Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour I barely know approached DH to imply that I'm cheating

168 replies

NC2StayAnonymous25 · 26/04/2025 00:09

I've been with my DH for 8 years, we moved into our current properly (an apartment) 2 years ago.

Below us lives a woman and her son, who looks around 21ish yo.

We don't know them to speak to bar a polite hello when passing in the foyer.

About three weeks ago the son approached my DH and said "are you still with your misses?"

DH, confused, says "yes, why?"

The neighbours lad then tells him that he saw me with another man the previous week, on a certain street, talking to him on the doorstep, and he thinks that he should have words with me!

DH didn't mention anything about it until tonight when we had a disagreement about something unrelated.

I'm livid.

I was able to explain exactly who it was and why (completely, unequivocally innocent of any wrongdoing - I was collecting an amazon fire tablet from a seller on Facebook marketplace!)

I would understand it if the neighbours were friends of DH and had spotted me kissing/cuddling somebody, but to interfere and stir up trouble without any suggestion I was up to no good, has pissed me right off.

It's the implication that I'm not 'allowed' to interact with men in any capacity, or I must be shagging them.

I really want to give the lad a piece of my mind but I'm being told that if I do then I ..yes I.. am going to cause trouble.

Am I being unreasonable or is the neighbour?

OP posts:
IdaPolly · 26/04/2025 01:04

NC2StayAnonymous25 · 26/04/2025 00:55

I'm not sure about any LD's or mental health problems really. I've never had a conversation with him, only ever said hello/morning. I do know that he smokes a hell of a lot of weed.

I also know that he tried to gossip to DH about his next door neighbours at one point.

DH crossed paths with him in the foyer and apparently he was saying "did you hear so and so having a domestic last night"

I think he's an all round nosy bastard tbh.

It's strange for a young man of that age to want to involve himself in grown folks relationships isn't it?

Yes he sounds like a right gossip monger

Original poster
NC2StayAnonymous25 · 26/04/2025 00:59

pikkumyy77 · 26/04/2025 00:57

They aren’t told to pass on rabdom gossip or surveil their neighbors! And they are often told not to say anything for fear of male anti-female violence.

Show quote history

That's a really good point.

If I were in an abusive relationship that dickhead would have put me in danger by saying what he did.

OP posts:
pikkumyy77 · 26/04/2025 00:57

BlondiePortz · 26/04/2025 00:29

Women are told on here all the time of they think someone is cheating they need to say something it is their 'duty'

They aren’t told to pass on rabdom gossip or surveil their neighbors! And they are often told not to say anything for fear of male anti-female violence.

Original poster
NC2StayAnonymous25 · 26/04/2025 00:55

I'm not sure about any LD's or mental health problems really. I've never had a conversation with him, only ever said hello/morning. I do know that he smokes a hell of a lot of weed.

I also know that he tried to gossip to DH about his next door neighbours at one point.

DH crossed paths with him in the foyer and apparently he was saying "did you hear so and so having a domestic last night"

I think he's an all round nosy bastard tbh.

It's strange for a young man of that age to want to involve himself in grown folks relationships isn't it?

OP posts:
GBooArt · 26/04/2025 00:50

It's be livid and definitely give the guy a piece of mind. Does he have issues of some kind? Learning difficulties or mental health issues?

Original poster
NC2StayAnonymous25 · 26/04/2025 00:38

I suspect DH was sitting on it and waiting to see if anything suspicious cropped up which would add credence to the implication that I'm cheating.

A bit like when we read on here that somebody has been sent an anonymous 'tip off' that the DH is having an affair, the poster is often told to ignore it if there's no proof but to keep a close eye on things.

OP posts:
Bigcat25 · 26/04/2025 00:35

Exactly. That argument only holds water if there was some basis for his claim. What an illogical stance to take@BlondiePortz.

OoooopsUpsideYourHead · 26/04/2025 00:35

NC2StayAnonymous25 · 26/04/2025 00:19

That's what I asked him.

He said he didn't know how to raise it without it looking like he was accusing me.

Show quote history

See my husband would've said something like, "Guess what that weed smoking little weirdo downstairs said".

Or something simple along those lines.

Original poster
NC2StayAnonymous25 · 26/04/2025 00:32

BlondiePortz · 26/04/2025 00:29

Women are told on here all the time of they think someone is cheating they need to say something it is their 'duty'

Not if the only indication of infidelity is that the DH/DW is stood in public having a conversation with an unknown person of the opposite sex.

Edit - Somebody posting that would be told to mind their own business.

There's always much, much more to it than that.

OP posts:
BlondiePortz · 26/04/2025 00:29

Women are told on here all the time of they think someone is cheating they need to say something it is their 'duty'

Original poster
NC2StayAnonymous25 · 26/04/2025 00:28

pikkumyy77 · 26/04/2025 00:27

Ugly whichever way you look at it. Men policing women for other men.

Yep!

It smacks of contempt. How dare a married woman exchange words with a person of the opposite sex, must be having an affair 🙄

OP posts:
pikkumyy77 · 26/04/2025 00:27

Ugly whichever way you look at it. Men policing women for other men.

Original poster
NC2StayAnonymous25 · 26/04/2025 00:27

DenholmElliot11 · 26/04/2025 00:25

I really want to give the lad a piece of my mind but I'm being told that if I do then I ..yes I.. am going to cause trouble.

I'd be telling him straight too! Cheeky little bastard!

My thoughts exactly.

I'm tempted to email the co proprietary of the building whilst I'm at it, to tell them about him stinking the building out with his weed.

The nosy little shit.

OP posts:
DenholmElliot11 · 26/04/2025 00:25

I really want to give the lad a piece of my mind but I'm being told that if I do then I ..yes I.. am going to cause trouble.

I'd be telling him straight too! Cheeky little bastard!

Original poster
NC2StayAnonymous25 · 26/04/2025 00:20

PenguinChops · 26/04/2025 00:17

You only have your husbands word for it that this conversation took place

That's true. I really can't imagine why the neighbour would make it up though.

It was definitely me on that doorstep so he must have seen me as he says.

OP posts:
Original poster
NC2StayAnonymous25 · 26/04/2025 00:19

OoooopsUpsideYourHead · 26/04/2025 00:14

Both the neighbour and your husband are BU.

Why did he wait 3 weeks to mention it and even then, only bring it up in an argument?

That's what I asked him.

He said he didn't know how to raise it without it looking like he was accusing me.

OP posts:
PenguinChops · 26/04/2025 00:17

You only have your husbands word for it that this conversation took place

OoooopsUpsideYourHead · 26/04/2025 00:14

Both the neighbour and your husband are BU.

Why did he wait 3 weeks to mention it and even then, only bring it up in an argument?

Swipe left for the next trending thread