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AIBU?

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Original poster

Date last night - he’s only just left!!

230 replies

Tiredsaturday · 26/04/2025 09:26

I don’t know why I’m writing this really except that I’m wired and don’t know what else to do having texted a couple of my friends!

Had a date last night. Lovely man who I’d been chatting to for a few weeks by text and phone. Had a coffee with him earlier in the week. This was ‘out out’.

He’s only just left!!! Hehe! What a night! I am happy, excited, very tired indeed (!) and ever so slightly not really but a bit comically ashamed.

Dunno what the AIBU is apart from maybe ‘AIBU to suggest to the kids later that we all go to bed at 6?’

OP posts:
FiremanDan · 27/04/2025 07:35

Was there a reason that he left quite early in the morning, did he have somewhere that he needed to be? To be honest, I’d take it as a pretty bad sign if I had a guy stay the night and he wanted to leave first thing the next day, unless there was actually a good reason for it (or you had to be somewhere at that time)

StarlightLady · 27/04/2025 07:30

Viviennemary · 27/04/2025 01:29

I thoroughly disapprove of having sex with a virtual stranger. It really isn't anything to be proud of.

Approval was not asked for. The OP was simply sharing some happy news.

And yes, there are times when it is something to be very proud of! It’s called passion and chemistry.

Jacarandill · 27/04/2025 07:29

greeenscreeen · 26/04/2025 22:04

You do realise that every new person is a "stranger" at first? They stop being strangers when your relationship develops with them. In what way would you suvgest @Tiredsaturday turns this man from a stranger to a friend(/fuck buddy/boyfriend) if she's not supposed be alone with him?

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OP should have a chaperone, preferably police, for all encounters alone with a male.

She should have her car keys between her fingers at all times.

He should also undergo psychometric testing before the first date, and should be vetted for previous convictions, DBS checked and interviewed .

She should also have a rape alarm in her knickers and ask for certificates proving he’s been recently tested for STDs.

LlynTegid · 27/04/2025 07:28

Those who urge caution to expect more and observe that things do not always go well are being reasonable.

It should be in Chat, I think btw.

ByWittyLimePoet · 27/04/2025 07:26

ExtraOnions · 26/04/2025 21:05

Look at some statistics around Sexual Crimes against women, and then say it’s “boring”.

I’m delighted that the OP had a consensual fuck with some guy that she’s met twice, clearly means a lot to her … however, inviting a stranger to your house, and getting naked with them, can end very badly - and good luck getting it prosecuted, if something bad did happen.

Sorry not to join in with the giggles but 1 in 30 women in the UK are raped or sexually assaulted, and whilst this one ended ok, we really can never let our guard down.

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Well, here's another 'fun' fact..some men, no matter whether they come to your house on the first or tenth date do not, in fact, end up raping you. That is because they are NOT rapists.

I know, wild, isn't it?!

The OP is safe. She doesn't need to hear your post coital bollocking.

SHE IS SAFE. BECAUSE SHE MET A MAN WHO IS NOT A RAPIST!

SuperTrooper14 · 27/04/2025 07:14

BlondiePortz · 27/04/2025 01:05

Agreed but only if the op doesn't turn into an emotional wreck if there is no further contact especially if she is in care of children

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Oh come on, does OP seriously sound like the type to become an emotional wreck? You’re just projecting your own insecurities.

Honestly, it’s so refreshing to read about someone just having a great night with a date and NOT being angsty about it.

StarlightLady · 27/04/2025 06:29

💥Lovely OP! When that spark is there sometimes you have to scratch that itch, 100% passion driven.

My own sister met her now husband at a friend’s wedding. They were both checking in at an hotel at the same time and she bedded him before their friend’s wedding service, within hours of meeting. She’s been married for years and jokes he was easy!

Those who wait miss the impulse!

Ariel896 · 27/04/2025 06:06

Bloody hell! So many miserable Maureens on this thread.
this may be a shock to you but some women actually enjoy sex and and blow jobs!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Changeissmall · 27/04/2025 04:54

Love this. This site needs some balance and a reminder that men and women can be excellent for each other.

OP sounds quite capable of coping with whatever comes next.

Brought back memories of a wonderful night I had. I still think of him whenever I hear ‘Oh what a night’. That one was a gem. Had a lot of fun for a couple of years and still friends now.

femfemlicious · 27/04/2025 04:49

BlondiePortz · 27/04/2025 04:46

I thought she did

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Nope, definitely didn't

BlondiePortz · 27/04/2025 04:46

femfemlicious · 27/04/2025 04:43

Ah just checked and they weren't, I think you should have said that in your OP

I thought she did

femfemlicious · 27/04/2025 04:43

Ah just checked and they weren't, I think you should have said that in your OP

femfemlicious · 27/04/2025 04:40

We're yourkids in the house with this man you have only just met?

Weepixie · 27/04/2025 04:20

sissygirl23 · 26/04/2025 22:49

If you truly cared only about the safety of the op you wouldn’t be using your disapproving language and tone - ‘a consensual fuck with a man she’s met twice, clearly meant a lot to her.’

Youve given your judgey ness away with that I’m afraid. And yes most grown women are aware of the dangers and also intelligent enough to calculate risk.

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Yep. That particular phrase from Onions really did give her game away.

DreamTheMoors · 27/04/2025 03:44

Viviennemary · 27/04/2025 01:29

I thoroughly disapprove of having sex with a virtual stranger. It really isn't anything to be proud of.

Oh that’s right - you’re free now that the Pope’s funeral is over but the Conclave hasn’t begun.
There’s some free time for you to be judgmental of others.
Judge away sweetie and ignore the Bible. It’s what ALL good Christians do.

DreamTheMoors · 27/04/2025 03:39

You slut!

I’m sooo envious.

MerryForever · 27/04/2025 02:55

I’m 7 months into a new relationship which started v similarly - we met at a work conference, messaged for a weekend, met up the following week and spent the night together. We’re having a wonderful time together.

I’m estimating your kids are not super young as you described yourself as over two decades older than the age of consent? My dd is 20 and met my dp several months ago. They get on great.

Good luck!

tygertygers · 27/04/2025 02:04

Viviennemary · 27/04/2025 01:29

I thoroughly disapprove of having sex with a virtual stranger. It really isn't anything to be proud of.

No one is asking you to have sex with a virtual stranger, and I'm sure the OP doesn't need your approval.

Saying that though - I approve of your good time OP! Crossing my fingers for a repeat for you.

Viviennemary · 27/04/2025 01:29

I thoroughly disapprove of having sex with a virtual stranger. It really isn't anything to be proud of.

samarrange · 27/04/2025 01:26

ItGhoul · 27/04/2025 00:38

All right, Patsy Puritan, calm down.

If she sees him again - great. If she doesn’t, she had a night of amazing sex - also great. There’s nothing to regret.

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This is Mumsnet, where no good news goes unpunished.

BlondiePortz · 27/04/2025 01:05

ItGhoul · 27/04/2025 00:38

All right, Patsy Puritan, calm down.

If she sees him again - great. If she doesn’t, she had a night of amazing sex - also great. There’s nothing to regret.

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Agreed but only if the op doesn't turn into an emotional wreck if there is no further contact especially if she is in care of children

ItGhoul · 27/04/2025 00:38

Pyjamatimenow · 27/04/2025 00:20

I think you should probably be prepared that there likely won’t be any further dates. Not of the romantic kind anyway. Sounds like just sex. You’ve built up a false sense of intimacy by all the talking and texting before the date.

All right, Patsy Puritan, calm down.

If she sees him again - great. If she doesn’t, she had a night of amazing sex - also great. There’s nothing to regret.

Costacookie · 27/04/2025 00:36

This thread is so refreshing to hear about a good date and good sex for a change! It's bringing back memories of my youth, I've not had a night like that in a while 😂. I hope it works out OP, even if it is just a bit of fun. Enjoy!

Pyjamatimenow · 27/04/2025 00:20

I think you should probably be prepared that there likely won’t be any further dates. Not of the romantic kind anyway. Sounds like just sex. You’ve built up a false sense of intimacy by all the talking and texting before the date.

Redruby2020 · 27/04/2025 00:10

VivIsBlonde · 26/04/2025 20:06

So you basically invited a stranger back to your house for the night!!
Not a great move!

I didn’t want to lower the mood or excitement, but this thought came to mind quite soon in to reading the post.
Not something i would do despite a date etc, as at that point it was a night of sex. That man then knows where you live, and more importantly it’s yours kids home too.