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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

what do you think happens after death?

160 replies

Goldyyup · 24/04/2025 21:40

Only interested in perspectives if you think something happens after death not the perspectives where people think it is just the end.

OP posts:
Radionowhere · 26/04/2025 08:19

RogersOrganismicProcess · 24/04/2025 22:10

As far as I know, for approximately 6/7 minutes after your heart stops your brain is still processing. I find that fascinating.

Me too. And absolutely terrifying tbh.

MyHeartyCoralSnail · 26/04/2025 08:17

I think we’re absorbed back into the All from which we might or might not emerge (in whole, or part) again

Goldyyup · 26/04/2025 08:13

maybeuptight · 26/04/2025 02:11

Your story triggered a memory of a similar experience. I also attempted suicide when I was younger, and I distinctly remember a quiet moment in the hospital where someone stood near my bed with their back turned. They wouldn't turn to face me because they were annoyed with me and they kept saying "what have you done to yourself?"

When I later asked who that was, no one had been there.

I think there is so much that we cannot explain definitely.

OP posts:
AthWat · 26/04/2025 02:21

Goldyyup · 25/04/2025 20:47

I didn't say anything was wrong with that point of view. I wanted this thread to be about people who think there is something else.

If you think being dead is the end or the memories live on that is fine, but that is not what the aim of this thread is.

I think we all ride zebras endlessly into the universe.

Seriously, what on earth do you hope to gain by asking this question? You'll have everything (and nothing) suggested by people who all have one thing in common, absolutely no basis for their beliefs whatsoever. Are you just going to pick the one you like best and hope it's that? If so, just make up your own. This is the one question on which nobody knows better than you, because nobody knows anything.

maybeuptight · 26/04/2025 02:11

Katemax82 · 25/04/2025 07:22

I tried to kill myself when I was 14. I was about half an hour away from death when my mum found me. I was taken by ambulance to hospital and woke up in intensive care. However I recalled my trip to hospital in hazy bits, I remember my top that was covered in puke being taken off me in my bedroom, I remember having needles shoved in my arms and being given a coal drink ( this was once in hospital). However the thing that sticks in my mind is being frogmarched into hospital by somone who had linked their arm through mine, I didn't fet a good look at them but they seemed annoyed at me. But I wouldn't have been made to walk into hospital would I? Was was unconscious and would have been on a stretcher. I always think it was my dad in spirit marching me into that hospital. Also my mum only found me because she had bought me this ridiculous hippy 70s make your own beauty products book from a car boot sale which looked like the sort of thing my hippie dad would have liked, otherwise she never came to my room as we lived in a huge 12 bedroom pub which she ran single handedly. I think my dad's spirit intervened that day

Your story triggered a memory of a similar experience. I also attempted suicide when I was younger, and I distinctly remember a quiet moment in the hospital where someone stood near my bed with their back turned. They wouldn't turn to face me because they were annoyed with me and they kept saying "what have you done to yourself?"

When I later asked who that was, no one had been there.

WhenICalledYouLastNightFromTesco · 25/04/2025 21:07

gamerchick · 25/04/2025 20:52

It does. The brain doesn't know where death is so it flips through your memories to find something to compare it to and releases a chemical to stop you feeling frightened. That'll do me.

I don't know past that, I hope there is something. I really want to see my daughter again when I go but obviously I won't know if itll happen or not. Just a comforting thought isn't it?

I can't even begin to imagine the pain and suffering you went through because I don't have children. I have suffered losing people I've loved and I say cling on to that comforting thought. Much love to you.

BoldBlueZebra · 25/04/2025 21:01

I think that we are basically energy. And when our body dies our energy goes back to the universe. Not in a conscious way but in a what makes me me leaves my earthly body and the energy just dissipates back into the void. I saw some one just after (minutes) they died once and it was still ‘them’ but when I saw them again later it was just a body and they were gone. I know it’s not conventional and I can’t back it up with science or anything but I very clearly felt that they had gone.

gamerchick · 25/04/2025 20:52

RogersOrganismicProcess · 24/04/2025 22:10

As far as I know, for approximately 6/7 minutes after your heart stops your brain is still processing. I find that fascinating.

It does. The brain doesn't know where death is so it flips through your memories to find something to compare it to and releases a chemical to stop you feeling frightened. That'll do me.

I don't know past that, I hope there is something. I really want to see my daughter again when I go but obviously I won't know if itll happen or not. Just a comforting thought isn't it?

Goldyyup · 25/04/2025 20:47

Tryingtokeepgoing · 25/04/2025 17:36

But there is nothing wrong with accepting that death is the end. Because we live on anyway, in those we leave behind. The way I look at some things changed because I met my husband, and though he has now died I still look at those things in the way I do because of him. The things I do, the things I say, the things I buy are all in some way shaped by the 25 years we had together. So he lives on through his impact on me, and on many others.

A silly example - I love home made salted almonds with a glass of champagne. They remind me of Christmas with my parents, as my mum always made them. She made them because her mother made them, and her mother becuase her mother did. Every time I make them I am reminded not only of my mother, who is still alive, but my grandmother and great grandmother. For me, tangible memories of those who went before me is far more meaningful than the thought there is something beyond life. Because they are with me in this life in myriad ways

I didn't say anything was wrong with that point of view. I wanted this thread to be about people who think there is something else.

If you think being dead is the end or the memories live on that is fine, but that is not what the aim of this thread is.

OP posts:
Tryingtokeepgoing · 25/04/2025 17:36

Goldyyup · 25/04/2025 12:35

You are welcome to start a thread yourself if you think that is a better question.

It is not closed minded to want other alternatives to 'it is just the end'. Like I mentioned there is nothing more to be said about it is just the end.

All I have said is I think there is something more - is that arrogant to think my musing has any relation to truth?

If someone says it is the end, are they being arrogant to think their musings have any relation to truth?

I am just interested in opinions and exploring a little. You can hide the thread it bothers you.

But there is nothing wrong with accepting that death is the end. Because we live on anyway, in those we leave behind. The way I look at some things changed because I met my husband, and though he has now died I still look at those things in the way I do because of him. The things I do, the things I say, the things I buy are all in some way shaped by the 25 years we had together. So he lives on through his impact on me, and on many others.

A silly example - I love home made salted almonds with a glass of champagne. They remind me of Christmas with my parents, as my mum always made them. She made them because her mother made them, and her mother becuase her mother did. Every time I make them I am reminded not only of my mother, who is still alive, but my grandmother and great grandmother. For me, tangible memories of those who went before me is far more meaningful than the thought there is something beyond life. Because they are with me in this life in myriad ways

Dappy777 · 25/04/2025 17:27

cornflourblue · 24/04/2025 22:16

I'm terrified it's reincarnation as someone awful...

I’m terrified of being reincarnated as someone at the mercy of someone awful - imagine being reincarnated as an orphan in a home run by a Jimmy Saville or a Fred West.

TwentyKittens · 25/04/2025 12:40

WhenICalledYouLastNightFromTesco · 24/04/2025 23:50

Exactly this. I lost my mum when I was 21. I was with her and she was talking to her mum just before she died. It was as if her mum had come to get her. I had to believe that I would see my mum again at that age, because I honestly don't think I'd be here right now if I hadn't believed that.

I don't believe in heaven or hell, and I'm not sure if there is anything afterwards, but I hope that when my time comes that my mum comes to get me, even if it is just an hallucination.

This is sort of what happened to my mum near the end. Her mum was somewhere about even if she was just an hallucination.

I do hope I see my mum, too, at my end.

In my mind, my mum's joined my paternal grandfather and is living in the parallel universe of my childhood home.

When I die, I'll join them there. Only it'll be with all the knowledge and experience of our lives, and will be a good place.

Goldyyup · 25/04/2025 12:35

MasterBeth · 25/04/2025 10:09

You seem to have a very close-minded idea of what "it is the end" might mean.

It's perfectly possible to have a perspective on your legacy and physical form after death, without believing you have some kind of ongoing conscious existence, for which there is no good evidence at all.

I think a better question is "why do you believe what you think happens to you after death?" There are plenty of fanciful answers on this thread but I wonder why anyone puts any store in any of them. I guess if you read it in some Holy Book, it's all part of the lore you swallowed, but I think there's an incredible arrogance to think your musings have any relation to the truth.

How come you know? Or think you know?

You are welcome to start a thread yourself if you think that is a better question.

It is not closed minded to want other alternatives to 'it is just the end'. Like I mentioned there is nothing more to be said about it is just the end.

All I have said is I think there is something more - is that arrogant to think my musing has any relation to truth?

If someone says it is the end, are they being arrogant to think their musings have any relation to truth?

I am just interested in opinions and exploring a little. You can hide the thread it bothers you.

OP posts:
blobby10 · 25/04/2025 12:31

I like the idea that the soul goes into a kind of 'waiting room' where it processes everything thats happened in the current life. Recovers/heals from it and decides where to go next depending on how many lives it's already lived. No idea where I got this from - probably a mixture of opinions about life after death as well as some personal experiences following the death of loved or not so loved ones.
Why do I believe this? It makes me feel better believing/hoping that there may be a chance to learn from the mistakes I've made in this life and do better in another. would hope not be castigated for this belief as I certainly wouldn't criticize anyone for thinking that death is the end!

driedgrasses · 25/04/2025 12:25

I had a near death experience as a child at the dentists. I was given gas as an anaesthetic and my airway collapsed and I began the exit process. I found myself in a dark tunnel and it was filled with Disney characters. I don't particularly like Disney and never have. I don't know what they were. I came round to the dentist and nurse panicking somewhat and removing an airway from my throat.

The thing that scares me the most after Hell is, what if we're recycled and we have to be reincarnated and do it all again? As far as I'm concerned life is awful and I hate being here. I can't do it all again. I want to meet my father when I die, as he died when I was young and I never really knew him.

Hoolahoophop · 25/04/2025 12:04

NoSourDough · 24/04/2025 21:42

You enter another consciousness, a mental one. You leave this physical existence where you are not bound by the laws of the physical universe.

I've always liked this idea, I'd like it to be a shared conscious, where we each understand one another entirely and there is peace and harmony and acceptance and a sharing of knowledge and no envy or competitiveness.

Judgejudysno1fan · 25/04/2025 11:49

The angel of death will come and take you to meet God. God will then judge you on what you have done in your life and ask you 5 questions.

  1. who is your God?
  2. what is your religion?
  3. how did you spend your time?
  4. how did you make your money?
  5. how did you spend your money.

And you will tell everything and even demonstrate with your hands and feet.

Then based on his love and mercy, God Allah will admit you to heaven / paradise or hellfire.

This is what Muslims believe

Sidebeforeself · 25/04/2025 11:47

I’m reading this and “Angels” has just come on the radio, so I’ll take that as a sign!

Buttheywereonlysatellites51 · 25/04/2025 11:45

I believe in reincarnation, so I believe that there is a part of us that is eternal and in each life we take on a new body body/personality and in between lives we go 'home', evaluate our last life and plan for the next. Michael Newton's book 'Life between Lives' totally changed my understanding of reincarnation.

Tryingtokeepgoing · 25/04/2025 11:36

MyKingdomForACat · 25/04/2025 11:23

I think this too. I can’t imagine how life must be for those who don’t x

Life is great; amazing in fact 😊 And part of what’s so wonderful is that we can experience so much in the short time we are here, and enjoy it in the moment.

Perfection for eternity, to me, be like an all you can eat buffet. The idea sounds great, but the reality is the novelty wears off quickly and you end up wishing you’d just gone to a decent restaurant in the first place. Quality over quantity for me :)

Millyjanice · 25/04/2025 11:36

MasterBeth · 25/04/2025 10:17

Most people who didn’t experience that will think we were affected in some way by “ hysteria” or dreaming. My son has since come up with a “scientific” explanation. But we know what we saw.

Yeah, that's what people who hallucinate always say. That's literally the nature of a hallucination. But we can study the brains of people who hallucinate, see the activity there and understand scientifically what's occurred.

It is so appropriate that these woo threads always appear in AIBU because it is unreasonable to believe that we have been witnesses to the rules of reality being bent in front of us rather than think our brains have made a faux pas. Our brains misinterpret stuff all the time. You're not that special.

Yeah, but 2 of us witnessed this simultaneously.

Like I said, prior to this experience I was a “sceptic” and your reaction just confirms what I said about the people who can’t explain these phenomena making an attempt at the scientific explanation.

surreygirlzz · 25/04/2025 11:28

It is like a general anaesthetic
Nothing

MyKingdomForACat · 25/04/2025 11:23

VirgosNeedGoals · 24/04/2025 22:21

Nobody knows and there is only one way we will all eventually find out. My perception of the afterlife is very childlike and hasn't changed much at all over the last 40 years. Not lemonade rivers or marshmallows growing on trees, but being together with all our relatives and pets and being happy and free of pain. I'm grateful for truly believing this, it keeps me warm.

I think this too. I can’t imagine how life must be for those who don’t x

unsync · 25/04/2025 11:23

@Goldyyup I guess you'll just have to wait and see then!