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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Feel I’ve wasted my life

108 replies

NoisyPinkViper · 25/04/2025 07:29

Am now 67, at 17, growing up on a farm, I wanted to live in the wilds, be self sufficient etc etc. None of my partners ever supported this idea and I am now in a village with constant traffic noise. I didn’t want another doer-upper but here I am! Hate the house, but husband has to have access to good rail/road for his job. He shows no sign of retiring so the chances of me moving back to the countryside before I die/become less able are remote. Have just reached the end of my tether - help!

OP posts:
frozendaisy · 25/04/2025 08:38

You can’t blame all your ex-partners and H for you not establishing the life you dreamed of.

Ratisshortforratthew · 25/04/2025 08:15

NoisyPinkViper · 25/04/2025 08:04

I always thought they would change, get on board with my ideas.

Well that was silly wasn’t it. If you really wanted a certain lifestyle why didn’t you pursue that as your priority rather than settling for partners with different life goals? If you’re in good health still why not do it now

bigknitblanket · 25/04/2025 08:13

It’s not just about getting to hospital, it’s getting to GP appointments and do your shopping if you have to give up your car for any reason.
MIL stopped driving by 70 because she lost her confidence after an accident, and moving to somewhere close to shops and facilities has been great for her. My own DF is only 75 but having health issues that affect his driving ability - very grateful he also lives in the centre of town.
Could you get an allotment? Take up house/pet sitting and choose peaceful locations to decamp to regularly?
I love spending time by the coast but for practical reasons can’t move there. I spend on average a week a month house sitting by the sea and it keeps me going!

Divebar2021 · 25/04/2025 08:12

Air ambulance? Do you think they’re sending air ambulances for routine scans? GP appointments? I’m sorry you feel your life is wasted ( I definitely have regrets about my life) but you must have made a series of decisions over the years to get to this point. This is not the result of one bad decision. Presumably there were good reasons for choosing the partners you have given they didn’t share your ambition.

NoisyPinkViper · 25/04/2025 08:05

I disagree, I would get to a hospital faster via air ambulance then by road and waiting for a normal ambulance

OP posts:
NoisyPinkViper · 25/04/2025 08:04

I always thought they would change, get on board with my ideas.

OP posts:
TourangaLeila · 25/04/2025 07:35

Personally, I think it's too late. I would be worried about access to transport, community and healthcare as I age.

Take lots of remote camping holidays instead.

JadedVeryJaded · 25/04/2025 07:31

Why have you compromised your dreams and hopes for the sake of your partner? It’s never too late to change this.