Neighbour I barely know approached DH to imply that I'm cheating

Weird neighbour. But your DH needs to be the one who has a word with him. Not you. If this guy is potentially on drugs, putting yourself in the line of fire is not safe. And I think you should say that to DH. This is quite creepy, and while you are rightly angry your DH needs to step up a bit.

I also agree that your DH probably sat on it, not knowing what to do with the information. I am not sure I would know what to do if I was in his position - with or without a backstory.

That was supposed to say rumours not running - although maybe if he starts running he’d have less time to be a gossipy dickhead 🤣

Could it be that the neighbours are just 💩stirrers and are doing it for a laugh?

Do a test and get your DH to chat with one of your pals in the street and see if they imply he is having an affair (or vice versa). It could also be the lad is a Tate follower and thinks all women should be on a leash when out of the home.

Of course the neighbour was doing something wrong. There are hundreds of reasons you may visit another person at their home. It's not like you were hugging the person. I might not say anything to the neighbour (he could be unstable) but I'd definitely report the weed nuisance.

RE asking does DH trust me, I don't think he does completely no. He has been less than angelic himself and I think suspects that one day I might do something in retaliation.

Well that's the problem then isn't it?

If that's the case I don't know why you're so pissed off with the neighbour.

He said what he saw & it shouldn't have mattered to your husband.

Who also should have shut him down for the "have words" bollocks.

Yes!!! I don’t think he will though because he doesn’t like ‘trouble’ 🙄
The interfering shit.

I don't usually condone violence, but I think your husband was remiss and should have punched the obnoxious youth in the mouth for impugning your honour. It's a bit late now.

Next time you see the neighbour, I would say that you can’t be seen talking to him as some nosy neighbour has been trying to stir up trouble with your dh and actually now you think about it, there has been a smell of weed around so you’re wondering who you should report that to!

Your DH doesn’t think this lad has done anything wrong?!… yes he has, he’s implied, with absolutely nothing to go on other than seeing you talk to someone, that you’re possibly having an affair.

This lad needs to get himself a hobby other than starting running and smoking weed.

I would absolutely be reporting the weed smell, and whilst I wouldn’t go and knock on his door I would wait until I see him to mention something like ‘oh, glad I’ve seen you, my DH says you wanted to speak to me about a man you’d seen me with”.

Raise what with you? The fact you were talking to a man on your doorstep?
Is that some sort of crime? What are you supposed to have done?

I would break it down to your dh into the exact words used.

You were seen talking to a man on your doorstep.

So f* king What?

Neighbour said he should have a word with you? Did your dh ask why he should have a word with you. Or what that word should be

Why would your dh saying you were seen chatting to a man on your doorstep be an accusation?

I would then ask neighbour why he thought to even talk to your dh about you talking to a man on your doorstep

I would act really confused and try to act concerned that he must be really lonely and bored if he wanted to strike up a conversation with your dh and used you talking to a man as his conversation starter

Or is he of some weird religious sect where women talking to a man on her doorstep is seen as noteworthy
Is his life so sad and lonely that he has to spy on you and make comments about normal everyday interactions.

I am presuming you are going to be standing on his doorstep so should you tell his mother to have a word with him

I would ask him what he thought he saw and how that was something he felt he needed to tell your dh’s about
I would ask him what word you dh was supposed to be saying to you

Elephant is a word

So Creep. Weirdo is another word, another is Stalker.

His weed smoking is seriously affecting his grip on reality

As for your dh I think he needs to take some lessons in listening and understanding words

He sounds like he could be open to being scammed if he doesn’t understand what exactly is being said

I was absolutely astonished by similar situation years ago. Husband working away for weeks, assorted friends male, female, couples had dropped in as friends do. Various, yes more than one, people had noticed that I'd broken a social rule I knew nothing about. I'd invited MEN into our house in husband's absence. Apparently in thise circumstances, any man is there for one reason only and I must be shagging them senseless as soon as the door closed. This was in a small town in Devon. I'm from London. I found it very oppressive living there, half a century behind all of my friends. Utterly bizarre closed mindsets some people have. Moved back to town ASAP where nobody watches your visitors on a husband's behalf.

Do you think the weirdo could have been following you?

He gets worse. I honestly think this could enter deal-breaking territory for me. Especially in light of your comments re his 'less than angelic' behaviour. Sounds like he is a bit if a Tate-freak himself. Ffs.

Him being dismissive towards you would piss me off way more than stoner boy ever could, oh my god.

The nerve on both of them.

Wow. I would be very angry too. I would be having words with the little Tate-freak AND so should your husband. You're being let down here OP. 💐

Same !! And told him to do one 🤣

Definitely grass the weirdo up to the landlord.

Other than that I wouldn’t engage with the incel. I might be tempted to speak to his mother about how her kid behaves around women, if you think she’d be receptive. I’d (metaphorically) kick mine up the arse if he was talking about women like that.

@NC2StayAnonymous25 lurking in the foyer kinda sounds like dealing, but someone would have noticed if there was a lot of in-and-out

Sounds like this lad doesn’t have anything better to do than spy on neighbours.

The neighbour is a busy body and the husband is a total jerk. No one should accept comments like ‘have a word with your wife’ FFS, what a bloody caveman attitude.

The Fact your husband brought it up mid-argument, I suppose to try to get an upper hand? Would be what annoyed me most! If it were mine, he’d have firstly defended my honour and told the lad to keep his nose out of other peoples business and also would have come to me straight away “listen to the nonsense Mr Ganja has just to me ha ha ha”…

As for the neighbour, just cut off any form of communication with him, he sounds like one of those chavvy people who lives off creating drama (we all know the type!)🤢

Why would her DH wait three weeks if he had seen her himself ? Why would he involve the neighbour if it wasn’t true, when OP could so easily check ? You’re implying that DH was doing something he shouldn't - how is that helpful ?