AIBU to want to make a complaint about a physiotherapist?

I'm actually quite interested in what career op went into and how she'd feel if she'd came across the physio or any other of the children she'd abused and her thoughts if they made a complaint to her employer refusing to engage due to her abuse?

There’s no excuse for your behaviour. She deserves an apology (as do all the children you taught). How dare you try to make her life harder because she told you the truth.

I think that was a good opportunity to apologise profusely and explain in brief what you said here and hope she accepted your apology.

My parents from abroad told.me horrid stories of their time in the 50s and 60s at school and how they were physically harmed, with the approval from parents. When visiting "back home" my father and mother both met said nasty teachers who did the worst abuse. One used a metal ruler and wacked my mother on the head and made her bleed a female teacher. the other male teacher used a book to hit my dad in the ribs and broke his ribs. P.s this was all for not memorsing a sentence correctly. Not the bat shot mental kid behaviour in the UK that often warrants some hands on discipline.
Anyway I asked my parents to confront them they saw them and had a chance. And they refused, i assume deep down they still fear them.

At 26yo you threw someone’s desk across the room? At 26yo the only way to gain control of a classroom was to terrorise 9/10yo children? And you are wondering why, while giving professional care and a pleasant attitude to your DH, she is not all smiles and rainbows with you? And you want to complain about that? Are you dense?

At 26yo I was in a professional workforce, being treated worse than pond scum from the levels above me (was a thing for all, I wasn’t singled out), and also copping abuse from absolute arseholes (I could use a stronger word), I was trying to help. This was before the time you describe, but we still weren’t able to hit anyone or throw beds about. At 26yo you are an adult and you use appropriate mechanisms to manage and control situations.

You may have moved on, but she hasn't. You don't get to police her feelings, which actually sound justified to me. Did you try apologising?

The red herring you have thrown in for yourself, @Toooldforallthisnow is that 'smacking still went on'. With this phrase, you are justifying your abuse of children.

It's irrelevant if smacking still went on. You chose to smack - that's what is relevant. Most adults don't choose this in environments where it is alliowed because they are not violent.

You chose to throw a desk at or near children.

You now choose to be riled at perceived rudeness.

You now choose to resort immediately to revenge (complain).

Therapy, deep self-reflection, accountability and responsibility are what you owe society, because you have barely moved on from being that 26 year old abuser.

And whether it was allowed or not it’s a very valid judgement of someone’s character if they happily did it. I wonder if the OP would still smack kids, abuse animals, etc if it was allowed and acceptable? I’d struggle to be civil to someone like that.

Corporal punishment was legally banned in 1987 and to be honest was very rare and frowned upon for a good few years prior to that. I started school in 1980 and it wasn’t a thing. I remember the ban being brought in and talked about on the news at the time and the message was very much that it rarely happens these days.

At my primary school the teachers weren’t allowed to undertake corporal punishment prior to the ban although there was a vague threat the headmaster still could.

i think it’s very unusual that in the “very late 80s” a junior classroom teacher would have been allowed to be smacking kids.

So. The 70's and early 80's was a time when shouting at pupils was common. The slipper, cane and ruler, were common punishments. Teachers threw blackboard rubbers. Children were humiliated. (In the schools I attended).
I would, however, expect you to now realise that this behaviour was abusive.
An apology was in order, in response to her explaining her aloofness.
You were a bully then, and you are trying to bully her now too.
Back off.

it makes no difference in your life how the physiotherapist treats you.
she is treating your dh, not you.
you had no right to call her out on it

agree

WOW.

OP you obviously had a huge negative impact on the physio and probably every other child in your class.

You have no idea what damage you have done to them.

What would your complaint look like.

Dear hospital,

My husband is currently received good care from all staff including the physio.

Unfortunately the physio doesn't like me because I bullied her when she was a child and she also witnessed me assaulting other children in the class.

Give what the OP has actually admitted to doing, I can't even imagine the things she has 'forgotten'.

I would love to see the teacher who tormented me as an 11 year old. She would receive a lot more than a 'curt' conversation.

i presume by you saying you smacked them it was under the banner or corporal punishment which when I was at primary school in the 1980's was definitely still being carried out by our headmaster.

There was a particularly horrid teacher at primary and the female PE teacher at high school was horrible. If I saw them and they tried to be pleasant to me now I'm an adult I would tell them what I thought of them too.

I hope you apologised OP.

OP you abused little children. You still sound like a nasty person. The woman should report you to the police. I hope she does.

And what do you mean @Ilovetowander the physio needs to act 'professionally'?
That she has to be deferrential and bow/scrape to the OP?!

@Ilovetowander op herself admits her abusive behaviour physical and verbal to little ,children.
Do you honestly think 'oh well it's in the past, move on.... oh poor abuser!!'

Another voice saying that if you made this complaint against one of my subordinates it would open a can of worms for you that you might prefer remained closed.

The fact that you pulled someone else's HCP to challenge them on being 'aloof' (lol) towards you suggests that you have not resolved the aggression and control issues that led you to abuse children. Instead of making a complaint, perhaps some therapy.

Different world back in 1980’s, OP was clearly not supported in her first year of teaching as this resulted in an awful situation for both pupils and the young teacher. That is in the past. Given the past and the fact the treatment of the OP’s husband is good I think it would be best to remain on c basic communication with the physio. The reality of the classroom over 30 years ago may be different to what is remembered by both parties, the past can’t be changed and to coin a phrase “recollections may vary”. Best in my view to move on, the physio needs to act professionally and it seems that her behaviour is borderline but maybe given the past give her the benefit of the doubt.

You sound incredibly naive/thick-skinned: you don’t seem to have any idea of the effects that smacking, shouting and throwing a desk around might have on a bunch of children. Those actions engender fear and anxiety.

If I were you, I’d feel utterly ashamed and remorseful on meeting someone who’d both witnessed and been on the receiving end of such appalling behaviour.

But you sound stroppy, entitled and without much conscience at all.

Actually yes this. If I line managed them, and this came in, I'd be asking if they wanted referral to Occy Health, wanted removed from ever having to liaise with you and definitely offering full support to report historical abuse. Hell I don't know if I'd want someone like you @Toooldforallthisnow on my ward with vulnerable people on it!

Can’t believe you’re moaning about perceived unprofessional behaviour when as an adult you were smacking ids and throwing desks at them! And it wasn’t allowed to behave like this in the 80s. Sure complain against her and watch that bite you on the arse when she complains to the police about you assaulting kids!

This, she probably doesn't want anyone else who may remember you seeing her talk with you and think that she's OK with you.
The absolute arrogance in yout post to brush off physical and verbal assault of children and make YOURSELF the victim of the situation, yet considering a complaint about someone not being deferential enough for your liking? Arrogance. Do have the belief system that a public employee is a 'public servant'?!

This.

This. Whilst your post acknowledges what you did back then, there is very little in what you’ve written that suggests any real remorse or true ownership for the damage you have (evidently) caused to at least one of the pupils who was under your care for those 8 months.

Given you say the standard of treatment she is giving your DH is not a concern, you absolutely should not be complaining. I think your best course of action is to try to stay out of her way whilst she’s doing her job and perhaps, during those 20/30 minutes when your taking a walk around the hospital or having a cuppa in the canteen to kill time, you can hold a mirror up to yourself and really candidly reflect on what she said. Think about what you did, why you did it, why you still seem to think you can justify/make excuses for it and most importantly, what you can learn from this. You’ve had some very raw and harsh feedback from your former pupil. Instead of minimising what happened, perhaps accept the extent of the upset you’ve caused.

Who knows, you may find that after one of those time killing trips and all of that introspection, you’ll realise you need to find the physio and give her a sincere apology? One that fully acknowledges your behaviour back then, with no excuses or rationalisations. I personally think it should also be an apology that recognises your sheer audacity to still be considering making a complaint against her, particularly when you so abjectly failed to respond appropriately with an apology immediately after she’d revealed the truth to you during your ‘altercation’.