To wish people wouldn't judge/grill people who don't drive

People will always form opinions of others based on what they know of them. That is their right and it would be kind of stupid not to. It doesn't make much sense to say they shouldn't.

Also, the reality of it is that people who don't drive often put a burden on those around them. To some extent, they require others to cater to them, if they live in an area where a car is a necessity. The burden can be giving them rides, or limiting where and when they can arrive anywhere based on public transportation schedules etc.

I'd also wager that if you can learn to drive but don't, they likely to find you a bit self-limited. But I don't think anyone would find it interesting enough for a long talk about. For example, your post about your long history of why you don't drive was too much to wade through.

But instead of worrying about what other people should or shouldn't think, I'd either (1) Learn to drive, if it's still feasible. Or (2) Come up with a very short, standard reason to tell people, if the topic comes up. That gets the conversation out of the way succinctly, without embarrassing you or boring them. Good luck.

It is not a ‘privilege’ to not be able to drive. 🤔You need to be clear of seizures for a year to be able to drive.

Epilepsy can begin at any time. Yes, adult onset epilepsy is a thing! Anyone on this thread could have their first seizure tomorrow, then have tests and be diagnosed with epilepsy. No more driving for you until you have, via trial and error, found a medication that satisfactorily controls your seizures without side effects…

People have caused fatal car accidents due to having a seizure while driving.

Some people can’t drive. A little bit of imagination as to why, would go a long way.

Cracks me out when people say stuff like this. "A privilege not to be able to drive". I can't drive. Not as in "I can't do it" - as in, l do not meet the legal requirements to hold a driving license. I have a visual processing disorder. Its not just slow visual processing, my brain actually processes spatial information incorrectly, often backwards. I've adjusted to it my everyday life and its not a huge problem day to day, but I'm fairly sure its not a privilige.

I’m 37 and don’t drive, I’ve recently moved to zone 6 London and only feeling social pressure to learn because all the mums drive. Tbh driving with a baby would be a pain as I’d be waking them all the time to get in and out of the car, surely this would affect naps. I just slap on the sling and go, no disturbing her to faff around with a car seat/ pram. She hates the car seat anyway.

I don’t care if people drive or not, but I’m not one of those who likes to feel superior, that’s probably why.

I don't drive. Never had the slightest interest in it. Don't like it, find it both frightening and boring at the same time which is a toxic combination. I've tried to learn a couple of times, I'm very bad at it and it's very expensive so I haven't prioritised it. I have also lived for my entire adult life in various cities with good transport where driving is an expensive waste of time.

I also have a good job and a happy family and manage my life and have fun so I really couldn't give a flying fuck if anyone judges me for not driving.

I don't drive. Failed test once. Think about pursuing it again from time to time but things like the enormous backlogs for tests, Covid, put me off.

Now mid 40s. I wasn't supported to learn as a youngster - my mum refused to take me out in her car to practice, and whether she meant to or not, made me feel that it was something I was going to fuck up royally. I was also in two car accidents when younger - one was as serious as it could be short of me actually dying and I wonder whether that has had any effect on my reluctance to drive. Because of an existing condition, I could only drive an automatic, which I found was limiting in terms of finding instructors.

I don't expect lifts from anyone. I've worked all over the UK and internationally, have no difficulty in navigating my way from A to B on public transport. Despite this, many people treat non-driving as evidence of failure to launch. When I graduated from university with a high first a few years ago, rather than simple, straightforward congratulations, I got comments about ".... but she still can't drive!!"

Non-driving seems to be one of those issues that allows people to sneer at others.

We need a percentage of the population to not drive FFS - how on earth would all those cars fit on the road if everyone did?
Mass transport is better for the environment plus a lot of people could not afford to run a car these days.
If you live in London you’re probably fine not having a car/not driving.

If he's got 2 arms and 2 legs I'd expect him to drive

Going to contact the DVLA and tell them they should give me my licence back because I have 2 arms and 2 legs and that's the only reason you might not be able to drive.

It is not a privilege not to be able to drive. It's limiting, frustrating and embarrassing.

How is that a privilege? Where you live could have good public transport and still not be a desirable place to live.

It really isn't if you're never going to use it, and I say that as a driver.

But that's looking at perfect world scenario which we don't have. IF we had a far better, cheaper, more reliable and more comprehensive public transport system, then we can start to think of reducing car use. Until that day dawns, the majority of people have genuine reasons for needing a car and to drive.

Nail on the head.

If you don’t need to drive, fine.
What is frustrating is when people who can’t drive moan about how they can’t fulfil basic life commitments like getting to work, or taking their kids to school because they have moved to a village in the arse end of nowhere without thinking about it.

I think I'd worry more about services being cut, buses or trains running late or not turning up. Happens a lot where I live. A car is just right there at your door.

Oh the pun, steer clear

I passed my driving test recently in my early 30s. I did live in a city with good transport but even then there was issues with needing to go to the hospital or places urgently. It was a bit extra faff.

I moved to a ruralish area and was very isolated, I did have to rely on family and it was awful.

I wish I had learnt years ago. I have freedom and a lot less anxiety

The short version of your post might be ‘it has never been a priority to learn and I prefer to use public transport’. Nothing wrong with that. Far too many cars on the roads.

I wouldn’t be in a relationship with someone who didn’t drive. I live in a village/town not a city. No way would I be the one responsible for all the running around/kids to school and activities/never being able to have a drink when out etc. If he’s got 2 arms and 2 legs I’d expect him to drive. Even people with missing limbs drive.

I got my license in my early 30s and mostly because I moved and I really needed a car for work (I would have had to get a train and then a bus taking over an hour as opposed to a 35min drive & free parking onsite - I'm a teacher ). I was terrified! I'm still a nervous driver. It does give me some freedom but I'm too scared to drive places and routes I don't know so even though I have my car I'm still a bit stuck at times. My husband does most of the driving. That said with 2 kids at least I can get them in the car and drive to various parks, friends houses, shops etc so it is very handy to have. You've put so much work in already OP, it probably wouldn't take you long to get it but I see your point id you live in the city and wouldn't use it much then it may end up being an added expense you don't need. Maybe get the licence but not the car. You can always do a quick refresher if and when you decide to buy a car plus automatic cars are v popular now and more straightforward to drive.

Also, can you imagine the roads if everyone that doesn’t drive did? It would be carnage! I don’t think the people that are judging you are looking at the big picture.

Personally I think the world would be a much better place if LESS people drove, less traffic, less parked cars taking up the street, improved/more reliable public transport, better for environment etc

I don't drive is a complete answer, no need to explain. I happily judge people who are snotty or weird about it, I don't want to waste my time with people like that.
I've given up using the word can't, as if somehow I'm unable, I'm sure I can if I wanted to do it. It's not difficult

I'm sure there is something they can't do that others can too

No one's business but if asked you could always say it's because of medical reasons. I doubt you'll be pressed further but if you are then a simple "I'd rather not say" would suffice. No need to justify yourself.