Friend asked dh for 2 year loan

Why doesn’t your DH just tell his mate to go to a bank…

Supposedly the loan has been called in because the lender needs the money, but was it really because DH's friend hasn't been keeping up the payments due to his spending exceeding his available income. He's not likely to tell DH this is he? If it is the latter any sensible person would run a mile.

I don't think many people are worried about OP's money/lifestyle, they clearly can afford this. I think people are more worried about the friends wife and the lack of respect and honesty being shown towards her by her husband, which OP and DH are complicit in

Clearly he has given you reason! You said further up that if you said anything to the wife then your DH would stop telling you about any loans etc in the future. Withholding relevant information is pretty dishonest behaviour, and saying 'if you tell them I'm not going to tell you any more info" is like blackmail.

The more you post, the more difficult it is becoming to work out what you want from this thread.
Your life is perfect. Your DH is perfect. There’s no impact on your life if you don’t get the £25k back. Accountants says it’s all fine, tax-wise (although as an accountant myself, I fail to see how that is possible, unless the business is a moneylending one?). I don’t know what you are questioning. Life is one big bed of roses.

Coming back to the request for £25K
If DH’s friend borrowed from someone else, has been paying that person back as was initially agreed, how much did he ‘borrow’ in the first instance?

I'm not sure why posters are so worried about you OP, it sounds as though your lifestyle will not be affected at all if the loan isn't paid back.

Trust your husband and his accountants to do the right thing, just let it go.

I agree with OP that this thread has been done to death.

It sounds like you were alway going to lend this money so not sure why you in your OP you said you were angry.

This is about finances not affairs. I can assure you I know exactly all about my finances, income, outgoings. I certainly wouldn't be handing that all over to my DP. But then clearly you and I are very different. I earn my own money for a start. If I was a director on a company I would want to know the company inside out. It amazes me how in this day and age some women are still so blindly dependent on their DH's. I see a partnership as teamwork, not leaving it all to your DH. Even down to him buying you a nice car. Why on earth wouldn't you be involved in choosing your own car? Smacks of Stepford wives, particularly second marriage etc. You sound very naive, possibly deliberately, so I should imagine you wouldn't even pick up on the signs if your DH was being dishonest with you.
Anyway sounds like you are supporting of his ridiculous loan, so you've only got yourself to blame if one day the lifestyle all unravels.

That is good
I am sorry if you felt bombarded OP and I agree that if anything happened to your DH The Business would be the least of it BUT it could be more stress you wouldn't need at that time. I was just concerned that you were a Company director without knowing what that meant as a lot of people are in that position.

If you have known her over 30 years, I would tell her.
At that point, I would rather piss my DH and his friend off.
And as a company director, I would go nuclear.
If he went to a bank he couldn’t just sit and cry and say he was suicidal and ask for £25k to pass to his mate who he already owes money to.
I would not passively sit in my own home and accept this, nor would I keep this a secret. Your husband is not being kind to you to expect this of you, nor to his friend’s wife, who is on the outside here.
Secrets make you sick. And old saying but it’s true.

I started the thread to see if anyone has ever had a similar situation

I think there are many people who have been in a similar situation and it has never ended well.

Its because OP seems very unaware of what being a Company Director involves and should not be one if that is the case
It is not as simple of closing a company, she actually has legal liability and if there are certain discrepancies OP could be held legally responsible and face prosecution. An Accountant could advise on how to wind up a company but he won't have a time machine and can't change or cover up anything that has not been done properly.
A Business is legally not just an extension of a person, it is an entity in its own right and anyone who does not know how that all works should not be involved because even if they think its "just on paper" (usually for tax purposes) its really not.

Why would she need to know all that?

No doubt she would involve their company accountant to advise her on the best way to proceed, that is what you pay people for, you also don’t know what provisions the husband has put in place, he has been running a successful company for 30 years.

if her husband dropped dead tomorrow the business would be the least of her worries I’m sure.

as would the £25k loan.

why are you badgering op about what ifs?

Sure. But even if income is varied you still can see bills going out and must be aware of how big your mortgage is etc?

I do all the finances in our household but my husband still knows roughly how much we can spend each month in terms of are we going to Spain or the Maldives and are we buying whatever we like in the shops or are we on a tight budget!

So, if your husband were to drop dead tomorrow, what would you do? Do you know how to run the business and discharge your obligations for as long as it would take to wind up the business?

You have still not answered the questions I have posted quite a few times
Do you know and understand your legal responsibilities as a Company Director?
Do you fully understand the consequences of YOUR company making a loan to someone unconnected to your Business?

But you said you don't really know her on previous threads. Which is it?