Weird and offensive or I am overreacting?

I think you need to take it in context.

You said
I admit I am on the defensive because yesterday he left without saying bye, then when I questioned it he pretended nothing was wrong. Then eventually admitted that he was a bit moody and apologised.

So in light of that conversation/apology I’d read the message as remember you do have a husband who loves you, has got your back etc. Especially as he said it at the end of a text about having made your lunch for you.

After what the OP has said I think it might be the other way around…

The bitey one is you, Op.
Take a flirty message and enjoy it. You could have had a very pleasant start to your day, feeling well loved, but your seem to be suspicious; you over react. R E L A X.

Oh look. Another red flag.

At what point do you close the beach, OP?

Yes I suspected there would be more to it but responded to just your op.

Texting you all day long when you are at work? Doing you lunch so you don’t mix with other people? Something wrong with him.

You’ve missed a massive red flag.

He’s emasculated and believes you will cheat because you are surrounded by men. Hence the “remember you have a husband”. Arsehole.

The lunch isn’t a kindness - especially if he isn’t noticing that you aren’t eating it and isn’t adapting what he makes accordingly!

Nah, that definately reads as controlling or a threat.

Might not have been intended that way, of course, but definately reads like "remember you have a husband, so don't go shagging anyone".

Hmm. I think you should kindly break away from the controlling elements of this relationship and see how he reacts, which will tell you whether his intent is to control or not.
Eg say "I'm going to go back to eating in the canteen because it's really good to maintain good working relationships with my colleagues. I really appreciate your kindness in making my lunch all this time though. How about I make us a picnic on Saturday to say thank you." The only correct response from him is "oh I totally understand. A picnic would be lovely." Any attempt to coerce you into carrying on eating his lunches, or try to guilt you into it by sulking, is controlling. You should call him out on it every time. "Sorry husband, but this is how I want to eat my lunch. It's totally fine for me to make my own decisions, isn't it." Or, "Why are you not yourself this morning? What has happened to upset you?" Basically, make him actually articulate why he doesn't want you to run your own life.

Read her updates - he’s a controlling arsehole.

Maybe he’s feeling insecure and abit emasculated 🤨

im abit with op here it was an odd thing to say but I probably would have called him and asked him what that meant?

it does make me roll my eyes abit when they get funny about women working with men and earning more to be honest.

women don’t do that to their men often do they.
they support them in their careers and hold the fort

tell him to stop being a dick

I don’t think it is a loving text at all. Giving your work environment it sounds like a bit of a warning. Along with the constant messages he is reminding you of his presence.
Also, just tell him you don’t want him to make your lunch. Why do you feel you can’t say that?
I don’t think you have any need to feel guilty. He’s the one with the problem.

I think the responses would have been very different if you'd included more context in the original post.

This.
You have no need to apologise to him. You did not do anything wrong, or over-react. Posters who say otherwise are just reading your original post and don't understand the full context of the messages within your relationship.

He is needy, clingy, jealous, and controlling.
Time to have a big conversation about his attitude to your lunches, the excessive texting, his jealousy of your colleagues, his jealousy of you pay and career, and everything else you have not talked about in your posts (because there is lots, isn't there?)

Don't ever believe you are the problem in this relationship. If he says otherwise, you can add gaslighting to the list.

If anyone’s controlling, it’s him. He’s the Nervous Nelly who knows he’s punching above his weight with you.

I think you’ve overreacted here… I’d have read that as playful unless there’s some huge backstory?

He hates me speaking to my male colleagues over teams and makes digs about which ever one he has the hump about this month

It gets worse.

Are you happy with him?

Is he the father of your children?

So is he in a huff because of the cold sore/lack of sex (he believes)
Is jealous of the fact you work in a male dominated area and is making lunch to mark his territory and stop you eating in canteen with colleagues

That's how it comes across to me with the 'remember you have a husband'
I mean yes correct does he think your suddenly going to develop memory loss or is he saying keep away from the men

A bit odd, jealous and controlling. Especially with the none stop contact

Surprised by the comments about the OP here as in reality much more context was needed. Frankly I think he’s the one with the issue. He makes you lunch everyday even though it sounds as though you’d rather go to the canteen and he knows that. You’re trying to lose weight but he packs crisps and chocolate. He then expects you to be grateful everyday for him doing this! That’s controlling behaviour in my book. Then we find he’s threatened by your career.

Stop tip toeing around him. In future don’t rise to the comments or just say ‘how could I forget!’ (I’ve got a husband). Tell him you’d rather sort your own lunch, if he continues to make it just leave it at home or bin it.

Yup

You're getting some strange responses here, OP. This message doesn't strike me as either flirty or innocuous - it's a passive aggressive "You're mine, don't forget it" and the immediate impression is that he's worried about you interacting with other men during your work day. Ugh.

Another one here thinking he sounds clingy and insecure. I would find all this suffocating. How long have you been together?

I’m honestly surprised you have the patience to tolerate his bullshit.

I read the message as:
...remember you have a husband [who loves you].

It's a slightly clumsy way of saying he loves you.

That would be my take as well

If that passes for flirty in some households, it's a wonder many couples have children

@RememberThatGuy I definitely think you took it too deeply, but I would've taken it as @FaceOrf said, I would have asked him what the hell he meant by that, but after he replied as he did, I would have just said something like 'oh okay, that's just not how it reads. See you tonight.Xx'

You said goodbye when he left the house why does he have to text you from the car too.