Hi there, I just want to get people's opinion on the following situation. It's about my mum. First of all, some background. My mum (55) and I (27) have always been close, especially since I turned around 12 my mum started confiding in me and telling in me a lot of stuff about her and my dad, who is narcissistic. She's had a difficult life as she didn't have much emotional support from her parents growing up. Her mum could be quite cold and harsh to her. My dad is narcissistic as well and can be emotionally abusive as well. Both her mum and my dad can be critical of her. Looking back she told me a lot of stuff I shouldn't have known, especially at such a young age. Since around then we spent a lot of time together, shopping, talking etc until I got married in 2022. I almost always agreed with her on everything, even if she'd have an argument with my brother and I would think she was wrong I would side with her because I felt like I had to. However, ever since I got married in 2022 and moved out I became independent and differences in opinion started arising and I noticed she didn't like me disagreeing with her. I talk to her on the phone (we live 2.5 hours away from each other, in different cities) almost every day and she frequently says something blunt to me that hurts my feelings. She's blunt with me quite a lot. Also, especially since DS was born last year, she's been critical of how we raise him and she's been finding faults and voicing them and offering us no encouragement. I rarely say anything though, because if I call her out on anything she reacts badly. I let a lot of things slide, even if I'm really upset about it, as I don't want her to think I'm criticising her and I don't want her to react badly.
Anyways, so this morning my mum said something about me on the phone that upset me and she said it in front of my son. That upset and annoyed me, and I was fed up to be honest. So, after some pondering, I sent her a message addressing what she said and also how I've found her to be quite critical of how me and my husband are raising our son and how advice is good & appreciated, but I need some encouragement sometimes as I want to hear from her that she thinks I'm being a good mum. I said that if I never hear it from her I then think she might think I'm not a good mum. I was quite diplomatic, like I wasn't rude or anything. Her response was (paraphrasing) that we probably shouldn't call each other and that after hosting our baby's first birthday (the party is on the 4th of May at her house) she is going to remove herself from my life. AIBU to think this is a complete overreaction? Both my brother and husband think so. They're the only people I told so far.