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How much board money should I charge

59 replies

Cherryblossoms54 · 26/04/2025 09:25

I split up from my husband we have 3 kids (28, 20 and 18). I’ve just got a new job which is a decent wage and after bills I will now be left with £1300 which I know is a good amount but this doesn’t include food, petrol, savings, pension contributions, MOT contributions, or road tax.

all the kids live at home. oldest is in a minimum wage job which is good as he has autism, the 20 year old was at uni and working, but has given up uni as he hated it, so is trying to pick up extra hours at work where he can whilst trying to figure out what he wants to do next. He earns £12 a hour in his job which is a great wage for his age, but he ideally wants to go back to uni. Youngest is about to leave school and start college. Ex husband pays nothing towards the youngest two’s education, I’m having to do that myself.

i don’t know how much board I should charge the oldest two now I’m working with a decent wage. Given it’s all adults, the food bill can be expensive. None of them drive so I’m also a taxi. middle child is the only one who has passed his test so is trying to save for a car. He is really good at saving.

Oldest saves nothing, spends all his money on gaming, takeaways, junk food.

the 2 oldest were originally paying £400 a month because they knew I was struggling, they are really great kids, and my middle child said he still wanted to continue paying this when he gave up uni.

ive been in this new job for a couple of months now and I feel guilty taking this money off the kids especially my middle child as some months he might only have £800 if he doesn’t pick up any overtime.

can I ask advice as to what you all think would be a good amount to charge them for board?

OP posts:
Cherryblossoms54 · 26/04/2025 09:50

Moveoverdarlin · 26/04/2025 09:47

I’d carry on taking the same amount off both. When it comes to middle one wanting to buy a car I’d give him a couple of grand towards it, taken from the rent he has paid. You can do the same with the eldest when it comes to him moving out / driving.

I’ve said to him I would pay half of his insurance when he gets a car which will be a fair amount. He says he has almost £5000 save for his car, he is a great saver.

my oldest is never going to be able to drive. He wouldn’t be able to pass the theory part. I would certainly help him with moving into his own place. I think he is too comfortable just now though.

OP posts:
Moveoverdarlin · 26/04/2025 09:47

I’d carry on taking the same amount off both. When it comes to middle one wanting to buy a car I’d give him a couple of grand towards it, taken from the rent he has paid. You can do the same with the eldest when it comes to him moving out / driving.

Misspotterer · 26/04/2025 09:47

*wouldn't!

Misspotterer · 26/04/2025 09:46

400 is fine. That would even cover a room where I am, never mind food and bills. They'll never get to live so cheap again. £1300 is not a lot nowadays, I know, I'm a lone parent of teens. The food bills are astronomical.
I'd be helping your eldest make plans for independence though and that starts with saving, not wasting all his money. If you think you don't need the 400, take it and save it for him.

Cherryblossoms54 · 26/04/2025 09:41

Thanks this is all something to think of, DefyingGravidy it’s 4 adults although my oldest can at times eat like 2 adults himself lol.

OP posts:
DefyingGravidy · 26/04/2025 09:39

He might only get £800 a month sometimes, but after food for 5 adults and car costs how much are you left with? Not £800 I’d guess.

You could do it as a % of income each month to be fair to them all, and to account for the wage variances?

ToKittyornottoKitty · 26/04/2025 09:35

For the eldest carry on taking the same but save half for them if they can’t do it themselves (but obviously discuss this with them) and the middle child id have it to £200 to give them chance to save themselves

Augustus40 · 26/04/2025 09:34

Maybe just charge them for food if you are comfortably off. Ds who is 20 costs me c £55 weekly grub.

They should get used to budgeting. You are still helping them and it does them good.

toomuchfaff · 26/04/2025 09:31

If the older 2 can afford the amount they were paying, what is your apprehension with continuing that amount of £400? Maybe flex with the middle so its a lower amount if no OT?

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