AIBU to want to make a complaint about a physiotherapist?

What on earth would you be hoping to achieve by complaining? Her being disciplined? Losing her job? Having to justify why she wasn’t warm and friendly to a non patient? I understand you were unsuited to teaching and couldn’t control your temper and left but be thankful someone never complained about you. Let it go.

What on earth are you moaning about?
She is doing her job well and supporting your husband to the best of her professional ability, despite witnessing you abusing children when she was a child herself. It took her courage to respond to your unreasonable complaints, I applaud her.

As health professionals we are humans too, and I as a physio manager I would absolutely stand by her if you made the poor choice to make a complaint.

If you did this, the only one to lose out would be your husband, as she could then refuse to treat him. They would of course have to ask an alternative physio to see him, but this would be one which doesn't know his needs as well as her.

I suggest you leave a card for her with a written apology, both for your behaviour then, and now.

Wow! I was going to say that she was being unprofessional, but actually I don’t blame her. It may only have been a short period of your life, but that is probably one of her overriding memories of school life. I expect she felt sick when she saw you and tbh, in this day and age she could probably report you!

I would even go so far as saying that you should apologise to her and explain how unhappy you were (which is not an excuse) and you appreciate how awful you were and how frightened the children must have been.

You sound like someone who can dish it out but not take it. I'm amazed at your ignorance.

I actually know someone with a very similar mindset and behaviour (I suspect the only reason she doesn’t hit the kids is because she wouldn’t get away with it). It’s a complete mystery to her why she can’t get a permanent role as a teacher. Absolutely no self-awareness whatsoever.

Chickens coming home to roost. She remembers you as you were so unpleasant to her and her friends she can't forget. Talking about complaining about her anyway though? Reflection is what you need.

Absolutely this. The time to address this with the physio was during the conversation and to admit your own failings. The fact there were no complaints made against you is irrelevant, your behaviour in the classroom was horrific. Your version of events is all "poor me". It must have been terrifying to be in your classroom. Don't complain about her. Do apologise to her sincerely if you are able to.

How old are you that hitting children was still OK???? I was at school 40 years ago and it was absolutely not OK. And throwing a desk?? Terrifying for 10 year olds! I can't believe you are minimising your behaviour. I am a teacher and have known lots of teachers leave the profession as it wasn't for them, but none of them behaved like this.
You sound like a vile bully. It must have been a real shock for her to see you. I would be apologising to her, not complaining to her.

How can you blame her?? I’m surprised she can even look at you.

You should be apologising to her.

You’ve damaged a lot of children who will remember you the whole of their lives.

Can you not see that?

Does it not even matter to you?

Very obviously not 😔

This is one of those threads that may be made up, but has a good hypothetical discussion point around it.

I think posters are united in condemning the actions of the OP, then and now. She shows no remorse for her abuse of children. I wonder what kind of person does this ? What other acts of abuse have they committed and made excuses for?

I have always wondered what the teachers at my primary school in the'70s, especially the deputy head and head that caned and 'slippered' small children, think when they look back on their crimes; are they ashamed? remorseful? or do they do what the OP is doing here..try and justify it?.

I also wonder how many adult victims of physical abuse by teachers have met their abuser and confronted them?.

I was a primary school child on the 80's at a London primary school, smacking was absolutely not a thing at all

You abused those children. No wonder she was standoffish with you.

Do not complain

you sound awful, what you did back then and how you are now. Your actions clearly caused longterm damage and now you reap what you sow.
I think the physiotherapist is being very professional not allowing her feelings of you cloud her care for your husband.

Giving the benefit of the doubt that this is real…This was a junior school? It’s not acceptable to abuse children of any age (or adults for that matter) but these were young kids. Not mouthy, physically large teenagers.

Thank god you left the profession quickly so you couldn’t traumatise any more children.

What I don’t believe is that you are thinking about telling the hospital authorities that you used to physically abuse children, just so you can tell them that this lady isn’t s friendly as you would like. Do you think she won’t tell them what really happened if you make a complaint about her?

It certainly does stick with you...

I mean this was your opportunity to apologise to your ex pupil. You yourself said you’re amazed she remembers so much. I myself was smacked out of the blue with no warning when I was around 11 or so because I forgot my swimming costume by a female PE teacher in the 80s and I never forgot it. Despite all my achievements since, this lives rent free in my head and is just a horrid memory that my brain for some reason insists I retain. This is the reality for your ex pupil also I imagibe. I bet that PE teacher just went home and forgot about it. Don’t underestimate how your actions affect others especially unwarranted ones like yours. Do the decent thing and apologise instead of going on the attack yet again attempting to defend the indefensible.

YABU.
You haven’t reflected on your past at all - you’ve just simply explained it. You traumatised a group of children during their formative years - of course this will affect them!

You sound VERY similar to a teacher I had in Primary school. I watched them shout and get furious over the things children did, they also flipped a table and dragged children around the room. It terrorised and terrified us. I saw this teacher at a funeral in my 40’s and just seeing them gave me a visceral response, so much so that I had to sit out the funeral in my car.

You underestimate how your behaviour has impacted the children that you taught yet expect to be treated with respect by someone you clearly terrified as a child.

Some humility is needed here. If I were you, I’d apologise for the way you treated everyone in your class to this Physio. If you can’t , stay well out of her way. She owes you nothing at all.

As an ex physio manager, please do complain.

I wouldn't want any of my members of staff to have to be around someone who traumatised them as a child. Whilst applauding her professionalism in not letting it affect her patient care, I would want to ensure she didn't have to encounter someone from her past who is so deranged that they think 'being curt' is worse than physical violence and emotional abuse.

Maybe take it higher, and complain to the CSP? Being curt is a completely appropriate way to professionally shut down a person who is overstepping boundaries. Something tells me you might be that type.

What you'll find is that whoever you complain to will apologise by proxy and say that the situation is being dealt with internally.

Or you could appreciate the fact that you have (judging by her age) an extremely experienced physio dealing with your husband, and shut up for his sake. Any replacement physio is highly likely to be much less experienced.

Better yet, apologise for being a bully rather than appropriately curt at the time you abused those children.

You left out an important part of your story, OP, and that's the bit where you acknowledge the truth of what she says, listen sympathetically to how your behaviour has affected her and apologise unreservedly for that behaviour - before thanking her for the excellent and totally professional care she has been giving your husband. There is nothing to complain about here. If anything she has shown great restraint and professionalism. The onus is on you to clear the air.

OMG
you brutalised children
you describe this whilst trying to minimise it and justify it because you were in a bad place !!!
so we can brutalise and assault people if we are in a bad place ?? And even if this is children ? And even if we are being paid to protect and educate them ?
and you want to complain when one of your victims is finding it difficult to communicate with you amicably ??
SHAME ON YOU

If this is real, you're recklessly insensitive to the point of harm.

It does sound like you aren’t very emotionally intelligent OP - emotionally intelligent people wouldn’t get to the point of slapping a child or throwing a desk in the first place. Most people who did get to that point, would then feel massive shame and regret. But you don’t feel that?

You're going to say ‘that was the norm back then’ - yes. That’s not good though!

To be totally clear, you were absolutely disgusting then and it doesn’t look like you’ve changed much now. What a vile woman.

You hit kids and threw a desk across the room? YABU

You’re not being “held hostage” to your past.
You behaved appallingly and the only consequence you’re facing is that one person’s being curt to you 35 years later.
Grow up, apologise to her and for the love of god don’t make more of a tit of yourself by complaining.

You’re surprised a 9 year old remembers a desk being thrown in the classroom? How curious.

Unfortunately (for you), our past follows us 🤷‍♀️