Friend asked dh for 2 year loan

Oh come on, you're never going to tell her, even if he doesn't pay for 2 months, you'll give him "one more chance".

It's fine, you are happy to give this man a gift of £25,000 it's lovely if you to give him this money and not have it back. But it won't help anyone..

It is easier said than done but…

no lending money. If the bank doesn’t…there is a reason.

Why are you worried about covering a medical emergency?

So he's loaned £25k off one friend, hid it from his wife, paid nothing back and now is asking your DH to loan him £25k in a robbing Peter to pay Paul scenario?

I don't think DH should do this if he can't afford to lose the money. His friend is OK lying and hiding stuff from his wife, he loaned money he didnt repay. Theres a reason his wife doesn't know, there's a reason he's not getting a bank loan. There is more to this.

At some point he's going to run out of friends to transfer this debt to and you don't want to be in the hot seat when the music stops.

As an absolute minimum I'd suggest to your DH only agree if this is an open loan to his friend and the wife.

@ParsnipPuree you still haven’t answered-how do you think this friend and his wife are going to be able to make serious lifestyle changes, if she is not aware of their financial difficulties and/or their causes? How are they suddenly going to stop going on holiday/shopping at Waitrose if she doesn’t know? Because now, it not only is it that they have to not go on holidays, they also have to vastly reduce their outgoings in order to repay your DH in the timeframe you have said. This has disaster written all over it.

Covering up lies, enabling debt, allowing a false marriage to perpetuate- and all so yr husband can feel like he’s done a good deed for his friend?

Your order of operations is wrong for starters. You have no idea how the debts actually accrued so you have no idea how they will be repaid.

1. Inform his wife. Or rather, as a precondition of any possible loan, tell the friend he needs to inform his wife. She needs to know as it is her finances you are discussing . Pretending otherwise is enabling all this nonsense
2. Ask for the last years bank statements so you can see spending patterns and how he can alter these to pay off his loan. Again, if he doesn’t want to do this there’s no possibility of a loan.
3. All four of you meet with an independent financial adviser/ not the voice of mumsnet but someone who sees this day in day out. Precondition of any loan.
4. Take their advice. It’s an unsecured loan- it will be v difficult if not impossible to get it back.

Be prepared to lose £25K and your DH to lose a friend. Because this loan won’t be paid back. It’s based on lies secrets and threats… lies to the friends wife, threats of self harm and secrets you have to keep from people who have a right to know

I don’t think it’s a good thing to be dangling the threat of telling his wife if he misses payments. His wife will be annoyed, but I think she’d be even more annoyed in six months’ time that you’d gone ahead with the loan and this threat and then told her, rather than telling her at the beginning when she’d be able to be involved in the decision. Either do or don’t.

Most people who work in finance don't have the ability to take money from the bank account though without anyone spotting it and then be able to give it back also without being spotted

The mundane is usually the situation and a non working wife, 4 children and holidays are reason enough to get into debt

Seriously? The pope was part of the systemic cover up of child abuse and didn’t want to take action to deal with abusers.

So less of the the white washing please.

I have read all of your posts, I think, and several others. A PP mentioned that maybe it would be a good idea for your DH to give the money directly to who it is owed to and not just hand it over to his friend.

Everyone has an ego, they just feed it in different ways. It isn’t a purely altruistic act if it affects other people. He will be getting something out of this, even if it’s not healthy. You posted on here asking for people’s opinions, pretty much everyone has expressed concern. You’ve then bent over backwards to defend and explain your husband’s offer, dressing it up as “kind”. If you’re not bothered then fine, it’s your life.

@ParsnipPuree you and I have very different marriages. If my husband did this, I would be contemplating divorce.

Neither one of us would risk this kind of money without the permission of the spouse, regardless of which account the money came from. Marriage is a business partnership in addition to everything else it entails.

If he can so easily afford it then why is his company (not him) lending it?

I wonder if OP’s DH was in this debate he might be saying something like ‘I/we can afford it, I/we know the risks, however this is a friend in need and it is the right thing to do.’
On this day of the funeral of a Pope who truly embodied Christian values perhaps we could imagine OPs DH as non-judgemental and giving, as she has described him.

We assume the asker has run up debts. The cynic in me thinks embezzlement since he works in finance. Won't be the first person dipping in the funds.Or he has a habit that someone wants the money due. Hopefully in a years time the OP will say it's all settled now.

And to hell with his friends wife and children and the lie they clearly are living.

When this goes tits up and this mess becomes widely known.

Don't be one bit surprised if people disagree with the flattering narrative you surround your husband with.

This is about him being Billy Big Bollix and feeding his ego.

It will be seen as such too.
That poor wife.

I’ve also told him the minute he defaults and they go away, that’s when I’m telling her

That's quite interesting, @ParsnipPuree; before it was you'd tell his wife if he defaulted on a payment, only now "and they go away" has been added

Why not just say you've no intention of ever telling her - especially as, if the possibility of you doing so comes to light, the "friend" will certainly start up again with the threats of suicide?

None of this makes sense.
£25K is a large sum to lend without security.
A repayment of approx £2k a month to meet OPs 12 month deadline, or even £1k approx a month to meet DH's 2 year deadline - is still a big chunk out of the monthly income of someone who cannot make ends meet and has run up a debt of £25k.
Add to that the tax implications/lost interest - your DH would actually be taking far more than £25k out of his business.

I get that he wants to be a good Samaritan and help a friend in need, but from your posts, and forgive me if I haven't understood you correctly, it sounds like DH wants to skip the formalities and hand Friend a cheque for £25k and say cash it.
I know OP has mentioned getting contracts drawn up etc... Could you make it a condition that if DH wants to do this, he gets proper professional advice, so all the calculations and implications are clear and not just guestimates. OP and the DH are sweating their way through this, but at what point will the Friend be providing proper information and looking at his finances to see if he actually Needs a loan so large it has to come out of company funds, or if he can restructure his finances with something smaller. That seems like a better way forward with this Friend.. I'm thinking of the "give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, teach him to fish etc" (sorry to go all biblical - one of those days)

This entire scenario is very very unfair to the poor man's wife and I don't understand why either OP or her DH would agree to not telling her and enable the Friend to keep her in the dark. It's a ticking time bomb.

Can a Limited Company Lend Money to an Individual? Find Out If You Can Borrow Money

So it looks like according to this a LTD Company can in fact just lend money to a random person, which I did not know
However the consequences of non repayment as quite serious and could in extreme cases lead to prosecution for the Directors (one of which is OP).
There are also tax implications for The company.

You do know though that lending him the money won't be the end of it.
If it's lifestyle debts, then they will continue as their lifestyle is unlikely to change unless he tells his wife.

This is absolutely not the right thing for your DH to be doing. Two men going behind his wife's back and her completely oblivious. You are enabling it. I should imagine if you were actually earning yourself, £25k would feel like a bit more to lose and you may be less blasé.

Really weird that you see this as bitchy. Why are you all protecting the wife? She needs to know what her husband is.

Contact your friend, tell her that her husband wants this money that you can’t afford to give and ask her to stop her husband asking for a loan..