quid for a deposit too!