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Original poster

How much board money should I charge

59 replies

Cherryblossoms54 · 26/04/2025 09:25

I split up from my husband we have 3 kids (28, 20 and 18). I’ve just got a new job which is a decent wage and after bills I will now be left with £1300 which I know is a good amount but this doesn’t include food, petrol, savings, pension contributions, MOT contributions, or road tax.

all the kids live at home. oldest is in a minimum wage job which is good as he has autism, the 20 year old was at uni and working, but has given up uni as he hated it, so is trying to pick up extra hours at work where he can whilst trying to figure out what he wants to do next. He earns £12 a hour in his job which is a great wage for his age, but he ideally wants to go back to uni. Youngest is about to leave school and start college. Ex husband pays nothing towards the youngest two’s education, I’m having to do that myself.

i don’t know how much board I should charge the oldest two now I’m working with a decent wage. Given it’s all adults, the food bill can be expensive. None of them drive so I’m also a taxi. middle child is the only one who has passed his test so is trying to save for a car. He is really good at saving.

Oldest saves nothing, spends all his money on gaming, takeaways, junk food.

the 2 oldest were originally paying £400 a month because they knew I was struggling, they are really great kids, and my middle child said he still wanted to continue paying this when he gave up uni.

ive been in this new job for a couple of months now and I feel guilty taking this money off the kids especially my middle child as some months he might only have £800 if he doesn’t pick up any overtime.

can I ask advice as to what you all think would be a good amount to charge them for board?

OP posts:
StScholastica · 26/04/2025 12:52

I think that is fair.

Caspianberg · 26/04/2025 12:46

Keep taking the £400

Average food bill is min £50 a week for an adult. So they are probably easily eating £200 a month each worth. And the other £200 is towards everything else bills, maintenance of house etc.

If you find you don’t need it all. Pop £100 some months into a separate savings account to go towards helping them when they need it for car, uni, fuel, whatever

Original poster
Cherryblossoms54 · 26/04/2025 12:34

Thank you. Can I also say I don’t think I was clear in my OP. the £1300 is after all the bills have been paid and after the 2 oldest have paid their board money.

OP posts:
Solmum1964 · 26/04/2025 12:31

Emonade · 26/04/2025 12:09

£400 is mad! Just get them to pay for food and petrol, anything else is too much

Show quote history

Not everyone can afford to subsidise DC. If OP is struggling to pay for necessities such as dental work, glasses and running the car then if course she needs to charge for more than just food!
I do very few miles so when DC lived at home and wanted lifts/use of my car we recorded who did what miles with lifts counting as their use. When I filled up they paid me an amount proportionate to their use.

Emonade · 26/04/2025 12:09

Cherryblossoms54 · 26/04/2025 09:25

I split up from my husband we have 3 kids (28, 20 and 18). I’ve just got a new job which is a decent wage and after bills I will now be left with £1300 which I know is a good amount but this doesn’t include food, petrol, savings, pension contributions, MOT contributions, or road tax.

all the kids live at home. oldest is in a minimum wage job which is good as he has autism, the 20 year old was at uni and working, but has given up uni as he hated it, so is trying to pick up extra hours at work where he can whilst trying to figure out what he wants to do next. He earns £12 a hour in his job which is a great wage for his age, but he ideally wants to go back to uni. Youngest is about to leave school and start college. Ex husband pays nothing towards the youngest two’s education, I’m having to do that myself.

i don’t know how much board I should charge the oldest two now I’m working with a decent wage. Given it’s all adults, the food bill can be expensive. None of them drive so I’m also a taxi. middle child is the only one who has passed his test so is trying to save for a car. He is really good at saving.

Oldest saves nothing, spends all his money on gaming, takeaways, junk food.

the 2 oldest were originally paying £400 a month because they knew I was struggling, they are really great kids, and my middle child said he still wanted to continue paying this when he gave up uni.

ive been in this new job for a couple of months now and I feel guilty taking this money off the kids especially my middle child as some months he might only have £800 if he doesn’t pick up any overtime.

can I ask advice as to what you all think would be a good amount to charge them for board?

£400 is mad! Just get them to pay for food and petrol, anything else is too much

SoSoLong · 26/04/2025 12:08

Keep taking £400, put some aside for them to help with moving out when the time comes. It seems like you've got hard working kids who want to be helpful, congratulations!

NewsdeskJC · 26/04/2025 11:59

Carry on with the £400. It's likely a fair contribution. It will help you build up a better buffer against costs. You having better contingency and resilience is better for everyone in the house.

Gymly · 26/04/2025 11:35

I understand it's a significant cost for you. I wonder if asking for petrol money sometimes would be better?

Augustus40 · 26/04/2025 10:44

Definitely get them to cover your lifts in petrol.

Original poster
Cherryblossoms54 · 26/04/2025 10:37

They are good kids Gymly. I’ve only said about the taxi sides because I am being asked to pick them up an awful lot. Last month I was £400 in fuel and my car is only a 1.2 engine. Usually I would be about £100 - £120 for myself for fuel.

OP posts:
Bollindger · 26/04/2025 10:36

Could you not just list all the bills and divide it by number of people...
I would say to them this is how house shares work....
For food ask if they want to buy their own or just a set amount per week.
Tell them any extra food money will be held over to cover holidays...

Gymly · 26/04/2025 10:33

£100 per week sounds fair for your oldest. It is a great deal including rent, food and bills. I think it's better training for standing on his own two feet later than taking a more token amount. If you can afford it, you could take a small amount of that and save it for him towards a rental deposit one day. You could also encourage him to save a regular amount into a savings account himself, "pay himself first", even if it's a token amount. April is a good month for this if his wages have just gone up.

With your younger one I still think £400 is fair but you could maybe reduced it temporarily until he has more work, or again save some of it for him towards uni or car expenses.

It sounds like you have well brought up, respectful young adults there. The fact they need you to drive I would treat as separate from their bed and board. You drive them as a parent/favour, it's not something they buy a right to with their rent.

Original poster
Cherryblossoms54 · 26/04/2025 10:33

I’m going to have to have a good think about it. I am panicking a bit now I’ve realised my energy deal is running out. I will need to have a look at that. I’m about £400 a I month just now, but in the winter I’m more so for 3 or 4 months I pay more to my energy bills so I’m not in debt.

OP posts:
Anonym00se · 26/04/2025 10:30

I always took 1/6 of their take home while they were on low wages. Once they started earning a decent wage I capped it at £200 a month (pre Covid) as I didn’t want to profit from them, just cover their costs. That figure would obviously be higher now.

Whateveryouwant1 · 26/04/2025 10:30

If you don't feel right taking the money why don't you just set up a separate a/c or two and save the money for them. Or save a percentage of what they give you.

Original poster
Cherryblossoms54 · 26/04/2025 10:27

Everyone who has answered has given me a lot to think about. Thank you very much.

OP posts:
Original poster
Cherryblossoms54 · 26/04/2025 10:26

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 26/04/2025 10:22

Mine pays £450. It’s reasonable, and I don’t want to subsidise him. He doesn’t choose to save, so he’d only spend even more on rubbish. He uses a ton of electricity. I also want to ensure it isn’t so much of a shock when he moves out, too.

Mines uses a tonne of electricity too, especially the oldest. My 2 oldest are gamers, the older one more than the other. All my kids have very healthy appetites.

Ive also just realised my energy deal runs out in June and my council tax has just went up so the figure I gave above will be even less. Oh and I haven’t included the insurance for the dog (who is actually my 20 year olds dog) but I pay the insurance and the vet bills which the insurance does not cover.

OP posts:
Sunshineandrainbow · 26/04/2025 10:24

DD is 2 days at uni and 3 days working minimum wage (24 hours)
She gives me 100 a month. She is careful with money and I would rather she was saving for her future.
I am single household income and work full time, live in rented house.

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 26/04/2025 10:22

Mine pays £450. It’s reasonable, and I don’t want to subsidise him. He doesn’t choose to save, so he’d only spend even more on rubbish. He uses a ton of electricity. I also want to ensure it isn’t so much of a shock when he moves out, too.

Lucelady · 26/04/2025 10:16

£400 is the average I believe. We're South and older parents.

I have two adult DC living at home one is a student who commutes so I don't charge her.
My DS is moving soon but eats an enormous amount of food. I'll look forward to the saving.

Original poster
Cherryblossoms54 · 26/04/2025 10:03

Blondebrownorred · 26/04/2025 09:53

My DSS is 27 and earns nearly £30k. He pays £250 pm. £400 sounds a lot to me.

Is that a 2 household income family or one?

OP posts:
Original poster
Cherryblossoms54 · 26/04/2025 09:59

wantmorenow · 26/04/2025 09:54

Keep taking the 400. It's a contribution from adults to running the home. It's part of adulting and a good life lesson. You shouldn't have less disposable income than your adult son's because you are subsidising their fripperies. 🤣

Ive been in my new job for a couple of months and I don’t have much money left over, I think last month I had almost £90 left to save, then the car needed a new tyre. However, I need dental work done and I’ve had to put that off to save for it as it’s almost £300. I need new glasses but can’t afford them.

I was hoping to start and get my hair done a bit more often but I don’t know when that will be.

OP posts:
wantmorenow · 26/04/2025 09:54

Keep taking the 400. It's a contribution from adults to running the home. It's part of adulting and a good life lesson. You shouldn't have less disposable income than your adult son's because you are subsidising their fripperies. 🤣

Blondebrownorred · 26/04/2025 09:53

My DSS is 27 and earns nearly £30k. He pays £250 pm. £400 sounds a lot to me.

REDB99 · 26/04/2025 09:52

I think £100 a week is reasonable given it includes bills and food! They’d never be able to live anywhere else for such a low amount. If you have extra cash left over then maybe save it with a view to being able to give them something back when they’re ready to move on e.g essentially save it for them?

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