To wish people wouldn't judge/grill people who don't drive

Of course but I'd rather be in the comfort of my own car. The point is they want people to drive less and use public transport but at the same time services are being cut and lots of services run late or dont turn up. Like I said my car is just right there to jump into. So I will keep driving for as long as I can for an easier life.

But won’t cars get caught up in that same jam? And a lot of major roads have specific bus lanes to minimise the effects of traffic jams.

Why are you telling the OP this?

Well trains no but buses will still get caught up in jams. I know several colleagues who commute by train and being late for work happens a lot more often than they would like. The alternative is a train that would make them far too early.

Yes that's it, you dont miss what you've never had. I would miss driving. The idea of standing at a bus stop in the pouring rain, bus running late or not turning up, full of people coughing and sneezing, dirty seats, not being able to adjust the temperature, bus pulling away when an elderly person hasnt got settled in their seat, never knowing who else will be on the bus or who will sit next to you, lugging heavy bags of shopping from the bus stop to my house. I would hate it now that I've spent 20 odd years jumping straight into a comfy clean car.

I can completely understand if someone was used to driving and then for some reason they can't anymore would be restricted as they are used to planning their lives around driving. But someone who has never driven plans their lives around not driving and using public transport/ walking, we don't miss it because we don't know any different.

Yes but that lifestyle change to help with climate change is a big change. Would need lots of local butchers, bakers, greengrocers to open near to where people live so we can go back to small regular shopping to avoid needing a car or home delivery service from supermarkets. Would need more clothes and home shops to open back up again to move away from online shopping which of course needs vans to deliver everything. I cant see it happening tbh. Population is just so big and getting bigger.

I passed my test first time, 40 years ago, but do not drive.

Every time I get behind the wheel it gets into my brain that I could kill someone. I'm not a good driver. So I just don't do it. Never had any issues as the choices I have made, in my life, for me, have meant no need to drive.

It's sometimes awkward with non drivers. When you are going somewhere together. You may be "happy" to get public transport but they also happily accept the lift somewhere. It's mean to not offer a lift and just get in your car and go. I know it shouldn't be my problem but it feels rude.

YANBU. I don't drive and I pride myself on being able to get any where I need to go without a car. Even if it means a train, taxi and then a walk. I like public transport for the most part, love walking and hate asking for favours from other people so I'm not the type to ever ask for lifts.

I do judge people who don't drive and then expect colleagues or friends who do drive to be their personal chauffeur.

I don't drive and I don't care what other people think honestly. I grew up without a car and I get on fine with public transport. I don't ask for lifts and I'm happy to walk most places.

But if you ever do decide to go back and learn, you might find it easier to go for automatic only licence. Electric cars are all this set up so it's moving that way (says a person who has never driven one!)

I've known a few older learners find this easier.

You don't have to justify why you don't drive. When people ask me I just say, no I don't drive 🤷‍♀️
I actually didn't grow up with a car so I don't know any different.
I actually think it's more selfish to drive everywhere, especially those who drive to local shops, school, dog walk etc when they're more than capable of walking. We need less cars on the roads not more.
A large percentage of people are just snobby about public transport.

Owning a car and keeping it on the road has become massively expensive so even if you did learn, in your circumstances I can't see car ownership being worth it.

I think people's attitude's to driving are often shaped by when they passed their test.

Those who do it at 17 have always enjoyed the convenience. Those who are a bit later learn other ways round it. I was 26 and the public transport oracle for our city. Friends used to phone me to ask what bus to get.

Now I live in rural Scotland so driving is more essential. That said my husband didn't pass his test until he was 37 and he's lived here all his life. He worked locally and is a very fast walker who would think nothing of four miles on foot. He was learning at 17 but was a passenger in a serious accident and never went back afterwards.

Driving is very handy but it's also not for everyone. If anyone asks just make up a default answer you are happy with e.g 'oh it's just not worth the cost of owning a car in London'.

This. It really depends where you live surely. Where I live it would be insanely difficult to manage life without a car but in London it's normal not to own a car.

Can I also say that what drives me INSANE is my FIL and others making jibes about ‘expensive taxis’ (maybe 2-3 £8 Ubers a week) when I am not paying for, insuring, paying tax on and buying petrol for a car. But it’s because cars come from the ‘essentials’ bit of his head and the taxis are in the ‘luxury’ bit. And I can’t change that.

I am glad I passed because I do actually quite like driving on quiet, rural roads. And if we holiday in very rural places (we both love hiking) I am happy to take my share of that. But there are no circumstances that will see me behind the wheel on the M25 or North Circular 😓

OP I know exactly how you feel. As many other posters have said, a lot of it is because if you have always driven then you can’t imagine life without it - then it becomes a ‘vital life skill’ in their minds. And you tend then to build a life that requires driving. If you never have driven then you will have naturally picked children’s schools, clubs, workplace, home etc on the basis of managing without.

I have formally diagnosed dyspraxia with poor co-ordination and sensory processing. Like you I tried at 17, again in my mid 20s with no success. I finally passed on an automatic last summer but I am a bad and nervous driver and find merging/ big roundabouts/ motorways etc totally impossible. I have made my peace with this, despite many many comments that I need to ‘get on with it’. I can take the children to school, church, swimming etc in the car and do the supermarket run, but if I need to cross the country then I will go on the train!

Like many other non drivers on this thread I am urban by preference, walk everywhere in all weathers and have perfected getting to anywhere via a combo of buses, trains and (if needed) a quick uber. It works for me because I have always done it (and my DC are used to it also). My DH is an excellent and keen driver.

I genuinely never ask for lifts.

I think the insistence that driving is essential is not an older person's viewpoint but the viewpoint of everyone who doesn't live in a city or who lives somewhere with poor public transport. DD is the only one of her school friendship group who doesn't drive.

Our MP is lobbying for an improved rail service so that we get half hourly trains instead of hourly, but it will cost over £300m to upgrade the line from single track to double track.

There isn't even a direct bus service to the next village or to the hospital from our village. To get to either involves getting a bus into town and one out again. Obviously, it's doable but very time consuming.

To get to work I would need to get two trains and a bus, taking nearly 2 hours. Driving takes about 40 minutes.

We live where we do because I can drive.

That's not privilege. I'm not lucky to live somewhere with good public transport, I chose it deliberately. Privilege is more like having the money to buy and maintain a car. I didn't take driving lessons as a teenager as I couldn't afford them, then at no point in my 20s could I have afforded a car so there was no point shelling out for lessons.

In my 40s and yet to get into a situation where I wished I could drive. It's really not that important a life skill. I have noticed people sometimes make comments about "needing" to drive distances that I wouldn't think twice about walking.

I don't drive and we don't have a car we never ask for lifts and manage perfectly well, why is it assumed all non drivers ask for lifts?

Of course it can be too late! Who's gonna pay for all my driving lessons? Who will buy me a car, pay for my petrol, ongoing upkeep etc? I don't have that money at this stage of my life. I can't even afford my mortgage. Definitely too late for me.
I hate not driving, but I've made my peace with it because there's nothing I can do to change it. Even if I got a license now I wouldn't be able to afford a car.
It IS too late to learn now.

I think it's fine not to drive,however when DC arrive it is difficult. I learned in my early 20s,but gave up as found gears difficult. In my 30s passed with a excellent instructor about my age ,female got on great. Like going out with a friend really. It's a good skill t have. We live south coast big prosperous seaside town .no users though,buses are not great. Big cities are usually fine

I think the insistence that driving is essential is an older person's viewpoint, particularly those who haven't quite grasped the seriousness of the climate crisis and the damaging effects of pollution. Also it reflects the rise in selfish individualism of the last few decades. My 20 year old never intends to learn to drive because they can see it's not sustainable for everyone to be driving about in our own personal cars despite the effects on the planet.
I can drive fine but increasingly choosing not to, the same A plenty choose not to fly. If we want to avoid climate breakdown we're all going to have to make lifestyle changes.

This. I couldnt give a flying toss if someone drives or not, its none of my business and it wouldnt even register in my brain as anything worthy of judgement or even of interest.

What is my business though is if they are constantly expecting or feeling entitled to lifts everywhere and I have had that multiple times with people at work, friends, or aquaintances. I dont care that you dont drive but dont expect me to be your unpaid taxi driver and we're all good.

I find it very weird that people are so weird about driving. I can drive, but I didn't learn until 30 (now mid-40s) and I'd really rather not drive - I don't particularly enjoy it and I know I'm not the best driver. (I'm cautious, people don't like it.)

People saying it's a life skill and you're limited without driving have clearly never lived in a city. You can get everywhere you need to go by public transport or taxi in London, and many other big cities too. The train is better for long journeys, I hate motorway and night driving and would far rather take a bit longer to get somewhere and not have to drive.

The only person I ever asked for lifts was my dad, before I left home. Something I did notice though, was that people offered you lifts and then were astounded/almost offended when you didn't take them.