Weird and offensive or I am overreacting?

"He does let you go to the gym on your own?"

OP, your language is all wrong.
You have been conditioned by him.
You going to the gym shouldn't even be on his radar.

How long are you with this abusive arsehole?

Presumably those things you posted are wanted and/or needed though.

It's the unwanted bit that's key here. She not only did not ask for lunch, she actively does not want it. He gives it to her to stop her having lunch in the canteen with Other Men!

He then reminds her by text to be grateful for something she didn't want. This is controlling behaviour. You're very lucky you've not had to deal with it.

Your post has nothing to do with that posters point.

Yes but do you have the DM sad face? If not then your situation isn’t the same.

People who don’t get it are very fortunate as they obviously have not experienced a controlling or abusive relationship.

I broke no.1 rule of MN, I didn't read all OP's posts before posting.

@RememberThatGuy I think you have bigger problems than a text message and lunch.

Perhaps start a thread laying it all out, and ask for advice. Don't hold anything back - it could be cathartic for you too.

When someone insists on doing you a favour you neither requested, wanted or needed, then sits back and does the Daily Mail type sad face when you don't profusely thank them, there's an agenda

It sometime surprises me that there are any people left who are happily married.

I didn't need to clean bird shit off DH car, he didn't need to clean the cats litter trays, I didn't need to put his laundry in with mine , he didn't need to make me a cup of tea, I didn't need to make his lunch, he didn't need to hoover.

I see it purely as a reminder of his status not a declaration of his love.

Even if I had the kindest most loving dh I would find that an odd and unsettling turn of phrase and I’d be telling him (nicely, if he was genuinely nice) that it’s not a phrase I like and not to use it again.

I'm immediately feeling that the lunch thing is the H being controlling and manipulative, the "you always over-react" gaslighting etc. all ties in.

When someone insists on doing you a favour you neither requested, wanted or needed, then sits back and does the Daily Mail type sad face when you don't profusely thank them, there's an agenda. What with all the info about grilling the OP on other men - as someone very aptly said earlier, red flags all over this beach.

I suspect this harks back to yesterday - maybe he's saying you might forget because he didn't say goodbye yesterday, i.e. it's his fault.

Some posters on here would dress that up as him doing her a favour because she must have forgotten things in the past, so maybe he didnt want her getting upset if she did momentarily forget 🙄

I see what you are saying. But people have different turns of phrase and it wouldn't worry me on its own. Combined with controlling behaviour it is worrying.
I read it more as 'Remember I love you, remember I'm in your life'. Perhaps wrongly!

Why use the word ‘remember’? Why seek praise? Why not just say I love you, enjoy your lunch xxx Someone telling me to ‘remember’ what their standing is in our relationship would get my hackles up.

Don’t tell me a mother saying to their adult child ‘remember I’m your mother’ wouldn’t come across as loaded in some way (you haven’t phoned me enough, you haven’t visited me enough etc).

I don’t think the marriage contract says you have to.

People can dislike all sorts of things, you know. Or even like it but not every minute/hour/day/week.

Neurodivergent people (like OP) often don’t like it because of sensory challenges.

Fucking hell. Get away from this controlling nutter, and yes, then you can forget you ever had a Husband.

What an absolute arsehole.

Because he's a cunt?

On Sunday I am going to say, I don't need lunch tomorrow thanks, I am going to grab a tuna salad from the canteen.
He will complain because he hates tuna and raw onion and he won't kiss me for about two days. I might add pickles and make it three days!

You don't want to kiss him? You'd deliberately eat food that makes him NOT kiss you?
He's your husband - why wouldn't you want to kiss him?

Christ Almighty what an over reaction!! (by you)

He makes her lunch despite her not wanting him to so she eats at her desk and doesn't speak to any men so Yes he is an abusive cunt
Read OP's posts even if you can't be arsed read the whole thread properly

You are picking fights with him over nothing, both today and yesterday... why?

You figure out whats causing you to lash out over tiny things because it will not be this message or a missed goodbye thats the core of your irritation/anger.

I don't think you can really get this question answered correctly on here. There is so much context lost. He may be feeling unappreciated and it's a dig about remembering he exists when you are preoccupied with work. But ... we don't and can't know the context behind it. It could almost be taken as a threatening reminder to you about loyalty to him as you leave for a day at work where he cannot keep an eye on you and who you talk to.

For example, my MIL asks some very innocent questions to my children and husband about me and different aspects of my life which are so easy to be passed off as just taking an interest in me. But my husband knows her well (as do I) and we know she's just building a case, double checking things she's already asked me, to raise yet another gripe about me. She is obsessed with the idea that I lie about everything. It's only that she spent a decade doing this to my husband prior to turning on my that we both know it's not innocent comments, it's all about control and manipulation.

He makes your lunch, what a fucking abusive cunt he is.

See a solicitor and divorce him ASAP. 🙄

He sounds like a guy who cares about you being perved over at the gym or at work. He "lets you go" to the gym, or maybe he enjoys your company? He doesn't want you to be fat, or he wants you to be healthy?

Mine has never commented on my weight or prepared food for me - he'll produce the odd bag of crisps - but he knows I only have eyes for him and Bradley Whitford 😍

Um, respect to other posters? Right.

I think his reaction to you telling him on Sunday that you don’t want a packed lunch as you want to eat in the canteen will be telling.

He says “no problem” - all is good.

He sulks and/or makes you lunch anyway and you know the lunch-making is for his benefit not yours.

Wow you sound hard work.

Stand up to him ,what a control freak