Try to keep it as short as possible. Been with DH 7 years, married for 2 and have a 3 year old. Few years back found out my husband had a loan initially of around £6k, looking through the statements it was before we got together, he said he was paying it off and before me so didnt want to burden me with it- last year found out he had another one for £12k as a letter came through the door from a bank and i know we don’t have an account with them so asked him to open it and that was revealed- husband gets paid well (we both do) so after the revelation he paid it off quickly so then I thought we were back on track and starting fresh. This week we were discussed opening a joint account for every day living stuff eg petrol/food etc but I asked to do his credit check first before we open one, his score came back good however I asked if I could read through, it was then I realised he had 5.5k on a credit card.
Husband has said this has all been from before we met where tbh we were young and I didn’t even think to ask. However everytime I’ve found out about debt etc he’s reassured me that’s it all gone for me to then find something else out again.
ive never had to bail him out as he’s paid it off himself, mortgage is in my name, no joint accounts as of yet and we earn well but this constant fear of finding things is just getting ridiculous- the £12k one I was absolutely heartbroken but when I found out about this £5.5k I was almost numb like I’ve got used to it?! Might be worth noting we lost his mum a few months back after a 4 year battle with cancer which tbh was just brutal and very traumatic near the end ( we both helped with the pallitve care) so don’t know if I’m on auto pilot
For people who have gone through this what are your experiences/thoughts?