Friend asked dh for 2 year loan

Also once they have the money, how happy are they going to be cutting back when the friend who loaned them the money isn't cutting back. They are going to get really resentful about going short to pay someone who can afford to lose 25k.
They are in debt because they have no self control spending on luxuries. Budgeting is for the plebs, when you have wealthy mates to bail you out and they will feel entitled to another holiday after all the stress!

Have you no loyalty to his wife? If you knew that her husband was cheating with another woman would you not tell her?

Which reminds me,
1, a distant relative was always hard up, embezzled money - to keep his other family
2, friend's family always hard up .....father also keeping another secret family.

If I were his wife I would be absolutely livid if my 'friend' knew my husband was borrowing huge amounts and she didn't tell me. Your husband may have stupidly/immorally promised not to tell her but you haven't.

Repaying it over 12 months is more than 2 grand a month. Can he afford it if he & his wife have been living beyond their means?
Can you really see him reigning it in enough to make the repayments? His current outgoings on debt repayments & interest must be more than 2k if they've agreed a 12 month repayment plan. I don't see how he's going to continue to keep his wife in the dark without a lot of lies.

Am I the only one wondering how the wife is so oblivious to their family finances that she hasn't noticed they are £25K in debt and consistently spending beyond their means? TBH I'm wondering if she is aware but just pretending not to be.

So ask dh if he would happily write it off

or what he would do if friend didn’t /couldn’t /wouldn’t pay it back £2k a month like the agreement says

He could make cuts in his lifestyle and pay back the first friend.
He's 100%dodger.

Dh says friend acknowledges he will have to make cuts in lifestyle

Cue next post in a month's time: "AIBU to be furious my DH lent his friend 25k and they've just gone on their 4th holiday this year- to Bali but I cant say anything as his wife doesnt know".......

He sounds painfully like someone we know, whose wife is utterly oblivious and who is up to his eyeballs in debt with everyone imaginable, HMRC etc too so he’s a ticking timebomb.

He isn’t a friend, he’s a former business associate. I’m not convinced his wife actually would want to know, and it might be similar with this guy’s wife.

Some people like to bury their heads and spend the money without thinking about where it’s come from or whether there’s enough of it. I couldn’t, but that’s what she does….

I’ve just spoken to dh. He’s having a proper loan agreement drawn up and there will be a monthly standing order. It is a 12 month loan

Frankly why bother? You can't get money from someone with none, and when it comes to it your DH certainly won't be a preferred creditor

Friend has told dh he knows he has been living beyond his means and will rein it in

Poppycock
Obviously he'll say anything to get the money, but he couldn't do this even if he wanted to without his DW noticing, and apparently DW mustn't be told ... though there's never been an explanation as to why

Are you not worried about how the wife will react towards you if she does find out about the loan?

It's your dh's money, so as long as it doesn't affect your family's financial security then it's his choice.
However, these situations frequently go badly at some point and resentment and lost friendships result.
My advice: tell your DH to be prepared to never get the money back, get excuses for being unable to pay an instalment or an instalment being short and endless excuses and having to go the legal route if he wants the money repayed.
If your dh was smart, and because the money is coming from his business, I'd get a legal doc drawn up and have it secured with some sort of collateral and I'd enforce the agreement if "friend" reneged. I'd also get tax /accounting advice.

Remember, this friend needs another friend to bail him out on a loan he can't repay to yet another friend.
What does that tell you?

On second thought, gift it or say, No. I know what I'd do....

I wouldn’t do this, then it could be said the loan never happened or he wasn’t in receipt of the money. Could be hard to prove if ever needed.

Nope.. your Dh would be kissing bye bye to 25 grand

Yes OP, he acknowledges this, but his DW is blissfully ignorant of all of this so what will she make of having "to make cuts in lifestyle" when she doesn't know why?
It's clear from your posts OP that you're nobody's fool and I think you've done all you can to protect your own situation given your lovely DH's (rather naive) attitude, but I totally agree with you that if there is any sign, any sign whatsoever, that DH's friend and his DW are not cutting their cloth accordingly, I absolutely would give her the knowledge she's been denied by her DH for goodness knows how long and I'd tell your DH this so he can advise his friend to "prepare" himself! 😂
I'm very glad your DH has had a written loan agreement drawn up and I trust you will get sight of this with both their signatures on it. Given that you are a co-owner in the business (even if "in name" only) may I also suggest that you email your accountant for written confirmation of the verbal advice he gave you both re. the tax situation?

But he's clearly not going to tell her, and now that he has made you and your DH complicit in his deception and your money is enabling that deception to continue, don't you feel any moral obligation to tell her yourself? I couldn't look her in the eye knowing that someday soon she could find her whole world crashing down around her ears and whilst I couldn't prevent it I could potentially have softened the blow. Better to hear it from a friend than the shock of debt collectors turning up at your door or god knows what else.

A debt of this size may well have implications for his job/business if he is in finance - ie having to declare personal debts annually etc (which may well explain why he needs to hide it and doesn't want to make the loan 'official' ie from a bank etc.) Or, it may be a pay out to a client who complained about bad advice and he doesn't want to /can't go through his professional indemnity insurance as he's already at his limit/risks being struck off.

I'd be more worried about being in a relationship with someone dumb enough to believe this scrounger.

Can’t EVER

How is he going to make lifestyle changes if his wife doesn’t know and isn’t on board? How is he going to explain that they can’t go on 4 holidays in the next 6 months if she doesn’t know they are in financial trouble and that they can’t NEVER live like that again?

How is he going to do that if his wife is unaware?

In fact why hasn't he already done that given he'd already been lent the £25k??

Can't believe there's two people daft enough to lend him this amount of money!

How long has he owed it, and did he pay any back to that person?

Good idea.
Dh can pay the debt back directly
And you tell the wife whatever she needs to know
If he suicidal his wife needs to know

I know, I feel the same, but legally, how can you dictate how they spend it. That's why we didn't' do this.

Dh says friend acknowledges he will have to make cuts in lifestyle.

and how will be do this without his wife noticing. If you do decide to lend the money (which is not a good idea) it must be done with the agreement he tells his wife. Otherwise no deal. He needs the money to pay his there friend so has no way to pay you back without some major changes.

This