To think many stay-at-home mums would leave their husbands tomorrow if they had their own money?

Working mum here with relationship issues- I’m pretty sure if we hadn’t kids there’s a chance we’d both have walked away but money wise and the fact that juggling kids is hard enough with us both trying to figure it out is probably a major reason for us still being together (although I do love him) , Id guess sahm’s have the same but yeah actually money wise I’m in retail so it would be interesting money wise too. You’re probably not totally wrong

Nope. I’m a SAHM who isn’t financially dependent at all (own assets) but love my life and my husband (and being a SAHM).

Same here. We’re a team, not least because no one else would put up with us in a million years.

I've worked my entire life and husband has just left me. We're all screwed financially as can't afford to run 2 homes.

Friend who has separated has never worked. Continues not to and has come away with enough money to buy a house for her and kids.

Not sure I'd insist on being so equal if I had my time again, it hasn't helped at all.

I'm a SAHM and this certainly doesn't apply to me.

Do you mean SAHM in bad marriages?

From my own anecdata over the years, it appears that a woman's capacity to put up with shit from her husband is nearly always linked to her own earning power.

Those who said "I've had enough of this, we're done" mostly had good jobs, supportive family and good self esteem.

Those who have put up with years of cheating, cam girls, porn usage, inappropriately messaging other women, wasting family money on vanity projects and boys golfing holidays, really didn't have any leverage at all and were stuck with the devil they knew.

Money doesn't buy you happiness, but it certainly gives you options.

I often wonder if some people do not realise what support they are entitled to.

I don't think it's restricted to SAHMs. I have several friends who would divorce tomorrow if they could do so without losing their houses.

It's very sad and makes me very glad that I own my home by myself.

Many? Unlikely. There’s no reason a sahm would have any less access to family finances.

Think most families- regardless of SAHP are financially dependent on eachother. Losing an income means a downgrade in terms of lifestyle, when children to consider it’s a huge factor, especially if not abuse it’s just a bad match years down the line.

Not me. I quite like having him around.

I work and have no desire to leave my husband but I’m realistic enough to admit my lifestyle would take a massive hit without him, as would my children’s

I don't think there's a simple answer. Me and my ex lived together for a bit. When we were not living together everything was OK. When he moved in and I was the SAHM. Everything changed i wad so unhappy it was messing me up mentally and emotionally. I told him to leave. Doing that put me on to benefits. But I felt a massive weight lift of my shoulders. Money changed of course. But the stress of him being around was not worth it. But its probably not that straightforward for lots of people.

Yeah, I’m one of them. If we won the lottery, I’d be off like a shot with half of it.

But my life is shit and now it’s just for my children, so I am unwilling to split assets etc at it would affect thier lives. I also left my first husband two decades ago, as I was young and stupid, and I saw the effect that divorce had on our son as he grew up. I lay the blame on the divorce for the devastating thing that ultimately happened to him. I will not do the same to my younger children. I’ll plaster on a smile and carry on.

I also have a chronic condition and I’ve seen first hand what happens to women as they age with it when they have no one or no money to pay someone. Dh is my only family aside from my young children, everyone else is dead.

Fine I'll bite.

Sahm for 10 years

No, wouldn't leave because "I love him"

I now earn very well, still haven't left him because "I love him"

Op, said ‘many’ not all. Why don’t people look beyond their own lives?

Not all, but many yes, YANBU.

The number of women who post on MN say they cannot leave their abusive or uncaring husbands or partners because they are SAHMs with no money of their own is incredible.

Whether a woman is a SAHM or simply never bothered to develop a career that can sustain a household, of course those women are more likely to put up with bad marriages and even abuse. Women with resources often stay as well, but it’s much easier to walk away when you aren’t going to a refuge or trying to get subsidized housing.

Rubbish.
Where do you get this idea from?

Nope. I was a SAHM for 8 years. Married with reasonable assets. DH earns enough that we'd still both be comfortable if we split. 'I love him' is my answer.

Maybe it’s just the bigger the adjustment you have to make the more likely you are to stay put.

And that encompasses many things not just financial.

Why though?

I think a lot more women would be single if they earned enough to fully support their own household and children to their desired level without the need for the current partner.

Just like I’d stop working tomorrow if I had enough money in the bank to do so.