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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what is is like to be the new woman

40 replies

Allornothingg · 25/04/2025 12:41

Just that really, my ex and I were together for almost 20 years but I think towards the end he started gravitating towards the new woman and within weeks after the breakup kids were introduced etc, holidays. This is a year on now so i
am over it and happy for them etc but i just wondered if you have ever been the new woman in this situation and did it all work out ok? It’s very quick to jump into a new relationship after such a long time and I am only just starting to think about a relationship with somebody else

OP posts:
Allornothingg · 25/04/2025 14:39

It could be that they grieve the end of the relationship way before it ends, but moving on so quick with somebody else is my idea of hell. I am so glad I have took this time to grieve, heal and realise what went wrong.

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BruhWhy · 25/04/2025 14:35

Yeah men really aren't picky. They generally just need someone to organise their lives and wash their clothes for them, and almost anyone will do. Hence the stunningly accurate cliché of men introducing Mummy #2 to their kids 6 weeks after leaving their wives.

Allornothingg · 25/04/2025 14:35

OoooopsUpsideYourHead · 25/04/2025 14:30

No-one falls in love quicker than a man in need of somewhere to live.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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OoooopsUpsideYourHead · 25/04/2025 14:30

No-one falls in love quicker than a man in need of somewhere to live.

LadyChillT · 25/04/2025 14:29

they're just replacing the wife appliance, why hang around?

Deargodletitgo · 25/04/2025 14:28

Yup, I'm the new woman. I was divorced for about 2 years after I met my DP, he had left his wife in November, met me in the May through online dating. His ex made some pointed comments about it, her view was their marriage simply failed due to lack of intimacy and seemed to think that he'd find a fwb but in other ways their relationship would not change really.

butternutsquashed · 25/04/2025 14:26

Men often move on at lightening speed, my friends Dad was widowed in his early fifties and had a new GF within 12 weeks. No crossover at all and they met online dating. It really upset my friend.

My DS had a relationship end last year, no third parties involved. He started online dating 4 weeks later. One woman he went on a date with was horrified he was just 4 weeks out of a 5 year relationship, no children and they didn’t live together. He was very upset for about 10 days and then that was it, all over.

cantpullthetrigger · 25/04/2025 14:23

I think men are a lot less selective and looking to fill a gap that was left by the previous relationship, rather than being much more choiceful in finding someone who truly complements them.

Pessismistic · 25/04/2025 14:21

Men definitely move on quickly I think a woman works through the emotions differently and are more wary getting involved again some women can move on quickly too but I think men find it easier.

Allornothingg · 25/04/2025 13:54

Poonu · 25/04/2025 13:53

I think men move on way quicker. They need someone.

Do you think so? I Mean our relationship was dead in the water for a long time before it ended but I still think it’s quick and I just wondered how the new woman thought of it.

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Poonu · 25/04/2025 13:53

I think men move on way quicker. They need someone.

Allornothingg · 25/04/2025 13:51

I think that if I met somebody straight away after a long term relationship I would think they wasn’t ready, but maybe they are, who knows

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Allornothingg · 25/04/2025 12:48

ExtraOnions · 25/04/2025 12:43

Yes … we got married a year later, been married for 20 (ish) years, we are very happy.

Sometimes you just meet the right person, at a slightly odd time.

were children involved?

OP posts:
Allornothingg · 25/04/2025 12:44

ExtraOnions · 25/04/2025 12:43

Yes … we got married a year later, been married for 20 (ish) years, we are very happy.

Sometimes you just meet the right person, at a slightly odd time.

Yes I suppose so

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ExtraOnions · 25/04/2025 12:43

Yes … we got married a year later, been married for 20 (ish) years, we are very happy.

Sometimes you just meet the right person, at a slightly odd time.

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