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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

So sad

67 replies

Niceandsleazy · 25/04/2025 23:49

Well I’ve had a good life. But here I am with no friends and no social life. Is this a normal part of getting older?

OP posts:
Londonismyjam · 01/05/2025 12:44

Niceandsleazy · 25/04/2025 23:49

Well I’ve had a good life. But here I am with no friends and no social life. Is this a normal part of getting older?

Didn’t want to read and run or your mumsnet experience here might have reinforced your post!
I think it’s harder to ‘put yourself out there’ as you get older, especially if you are still working and running out of energy. But once you retire there are lots of opportunities for a social life. I didn’t want to join the U3A at first because I thought (wrongly) that it would be too old for me. I was wrong. There’s a wide range of activities, not just walking, and people are very welcoming. Once you start going to a group regularly then it becomes easier to find someone that you get on with then build up to friendships. There’s been loads of info on mumsnet about other opportunities such as Meet Up, voluntary work, Bookclubs. It sounds to me that you might be tired and not have the energy to get out there. I understand that. Sometimes it’s just nice to settle in with a Netflix series too and that’s ok. 💐

KelishaBelisha · 30/04/2025 22:59

I feel like it’s a normal part of getting older. I don’t want to do online dating or join classes. I’m too busy with work. It’s quite depressing.

WeylandYutani · 30/04/2025 22:54

no it is not a normal part of getting older.
Is this way of life hurting you? If so, you can change it.

BumbleBeegu · 30/04/2025 22:50

Join a Meet Up group in your area. I’ve just turned 60 and was also in a similar rut. I joined two local Meet Up social groups and my social life is rocking! I’ve just got home from a lovely meal with 7 other members, and on Saturday I’m off on a walk followed by a pub lunch. It’s a really great way to meet people.

feelingbleh · 30/04/2025 22:45

It doesn't have to be if you don't want it to be have a look at local clubs/ hobbies etc. Or look into social prescribing.

Original poster
Niceandsleazy · 30/04/2025 22:21

Poppyseeds79 · 30/04/2025 22:20

I think sometimes you get out what you put in?

I'm mid 40s, rarely keep in touch with anyone from school now. Colleague friendships come and go, I also spend time with DD and her kids.

If I wanted to find activities to do with someone I could. If I wanted to find someone to go for a drink with them I could. If I wanted someone to go on a weeks holiday with I'd not have anyone.

You’re a lot younger than I .

OP posts:
Anonymouseposter · 30/04/2025 22:21

I think there’s a stage in mid life when everyone is busy and it can be difficult to make connections but I have made some very good friends since retiring so I don’t think it’s part of getting older.

Poppyseeds79 · 30/04/2025 22:20

I think sometimes you get out what you put in?

I'm mid 40s, rarely keep in touch with anyone from school now. Colleague friendships come and go, I also spend time with DD and her kids.

If I wanted to find activities to do with someone I could. If I wanted to find someone to go for a drink with them I could. If I wanted someone to go on a weeks holiday with I'd not have anyone.

Original poster
Niceandsleazy · 30/04/2025 22:18

Screamingabdabz · 30/04/2025 22:17

How old are you? I think that’s relevant.

Not old enough to retire and old enough to ache

OP posts:
Flamingoknees · 30/04/2025 22:18

How old are you OP? Are you fit and well? Are you looking for suggestions as to how to find new friends?

Original poster
Niceandsleazy · 30/04/2025 22:17

Idontjetwashthefucker · 30/04/2025 22:16

Actually ignore that, i have no idea if you enabled it or if its automatic on aibu

No idea. I’m crap at techie stuff

OP posts:
Screamingabdabz · 30/04/2025 22:17

How old are you? I think that’s relevant.

Idontjetwashthefucker · 30/04/2025 22:16

Actually ignore that, i have no idea if you enabled it or if its automatic on aibu

Idontjetwashthefucker · 30/04/2025 22:15

You enabled the voting OP

Original poster
Niceandsleazy · 30/04/2025 22:14

Why does anyone think a general question is reasonable or not? I didn’t ask for a
vote, I was starting a discussion. It is difficult to get out of a rut. Especially as you age.

OP posts:
stayathomer · 25/04/2025 23:54

My mil and sil have just joined a women’s shed. They have discounted classes, walks, day trips, they do crafts and cooking and have book groups. It sounds like so much fun!

TheSlantedOwl · 25/04/2025 23:52

Sorry to hear you’re sad. How old are you? Do you want to devote time to making new connections? It take concerted effort.

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