Weird and offensive or I am overreacting?

I would find the insisting on making you lunch even though you don't want it and the constant messaging very oppressive and controlling to be honest. I would take his message as 'look what I've done for you, be grateful' and it's a bit passive aggressive.

I can't imagine my DH texting me as soon as he's left the house. He usually just says see you tonight and leaves. We're affectionate with each other when we're together but don't feel the need to message each other during the day when we're busy at work.

He comes across as very needy and controlling, nothing amazingly obvious like laying down rules, more insidiously. I would find him very claustrophobic.

Out of curiosity. How old are you?

He sounds very possesive.

Making someone a packed lunch they don't want isn't an act of love.

What a drama over nothing! You do come across rather snippy

He sounds needy, insecure and controlling

-edited to add I write this before seeing the previous post which I whole heartedly agree with!

I'm really surprised by some of these responses. I think "remember you have a husband" is a really fucking weird thing to say to you as he leaves for the day.

To me, it comes across one of two ways. Either he's incredibly needy ("insists" on making you a lunch you don't want, texts you from the car as soon as he leaves the house and keeps texting you all day because he's so insecure he needs to know you're thinking about him constantly) or he's controlling. Saying "remember you have a husband" before he leaves is almost like a sort of warning, telling you to "behave yourself" basically.

Either way it sounds suffocating.

He doesn't sound great though overall. If this is the tip of the iceberg, it's worth a bigger conversation - and start having lunch in the canteen again by all means.

The more you write about him, the more controlling he sounds - and actually quite unpleasant as it’s all masked by lots of kisses and the false pretence that it’s done out of love.

You sound uptight and difficult. I read your husband's words to hint that he'd like to get physical, or was reminding you that he loves you (which he clearly does since he makes you lunch every day!). Instead, you have thought the worst: taking it to mean you're going old with dementia or are going to have an affair. Why think the worst things and react to them?! No one wins then.

It's a weird thing to say I agree but I also think it was an overreaction to start up about digs. You could've said: 'I'm sorry, who is this?'

Me too. Context is everything. Honestly from your update I'm hearing alarm bells OP, your husband is (trying to) control you. No amount of placating him, by accepting his lunches etc., will ever be enough for him. He's gushy, he's helpful, he's the perfect DH, so if you were to split up, you'd be the unreasonable one. Except you wouldn't. I've seen this scenario before.

Do you have children?

Even before the added context I thought his message and lunch-making sounded controlling. Now I definitely do. How dare he try and restrict who you talk to at work? Expect you to eat what he thinks you should rather than what you want to? And ARE you actually messy and clumsy or is that what he's told you you are, because you don't fit his standards??

I can't believe people have talked you into apologising and blaming yourself. I really don't like the sound of him.

I disagree with the posters who said you sound like hard work. OP. Your DH is the one who seems hard work, very needy and clingy. It’s like he needs constant validation and head-patting from you, a deeply unattractive trait IMO.

This guy sounds worse the more you post.

Take your lunch to the canteen fgs.

Funny how we all read things differently. Based on all of the OPs posts it seems clear to me that he meant ‘remember you have a husband who needs sex, and don’t cheat on me with one of the men at work’.

His text I didn’t have a problem with.

but the more you write…

Sulking at the prospect of no sex…love bombing…threatened by your career…getting stroppy if you don’t answer texts…

Im less keen on him now!

He clearly meant "remember you gave a loving husband"

It was his way of saying he loves you and you've blown it up.

To be honest reading this I kind of agree with you OP.
Does he "insist"? If so it could be a sign of being a bit controlling, that coupled with the reaction to not having sex makes me think so.

OP, I'm sorry other posters have talked you into thinking you're the problem. I think the responses would have been very different if you'd included more context in the original post. Given that he makes your lunch so that you don't spend your lunch break with male colleagues, his message was 100% a dig. He thinks you're going to cheat.

He sounds like an arse.

I think you're over reacting. If my husband had sent me that text I would have replied
" Thank you husband for doing my lunch 😁. I love you too."

No you didn't overreact.

Your response was totally understandable. The context to your response was missing from the op. I'm going back to change my vote.

I regularly send this to my husband ‘eh? 😂’ when I’m not sure what he’s saying. Texts are weird because you don’t understand the nuance and things can be clumsily worded. But then my husband is direct in general, so I assume clumsy wording over anything malice. If I was with someone passive aggressive maybe it would be different.