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Original poster

After work...

59 replies

proximalhumerous · 25/04/2025 16:52

If a friend invited you over "after work" and neither of you had a 9-5 job (I mainly work school hours and he finishes around 8 or 9pm), should it be obvious what time they expect you? Especially if they don't want you to come straight from work as it's too early and they actually have the day off anyway. And would you be annoyed if you tried to clarify when they meant and they just repeated "after work" and then went silent?

OP posts:
BIWI · 25/04/2025 17:59

Yes, actually. As you were rude to me to start with. HTH.

Lisaps · 25/04/2025 17:58

BIWI · 25/04/2025 17:57

stop trying to infantise people trying to smart or popular on a forum.

And again, in English?

And again you’re a dick. For your reference English isn’t my first language. Did you mean to be so rude?

ginasevern · 25/04/2025 17:58

Why are you even friends with him? He's sarcastic, sounds pretty unpleasant and is treating you like a fool. You also don't fancy him (hardly surprising). What am I missing here?

BIWI · 25/04/2025 17:57

stop trying to infantise people trying to smart or popular on a forum.

And again, in English?

Lisaps · 25/04/2025 17:56

BIWI · 25/04/2025 17:55

Then perhaps adults should behave and communicate like adults. By using their words.

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And perhaps adults shouldn’t be twats using phrases like “use your words” stop trying to infantise people by trying to be smart or popular on a forum.

BIWI · 25/04/2025 17:55

Lisaps · 25/04/2025 17:54

I am absolutely sick of seeing this trotted out on here. This is a site for adults, adults don’t need to be treated like children for goodness sake and told to “use your words”. Why not just say ask him instead of being a twat?

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Then perhaps adults should behave and communicate like adults. By using their words.

Wishimaywishimight · 25/04/2025 17:54

proximalhumerous · 25/04/2025 17:03

I did "use my words", but all I got back was sarcastic replies (including a repetition of "after work") and then he stopped responding.

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He sounds like a pain in the arse - rude and sarcastic. I would ignore and make other plans. 'Friends' do not treat friends this way.

Lisaps · 25/04/2025 17:54

BIWI · 25/04/2025 16:58

Goodness - just use your words!

I am absolutely sick of seeing this trotted out on here. This is a site for adults, adults don’t need to be treated like children for goodness sake and told to “use your words”. Why not just say ask him instead of being a twat?

Original poster
proximalhumerous · 25/04/2025 17:52

BoredZelda · 25/04/2025 17:50

I’d say ask after your work or mine. You have different work times.

That's exactly what I asked and he said, "yours, obvs", but omitted to specify a time.

OP posts:
Original poster
proximalhumerous · 25/04/2025 17:51

Crunchymum · 25/04/2025 17:21

Are you a namechanger who has posted before about a one sided / "he calls, you go running" type friendship?

The tone sounds familiar.

I have posted about him before, yes, although it was ages ago - during Covid, I think.

OP posts:
BoredZelda · 25/04/2025 17:50

I’d say ask after your work or mine. You have different work times.

Arlanymor · 25/04/2025 17:49

proximalhumerous · 25/04/2025 17:49

Oh good grief, we're not dating!

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Oh sorry that was the vibe I got! Sounds like a situation you should let cool then.

Original poster
proximalhumerous · 25/04/2025 17:49

Arlanymor · 25/04/2025 17:11

He sounds a poor communicator and if last minuteness isn’t compatible with how you live your life then maybe he’s not the best match for you? I sympathise, I dated a last minuter back in the day, it was highly frustrating.

Oh good grief, we're not dating!

OP posts:
Dweetfidilove · 25/04/2025 17:48

I trust you're not in a relationship with this toddler ☹️?

Feelthesunswarmth · 25/04/2025 17:44

Do you really want to have anything to do with a man who doesn't like cats?

ForOliveMember · 25/04/2025 17:39

Why can't you both communicate properly? I don't understand. He's said to come after you finish work, but then said not straight after work as its too early?!

Idontjetwashthefucker · 25/04/2025 17:33

Coconutter24 · 25/04/2025 17:27

I would just suggest a time “is 6pm ok?”

I would also just suggest a time "fucking never"

Why are you wasting time on this bellend?

Hillarious · 25/04/2025 17:32

Why not pick the phone and actually speak to him?

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 25/04/2025 17:31

proximalhumerous · 25/04/2025 17:03

I did "use my words", but all I got back was sarcastic replies (including a repetition of "after work") and then he stopped responding.

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He sounds like a twat.

WilfredsPies · 25/04/2025 17:29

Surely the point of spending time with someone is that they are nice to you and they make you feel good?

Is this man nice to you? Does he make you feel good? Because inviting you over at the last minute implies he’s just bored with nothing better to do and the way you’ve said he talks to you makes him sound like a bit of a dick.

ETA I’d be inclined to consider ‘after work’ as when hell freezes over.

Coconutter24 · 25/04/2025 17:27

I would just suggest a time “is 6pm ok?”

DenholmElliot11 · 25/04/2025 17:27

Fuck me do you two even even enjoy spending an evening in each others company? I really couldnt be arsed withvthat shit.

Crunchymum · 25/04/2025 17:21

Are you a namechanger who has posted before about a one sided / "he calls, you go running" type friendship?

The tone sounds familiar.

AllYouGottaDoIsJustMeetMeAtTheApt · 25/04/2025 17:18

S0j0urn4r · 25/04/2025 17:16

After the way he responded I don't think I'd want to spend time with him anyway. Sounds like a twat tbh.

Yes, this.

S0j0urn4r · 25/04/2025 17:16

After the way he responded I don't think I'd want to spend time with him anyway. Sounds like a twat tbh.