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Original poster

DH putting his foot in it with remark about my friend

196 replies

RockingOverTheWorld · 25/04/2025 21:45

My DH is a wonderful man but has a bit of a habit of inappropriate comments.

His latest ‘effort’ is a step too far and he has a sulk on for me pulling him up on it. So, I’d welcome the collective wisdom of MumsNet to reassure me that I’m right to say he has crossed a line…

My bestie has a new partner - she’s a lovely, caring lady but a self confessed chatter box. We all met up last night for dinner. On the way home, DH and I were discussing what we thought of her new man and both said he seemed really nice, but that he struggled to get much of a word in sat next to my friend.

DH said ‘do you know what I would do to shut her up?’, I obviously said - go on…

His reply - ‘stick my cock in her mouth’

Totally inappropriate regarding a friend IMO, and I told him as much. He has mentioned it to me this evening and thought I should have laughed it off, and is sulking because I’ve stuck to my initial stance.

Am I becoming prudish or was that a shitty comment?

OP posts:
cadburyegg · 25/04/2025 22:45

That’s absolutely fucking grim

SalmonEile · 25/04/2025 22:34

Does he want your friend to suck his cock?
hes told you he’d stick his cock in your friends mouth..?

would you joke with him about shoving one of your tits in his friends mouth?

butterdish93 · 25/04/2025 22:33

He’s not a wonderful man

SheridansPortSalut · 25/04/2025 22:31

Tell your friend and let her decide if it's funny.

BatchCookBabe · 25/04/2025 22:30

Agree with the majority. What a hideous, grim, foul pig he sounds. Nasty as fuck.

I couldn't stay married to him. He's middle aged isn't he? (In his 40s or 50s?)

Drearycommuter · 25/04/2025 22:29

My ex said a lot of rude and offensive but funny things. It’s partly what made me love him.

so if we’d have been having a very silly drunken chat where this was in keeping with the whole vibe, then fine. But that circumstance is quite specific and very rare.

but in most circumstances this would bum me out.

FOJN · 25/04/2025 22:27

RockingOverTheWorld · 25/04/2025 22:07

To clarify the ‘squash’ comment wasn’t about this friend, he always get along with and respects her. He just went a step too far last night.

If that's what he's says when he "respects" someone how awful is he when he doesn't.

Lostcat · 25/04/2025 22:27

It’s a disgustingly misogynistic thing for him to say full stop. It’s not about her being a friend, it’s about the fact that he’s joking about that at all. Disgusting.

LoveIndubitably · 25/04/2025 22:27

In what way is it "obvious" that he wouldn't rape someone?

The fact it even crossed his mind is sick.

I assume there are people or beings he doesn't joke about raping - so why draw the line at them and not a woman acquaintance?

Mrsdyna · 25/04/2025 22:24

I swear I've seen a variation of this post several times this week.

CannotWaitForSummervibes · 25/04/2025 22:23

Sorry op, your husband is vile.

KilkennyCats · 25/04/2025 22:22

Some people’s bar for “wonderful” is astonishingly low.

SoMauveMonty · 25/04/2025 22:19

A pp referenced the Inbetweeners - yes it's the sort of comment a daft teenage boy might make. Coming from a grow man though, grim. Of all the jokes he could have made that's where his brain went, sticking his cock in her mouth.
Just yuck.

nomas · 25/04/2025 22:19

Not only does he have sexual thoughts about friend, he was happy pretty much much let you know it, and be a sexist dickhead as well.

What a disgusting pig of a man.

MoominMai · 25/04/2025 22:19

JoshLymanSwagger · 25/04/2025 21:48

You do realise he's joking, right?

Yeah Einstein of course she does. Her whole post though is she finds it’s crude, gross and strange and not what she personally considers appropriate humour 🙄

SheridansPortSalut · 25/04/2025 22:19

You know that's oral rape, right?

He's actually joking about raping your friend to shut her up.

Please explain how you think he respects her (or you).

TryingToBeHelpful267 · 25/04/2025 22:19

Wow he sounds like a pig. Why would he say that to you as a joke? How could he think you’d find it funny? Really it sounds like he’s a 13 year old boy who thinks he’s talking to another 13 year old boy. Tell your friend and see how she reacts…

DirtyBird · 25/04/2025 22:17

How vulgar

ItGhoul · 25/04/2025 22:17

RockingOverTheWorld · 25/04/2025 21:51

Not as inappropriate, more along the lines of ‘doesn’t she squash him if they have sex’ sort of stuff that would just get an eye roll.

Show quote history

Have you posted about him before? This rings a bell.

Outrageistheopiateofthemasses · 25/04/2025 22:15

Grim

JudgeJ · 25/04/2025 22:14

JoshLymanSwagger · 25/04/2025 21:48

You do realise he's joking, right?

Is that even allowed on MN? Having no sense of humour seems to be a pre-requisite.

MammaTo · 25/04/2025 22:14

RockingOverTheWorld · 25/04/2025 21:51

Not as inappropriate, more along the lines of ‘doesn’t she squash him if they have sex’ sort of stuff that would just get an eye roll.

Show quote history

He sounds like a fucking pig. Good luck with him.

Jiddles · 25/04/2025 22:13

He is not "a wonderful man".

Summerseagull · 25/04/2025 22:13

My husband would never say anything so crude ,or disrespectful to women.
Gosh .. I actually can't imagine being with a man who was like that

SheridansPortSalut · 25/04/2025 22:13

RockingOverTheWorld · 25/04/2025 22:07

To clarify the ‘squash’ comment wasn’t about this friend, he always get along with and respects her. He just went a step too far last night.

He doesn't respect her one tiny bit if he can speak about her like that.

How can you make excuses for him?

This is way worse than you think it is. You're actually being unreasonable for downplaying it, not for pulling him up on it.