To wish people wouldn't judge/grill people who don't drive

Because us saying no thanks is met with anger - and then insist it makes their point we should drive as their manufactored situation proves it a problem.

Frankly a lot of the comment on here sort of prove people have an issue with non drivers.

If you want to go somewhere that require driving fair enough - but if non driver you know don't want to with you that should also be fine.

This morning I wanted to go to IKEA, I got ready, left when I wanted and checked train/bus timetable to see which was the most convenient in that moment, it was bus so I walked 15’ and hopped on, if I’d left 5 mins earlier it would’ve been train. People who don’t drive don’t sit around all day because the world is inaccessible. We just get on with it 😂

And this idea of if you have an licence you have anbs freedom,even that’s only if you own a car, which is not necessarily financially viable for many.

Friend of mine can drive and has done for many years but doesn’t own a car, we had a “on street” car rental service so she could book a car (still, wasn’t unusual for there to not be one locally or had to pay extra to reserve earlier) and they’ve now taken that away so she can drive but does not have access to a car.

A driving license is fuck all use if you don’t have access to a car.

Though I do find it irriating when people ignore 5-10 easy to get to places and insit on meeting at most obscure and hard to get to places- often it's not as special as made out - few times it has been have been pleased we made the effort - but sometime think it's some drivers making a point and being dicks and they do get upset when you know it's not worth the hassle and decline.

The reverse of this from a drivers point of view is that its soooo annoying when the same old boring easy town centre places are suggested over and over again. Places that are a bit off the beaten track often ARE a bit special, they have to be to exist & survive because they can't rely on footfall in a busy location, they have to be a destination in themselves. Most people who drive are used to picking somewhere purely based on how good it is, travel considerations don't come into it, so its annoying when you feel you must rule out somewhere lovely because someone's complicated public transport timetable has to limit your choice.

Why would people be dicks and make a point? When you are driving the easy to get to by public transport places are just as easy as anywhere else to drive to. If somewhere's great AND close to a station then its as likely to be chosen as somewhere that's great and not near public transport.

Nope. I own sustainable woodland among other things. My foot print will be less than the majority of people on here and I drive around in a Land Rover.

Nope. I have an electric car and everyone who lives in a home creates pollution and waste of some kind so I dont see why it's only down to me to feel guilty about this. By this rationale, everyone who ever goes by plane anywhere on holiday should feel hugely guilty.

I think car drivers have a different definition of what it means to go somewhere whenever you want. For a non driver there is checking timetables, waiting for the next bus or train, possibly having to wait for multiple buses or trains depending on where your going. For a car driver that isnt the definition of going somewhere whenever you want. You jump in your car when you fancy. Your not restricted by timetables.

No...it means people chose to move to places that have good transport and think about it when they apply for jobs. I have a number of friends who don't drive. They live in a very flat part of the country with decent public transport and cycle. They've taught their kids well so they cycle together to places. They made sure they live / work in a place and with distances that are manageable. I drive everywhere but I get why they like their choice.

Re privilege - posters being smug about not driving probably live somewhere with good public transport. It is irritating that city dwellers seem to be unaware of just how unreliable public transport is outside of towns and cities.

This. We had dinner with a friend once. Got to the end of the meal and got up to leave. Ended up having to agree we'd hang around another 40 mins because felt bad leaving non driving friend sat on her own becauses buses are only one an hour.

Have had many other similar situations eg no bus running after 9pm, uber has no drivers anywhere near you.

Something I did notice though, was that people offered you lifts and then were astounded/almost offended when you didn't take them.

It can feel like you can't win turn them down they get offended - or when you haven't asked or expected having to listen to reasons why they can't help you - or giving in and then finding they take you somewhere else - as they insist it's better for you or more convinet for them.

Last one I really hate - my family used to do this - take me to a different station with three young kids - no idea about travel and having to buy more tickets.

That why I generally hate lifts.

Though I do find it irriating when people ignore 5-10 easy to get to places and insit on meeting at most obscure and hard to get to places- often it's not as special as made out - few times it has been have been pleased we made the effort - but sometime think it's some drivers making a point and being dicks and they do get upset when you know it's not worth the hassle and decline.

Well, quite.

I passed my test at 39. Up until that point I had no issues at all being a non-driver. I'd spent most of my life living in London where I had access to excellent public transport. For some time I worked for TfL as well, so I didn't even need to pay for it.

It only became a pressing need after I moved to a completely different part of the country, where public transport isn't as good. I still use it as much as I can, but not driving was hampering my access to the job market. I like driving now, but I found learning a grim experience, and I'd never judge anyone who doesn't bother for whatever reason.

No it probably wouldn’t be but that doesn’t matter because that is one of the ways I choose to make sure my inability to drive affects literally no body

@toomuchchaos I dont feel guilty no. I know when I'm in a busy place there will be noise and pollution.

Do you feel bad about the pollution you're creating for them to breathe in as you drive past waving? That is very destructive to their health?

Do any people who do drive everywhere ever feel guilty about the air pollution and noise pollution they create for pedestrians, cyclists, and people at bus stops etc (who also pay tax towards infrastructure)? Do you wonder if you might share part of the CF label? Just asking as I am learning to drive and it's taking me so long - I feel really guilty at all the air pollution I'm creating solely by being so slow to learn - it's not like my car journeys are even getting me from A to B.

Do you ever ask anybody for a lift anywhere? If not you really aren’t anybody’s business.

I personally however will not ferry people around because they refuse to learn to drive. I’ll give you a nice wave as I drive past you at the bus stop and meet you where we’re going. If you have an issue with this attitude then I suppose we would have a problem.

Oh and all the non drivers I know would say its totally fine, they are happy to use taxis etc, are very good at public transport etc

But then in RL you suggest an interesting restaurant or venue thats not near an easy transport route and you see their face fall trying to work out how long its going to take/cost, then you know they are going to say "hmm shall we got to X instead" and list the same boring town centre place they suggest every time because its easy & cheap to get to.

Or they pull that cats bum face towards the end of the evening when they need to ring a taxi, & hesitate over doing it for ages while muttering about the cost and how there'll be a half hour wait, you just get that vibe they are hoping some one will offer a lift.

Then some poor sod feels guilty after they've said it'll take ages for a taxi to come yet haven't actually rung one and you are all about to leave and mutters "oh Laura....you'll be waiting ages, do you want a lift"... and they beam and say "oh are you sure yes actually that would be lovely".

I've learned to tune out the negative Nellies. I really can't be bothered with what anyone else thinks.

In my case I can drive in ANY other country except this one. I maintain a US driving license which I have had since the age of 16 and that gives me driving privileges everywhere I travel. DH has a UK license but we choose not to own a car because we live in a city centre and get to everything on foot or by bus. We have probably saved tens of thousands of pounds in the 15 years we have not had to run a car.

I think there's only really judgement when either:

• its life limiting for the person, and they have the means to learn but aren't. E.g being limited from taking a better paid job (or any job) because reliant on very specific/limited public transport options
• they are very reliant on a spouse/partner who drives them a lot of the time
• they regularly have to decline things (or have a limited range of places they are willing to meet up) because public transport would be too difficult/costly/time consuming

I think when you live in cities its rarely an issue

I can drive, but it took me 6 attempts (over a period of years) to pass my test.
I don't have great night vision, even with corrective lenses and like you have poor spatial awareness. I have chosen not to drive since lockdown as I find it too stressful and consider I present a danger.

I don't ask for lifts and will make my own way to places wherever possible.

Ok yes a taxi makes things much easier for you, a person driving a car taking you to where you need to go. Without the taxi it wouldnt be so easy.

Well indeed I am already on the insurance however. If I had to I’d wear my glasses obviously.

I get that some people genuinely can't drive for medical reasons but my issue with bin drivers (some, not all), isn't just the ones who always expect a lift - in my experience most are good about this - it's in the way so much is limited. As a pp said - its the endless suggestion that it's "easier" to meet near them or on a convenient transport route. It's the places they don't want to go because it's too difficult or expensive to get to by public transport . That's what drives me mad.

No it’s not.

And I can drive!

Don’t be so judgemental and short minded.

They make it so can’t breath though my nose properly. I do have a contact assessment soon though.

Who are all these people giving you the 20 questions OP? And why the need to elaborate/explain if you don't want to?

I'm in my 50s and don't drive (partially sighted though you wouldn't know if you met me). I've honestly never really had people questioning me about it. I just say "I don't drive" if it comes up. Unless you're always trying to get lifts (which you already say you aren't) you're just coming across a lot of nosy rude people!