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Would you do this to ensure your dc could go to a good private school?

91 replies

Greenshoess · 25/04/2025 15:05

I was absolutely sure I wanted DD to go to a private school. With this in mind I saved a lot in the toddler years and with some family help I now have 150k ready to go for her schooling. Her father is on board and ready to pay half the fees on top of maintenance (we are separated).

She is due to start school in September and I am now really itching to use this money to pay off the rest of my mortgage (I owe 200k). I feel tired of work and life in general and just want to go part time which obviously I could do if I got rid of most of the mortgage. The state schools round here aren’t good, there’s no pretending they are and this is making me so conflicted. I guess I’m wondering if people think the sacrifice is worth it, if you did it are you glad you did?

OP posts:
CurlewKate · 25/04/2025 15:18

What do you mean by the schools not being good?

BottleBlondeMachiavelli · 25/04/2025 15:16

Greenshoess · 25/04/2025 15:10

@BottleBlondeMachiavelli 39

Then you have time to fund both.

BottleBlondeMachiavelli · 25/04/2025 15:14

If you’re 50 something, it's more understandable that you’d be worried about the house payment and that you’d be tired and keen to go part time.

Also, if family have contributed to an education fund, you’d need their approval before repurposing that money.

What’s changed your mind? Age and energy?

If her dad is willing to pay half, is there not a happy medium to strike?

Honestly, state for primary and private for secondary is a reasonable compromise.

MorrisonsPlatter · 25/04/2025 15:12

Well you obviously need to discuss it with your ex since he's on-board.

Sofiewoo · 25/04/2025 15:12

I think private school without the personal contacts and lifestyle isn’t that helpful to the majority of children.

Greenshoess · 25/04/2025 15:11

Wardrobehanger · 25/04/2025 15:10

Could you continue saving for her to go private at secondary instead?

@Wardrobehanger yes but the issue is the schools are not great here. I know primary is seen as not too bad even in state but there’s 38 in the class this year which seems absolutely loads to me

OP posts:
Radiatorvalves · 25/04/2025 15:11

If she’s 5 and just starting private you’ve got a long and expensive road ahead. I would go state for primary and see how it goes. You can put a fraction of the money to tuition later if you’re dead set on private secondary. Reducing your mortgage now doesn’t commit you to state longer term.

littlemissprosseco · 25/04/2025 15:10

I’m a believer in there’s two things you give a child that are truly valuable, love and the best education you can.
Whether that’s private or not is up to you!
If by going part time you can spend extra time actively enhancing your child’s outlook on life/ education, by days out and experiences is something only you can decide

Wardrobehanger · 25/04/2025 15:10

Could you continue saving for her to go private at secondary instead?

Greenshoess · 25/04/2025 15:10

BottleBlondeMachiavelli · 25/04/2025 15:10

How old are you?

@BottleBlondeMachiavelli 39

OP posts:
Somethingsnapped · 25/04/2025 15:10

If you went part-time at work, you'd have more time available to 'top up' her education by some extra home-tutoring outside of school hours. Just a thought!

BottleBlondeMachiavelli · 25/04/2025 15:10

How old are you?

MichaelandKirk · 25/04/2025 15:10

Carry on with private school. It gave my children a great start in life.

Rumplestiltz · 25/04/2025 15:08

Pay off the mortgage. Go part time and have the time and energy to support her outside of school with reading and other activities/adventures.

Greenshoess · 25/04/2025 15:08

@Loveautumnhatewinter sadly not as we are close to friends and family here and I wouldn’t want to uproot that for her

OP posts:
Loveautumnhatewinter · 25/04/2025 15:08

I would use that money to move to a nicer area and get her into a decent state school. Is that an option?