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AIBU?

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DP hates spending money - red flag?

79 replies

SunChasing · 24/04/2025 19:28

Well he doesn’t openly hate it - but he refuses to admit he needs to be a bit more free and enjoy what he earns.

Background, we own our house (have a Mortgage), have an emergency fund and seperate savings etc.

DP takes home c.£3000 a month. He spends c. £1000 a month on his share of the Mortgage, bills, his car/gym membership etc.

He then budgets about £100 a week for food and £50 for social e.g if we go for a meal or see friends etc.

He then saves the remainder so at least a third of his take home.

He only buys clothes if he really needs new ones and never treats himself for gadgets or any bigger purchases. It’s a bit of a stretch to him to want to spend a load of money on a weekend away as that comes out of his savings pot.

Am I being unreasonable to suggest he should just be a bit more ‘free’ and enjoy his money? He can still save at the same time.

OP posts:
TeddyBeans · 24/04/2025 19:33

If you've both covered living expenses and you're still going out and doing things together where he's not expecting you to pay for everything then what's wrong with him saving his money?

Swiftie1878 · 24/04/2025 19:33

It’s tricky, cos clearly it’s his money to do what he likes with, but if it’s stopping you from doing things as a couple, it’s a problem!
Did this not raise its head before you bought a home together?!
You need a good sit-down chat about what you each want from life. Should flush it out.
Good luck! x

Mandylovescandy · 24/04/2025 19:32

Could you start a joint account/pot separate from the mortgage bills account that is saving for weekends away/nights out etc? A small regular amount would soon build up and make him feel less like lots going out at once. I am a bit like him but I do enjoy myself - I just don't need loads of stuff (like new clothes) and I like stuff that doesn't cost loads (walks, bike rides etc). I am saving to clear the mortgage and that is my priority though equally we just went on a massive holiday and I was fine to budget for that with regular saving. What is he saving for? Do you enjoy doing the same stuff?

NewShoesForSpring · 24/04/2025 19:31

I think this really depends & you haven't given enough info to really know.

What's he like in general? Is he kind & generous towards you?

Do you enjoy a social life together?

Do you have kids?

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