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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to lie about my pasta sauce?

113 replies

TerryHall · 25/04/2025 20:53

DD has a friend whose mum scares the living shit out of me. Perfect house, etc. Always organising wholesome, educational activities for the girls.

DD's friend said to me last week "I love the pasta here. My mum's so pleased I'll eat veg at your house. She says can you text her the recipe".

It's Dolmio with added sweetcorn and peas (yeah, grim, I know).

AIBU to say it's secret recipe of my nan's so I can't possibly tell her?

OP posts:
Iloveyoubut · 25/04/2025 21:28

TerryHall · 25/04/2025 21:00

Thanks all.

Thing is, I suspect she's a "no processed food" type (although don't know that for sure). I feel like this is my ONE TRIUMPH (she's always the one doing all the home baking and nature walks), and I'm going to have to give away that it's a fake 😩

I feel like you’d look a bit daft and a lot worse for refusing to share a ‘secret recipe’ than just saying it’s a jar. I’d honesty think someone was batshit for refusing to share a secret pasta sauce recipe under those circumstances tbh. If she looks down her nose at you she’s an arse. Just own it, honestly, if she said it was a jar to you and was laughing about it, bet you wouldn’t think twice about it because she’d probably be totally confident telling you! X

BoldBlueZebra · 25/04/2025 21:27

TerryHall · 25/04/2025 21:25

Excellent point - it's probably the sugar and salt making it so tasty - so I can pretend those are my secret ingredients. If they're added from scratch, they're fair game, right?

Show quote history

Yep totally fair game, but I would totally own the fact it’s dolmio tomato based sauces are not just convenient they are also one of the least processed ‘convenience’ foods because they are so basic

Goldengirl123 · 25/04/2025 21:27

I do jt all of the time 😂😂. Just look up a recipe and send it to her. It will never be as good as yours!!

Arancia · 25/04/2025 21:27

You could tell her that it's just tomato sauce with vegetables. You don't have to specify what "tomato sauce" is, exactly.

Leafy3 · 25/04/2025 21:26

Yanbu - secret recipe it all the way

gamerchick · 25/04/2025 21:25

Give her the ingredients on the dolmeo jar and the stuff you add. Say you stick a pinch of sugar in or something.

Original poster
TerryHall · 25/04/2025 21:25

BoldBlueZebra · 25/04/2025 21:23

basically the jar sauce is made like this- Use oil to sauté onions and garlic, add tinned toms, tomato purée, sugar and salt, wang in parsley and basil and cook gently, if you fancy a bit of random mystery herb chuck a bit of aromat in there - I’ve no idea what natural flavouring is

Excellent point - it's probably the sugar and salt making it so tasty - so I can pretend those are my secret ingredients. If they're added from scratch, they're fair game, right?

OP posts:
BoldBlueZebra · 25/04/2025 21:23

basically the jar sauce is made like this- Use oil to sauté onions and garlic, add tinned toms, tomato purée, sugar and salt, wang in parsley and basil and cook gently, if you fancy a bit of random mystery herb chuck a bit of aromat in there - I’ve no idea what natural flavouring is

Notsosure1 · 25/04/2025 21:20

Yeah I’d be pretty suspicious. If she’s so ‘wholesome’ she probably suspects it’s not homemade and wants to find out what you’re feeding her daughter. It may be legit, who knows.

GoldPoster · 25/04/2025 21:19

I was on holiday in Italy and called into a small village store to buy some bread and cheese for lunch. The Italian man in front of me in the queue was buying some dried pasta and a jar of Dolmio, so you’re in good company.

Original poster
TerryHall · 25/04/2025 21:18

Right - thank you all for the replies. You're excellent sports, and many of you also up for some petty deceit - special thanks to you.

I may use the vague "tomato" base line, or I might get over myself and be honest. Either way, you're all ace - thanks again.

OP posts:
Mauro711 · 25/04/2025 21:15

TerryHall · 25/04/2025 21:11

How about I send her this recipe (from the jar)...?

Tomatoes (83%), Double Concentrated Tomato Paste (7.0%), Onion, Modified Maize Starch, Sugar, Salt, Sunflower Oil, Basil, Garlic, Acidity Regulator (Citric Acid), Parsley, Spice, Natural Flavouring, Herb

WTF is "herb"? It sounds illegal

It’s short for Herbert. He works on the production line, sometimes a bit of Herb is included by accident.

onetwothreefourfive11 · 25/04/2025 21:14

No you can’t send that 😂😂
that’s clearly of the back of the jar

Zippidydoodah · 25/04/2025 21:13

🤣 @ “herb”! Maybe best keep that bit quiet! 😜 😂

Original poster
TerryHall · 25/04/2025 21:11

How about I send her this recipe (from the jar)...?

Tomatoes (83%), Double Concentrated Tomato Paste (7.0%), Onion, Modified Maize Starch, Sugar, Salt, Sunflower Oil, Basil, Garlic, Acidity Regulator (Citric Acid), Parsley, Spice, Natural Flavouring, Herb

WTF is "herb"? It sounds illegal

OP posts:
Mauro711 · 25/04/2025 21:11

Here you go, a delicious tomato sauce antoniocarlucciofoundation.org/recipe/tomato-sauce/

MissAnthr0pe · 25/04/2025 21:10

My mother is a great from-scratch cook but she can never produce a recipe! She cooks from intuition and memory. You could say something along these lines?

Sayithowiseeit · 25/04/2025 21:10

I'd tell her you use a tomato base, and then add what veg you have to it, and that you don't follow a recipe and make it up as you go along

I do bake, I'm a good baker. But I can't for the life of me bake brownies perfectly.

My DC school think my brownies are amazing, and they are because they come from a packet, I just add butter and eggs 🤣🤣

WhySoManySocks · 25/04/2025 21:08

Kids always eat stuff at friends’ houses that they wouldn’t touch at home. You can send her any recipe at all cause her DD won’t eat it at home anyway 🤷‍♀️

Zippidydoodah · 25/04/2025 21:07

Hi friend’s mum! My pasta is just a basic marinara/tomato sauce with basil, garlic etc, with added peas and sweetcorn. Enjoy!

Outrageistheopiateofthemasses · 25/04/2025 21:05

If she is as you describe, she is likely to harshly judge the UPF/ Dolmio. I would just send her a link to an internet recipe for a similar (in terms of overall flavours) sauce. Then explain that you broadly follow it but add in whatever veg you have available that day, so it's not always the same.

RipleyJones · 25/04/2025 21:05

TheCurious0range · 25/04/2025 21:04

It's a joke....

The whole thread is clearly light-hearted

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Ok..

TheCurious0range · 25/04/2025 21:04

RipleyJones · 25/04/2025 21:04

Bit sad that

Show quote history

It's a joke....

The whole thread is clearly light-hearted

Original poster
TerryHall · 25/04/2025 21:04

TheCurious0range · 25/04/2025 21:02

Just send her a recipe from BBC good food, and say you throw in extra peas and sweetcorn, just shrug when she says her daughter says it doesn't taste the same as yours

But maybe some obscure artisan Italian website, rather than BBC Good Food?

OP posts:
RipleyJones · 25/04/2025 21:04

TheCurious0range · 25/04/2025 21:02

Just send her a recipe from BBC good food, and say you throw in extra peas and sweetcorn, just shrug when she says her daughter says it doesn't taste the same as yours

Bit sad that