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Original poster

DH Leaving Baby Alone with Cats

140 replies

untitled1 · 25/04/2025 22:02

I'm really struggling with a situation at home and could use some outside perspective. I have a three-week-old baby and we also have cats. Today, my husband left our baby in the living room with two of the cats while the baby was sleeping so he could wash dishes and quickly nip upstairs.

I completely flipped out when I discovered this. In my view, a newborn should never be left alone with pets, even for a few minutes. I've made this request clear before, but my husband is now saying he's not going to follow it if he's "just nipping out the room for a few minutes."

I'm absolutely devastated that he won't honor this simple request regarding our newborn's safety. The cats may be perfectly gentle, but they're still animals with unpredictable behavior.

Am I being unreasonable here? Or am I right to be upset that my husband won't follow this boundary when it comes to our baby?

More importantly, what can I do about this, what do others with cats do?

OP posts:
WearyAuldWumman · 25/04/2025 22:54

WickWood · 25/04/2025 22:52

I think when you delve deeper, the cats were just in the room when the baby, very sadly, passed away x

Show quote history

That's certainly been suggested as an explanation. The exception seems to be the Battersea case.

WickWood · 25/04/2025 22:52

WearyAuldWumman · 25/04/2025 22:35

According to one blog, the American Journal of Pediatrics reported 13 cases over a 40 year period.

Show quote history

I think when you delve deeper, the cats were just in the room when the baby, very sadly, passed away x

Calmdownpeople · 25/04/2025 22:49

OP your language is catastrophising -‘absolutely devastated’ is a bit much.

If it bothers you that much you can get a cover thing for a Moses basket.

whattodo22222 · 25/04/2025 22:46

Yanbu. It might be unlikely that anything would happen but it's just not worth the risk AT ALL

Thecatspjymas · 25/04/2025 22:44

I agree OP. Could you get one of those High chairs with newborn inserts? Would DH use that? My dog is lovely and calm, my cat has a mean streak. I wouldn’t leave either with a baby.

WearyAuldWumman · 25/04/2025 22:38

WearyAuldWumman · 25/04/2025 22:35

According to one blog, the American Journal of Pediatrics reported 13 cases over a 40 year period.

Show quote history

I can't find an article confirming this, but found this for the AAP online:

Cats, unlike dogs, evince a partiality for lying on the children's chests in close proximity to their faces, and when that is the case there is a real danger of a fatal termination by suffocation. An inquiry was recently held at Battersea into the circumstances of the death of a 1-month-old infant. A relative of the deceased stated that the infant was put to bed at mid-day, and half an hour later, when she went into the room, she found the cat curled up on the child's face.

https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article-abstract/47/3/515/46497/ON-CATS-AND-CRIB-DEATH?redirectedFrom=fulltext

Honest1988 · 25/04/2025 22:38

Trust your GUT if it doesn't sit well with you then sit your husband down and explain your reasons and that he needs to respect these. If anything were to happen you would never forgive him.

Never let anyone dismiss your feelings. A mother's instinct is to protect their baby this is all you are doing. I hope your husband respects your wishes x

Kitkatcatflap · 25/04/2025 22:38

I had twins with 4 cats. Cats mostly avoided the babies, too noisy and smelly. Kept the bedroom door closed when sleeping but never had any incidents.

The cats did like those vibrating baby seats, which we found funny as the babies hated them. Health Visitor called round and each baby seat had two cats asleep buzzing/vibrating away on full speed. Health Visitor looked at the cats and asked where the babies were, I said upstairs taking a nap in their cots.

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 25/04/2025 22:38

That means you, for example , @Idunno8. Yes, you don’t know.

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 25/04/2025 22:36

He must never do this. I did accidentally with a month old baby and returned to find the cat in the pram on the baby’s chest. There was a cat net. I tried 2 other cats nets after this. They were all shit. It’s a dangerous thing to do and anyone telling you to chill out is an idiot.

WearyAuldWumman · 25/04/2025 22:35

Whenindoubthugitout · 25/04/2025 22:09

A complete and utter over reaction on your part.

please link any cases where babies have been smothered by a cat.

According to one blog, the American Journal of Pediatrics reported 13 cases over a 40 year period.

Gymly · 25/04/2025 22:30

YANBU, we never left our cats unattended with a baby.

Surely cat nets predate Footballers' Wives. They sit on a nice warm lap, they like baskets with soft mattresses inside, it's not crazy to think they might decide to sit on the nice warm baby in the nice comfy basket. Or as PP said, just jump into it blind and landing on them.

WearyAuldWumman · 25/04/2025 22:29

Floofyboy2010 · 25/04/2025 22:06

@Idunno8A cat could suffocate a newborn if it jumped in the moses basket. I'm with OP.

I agree.

Even as a child, I was warned that you never leave a cat alone with a baby - it can do damage just by seeking warmth and snuggling up with the baby.

MsCactus · 25/04/2025 22:28

Cats and even tiny dogs can easily smother babies unintentionally. YANBU - you need to make sure your newborn is not left unattended with them - that tiny baby has no defences!

TheCountofMountingCrispBags · 25/04/2025 22:27

You have 2 choices:
Get rid of your DH
Get rid of the cats
Or
Calm down. It's a non-issue!

Snugglemonkey · 25/04/2025 22:24

Idunno8 · 25/04/2025 22:04

Yeah you need to chill out, if it was a dog, thats fair, but a cat?

Cats can smother babies.

CatamaranViper · 25/04/2025 22:23

CatamaranViper · 25/04/2025 22:23

I'm 99% sure a cat smothered a baby in either Footballers Wives or Bad Girls back in the day (based off an old wives tale) and it's made people paranoid.

OP, you know your cats. If they are highly strung and ready to attack, then you probably should re-home them.

Or maybe At Home with the Braithwaits?

CatamaranViper · 25/04/2025 22:23

I'm 99% sure a cat smothered a baby in either Footballers Wives or Bad Girls back in the day (based off an old wives tale) and it's made people paranoid.

OP, you know your cats. If they are highly strung and ready to attack, then you probably should re-home them.

homeedmam · 25/04/2025 22:21

This wasn't something that worried me personally, my cat never showed any interest in going near the baby.
Have your cats tried to get in with the baby or have they ever been aggressive?

ilovemyfriends · 25/04/2025 22:20

I am pretty relaxed about most things but I definitely wouldn’t leave a baby unattended with a cat on the loose. They are very agile and could harm the baby if it jumped into area where baby is.

WhatDidIComeInThisRoomFor · 25/04/2025 22:18

YANBU. Could you get a cat net to put over the Moses basket / pram / cot? That solved the problem of trying to herd cats out of a room.

Inbloom123 · 25/04/2025 22:15

OP you are absolutely in the right. It’s one thing to pop out of the room v v quickly, but not to wash the dishes. Can’t he put the cats in another room? I totally agree with you.

RedHelenB · 25/04/2025 22:14

Our cats were fine with the baby. Didn't go near. However if the moses basket wax empty they sometimes tried to sneak in.
Honestly, I don't think as negligent as you think OP.

Gettingbysomehow · 25/04/2025 22:14

Well this is it. Cats can bite if they feel threatened and sepsis can occur very quickly. I love cats but this is just so negligent.

Stripeyanddotty · 25/04/2025 22:11

Our neighbour’s cat jumped into her newborn baby’s Moses basket. His face and eye were very badly scratched and he was bitten on the arm.
She was absolutely devastated.

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