Receiving child maintenance once child has gone to university ?

If dad is subbing her loans need to be based on his income and she will get less. The tax payer ( and there is a cost to the tax payer even though they are loans)shouldn’t be funding the higher loans to somebody unnecessarily.

Because I was on your “Smug husband” thread the other day

If the daughter buys her own food which she’ll be more than able to there are no extra costs.

I assume that he has a home and the ability to feed and water their child leaving each parent responsible for their own circumstances and ability to accommodate their adult child in the way they wish to

We all know that children don't stop needing parental support once they reach 18, financial or otherwise, and no decent parent is going to withdraw all support then. Many, many do but a lot don't. They just take the reasonable step of helping the child directly.
If he stops paying at 18, the OP can try her luck at court but he's not obliged to support her unless the court order relates to spousal maintenance. If it doesn't, he could probably still stop and leave it to the OP to pursue. Hopefully, he deals directly with the dd and ensures she has all she needs

She’s at her dad’s 2 nights a week op
and soon will be at uni most of the time, when you’ll be saving then

It sounds like he will pay, but you seem
keen the maintenance goes to you, when in reality her higher maintenance for 9 months will be to cover her uni living costs. Will you manage in 3 years when the agreement ends? Coming home in holidays is a cost but in reality some extra food and a bit more in utilities. Once she has finished uni, you won’t get single person discount on council tax. I have 50:50 with my ex. Our 17 year old has largely lived with him since he was 16, I only paid maintenance when I was waiting for my new house and couldn’t house him. Once I had a house with a designated bedroom, I didn’t pay maintenance- he knows I have a room and can’t afford to provide that and pay his dad maintenance. Older kids move between us.

I have an autistic child on PIP and autistic children at uni without PIP. It does a very good job of covering costs. And again it’s the student adult not the mother that needs to sort this. None of this is the mother’s money.

The assumption here is that PIP covers all disability related costs. It doesn’t, and was never intended to do so. It’s a contribution.

Because the daughter has the money she needs and for her disability. If the op wants more money she needs to ask her daughter however I don’t get why she needs it as the daughter has money to sort all her costs.

It's the ex's dd too. Money to help support his own dd whilst home from uni is not a handout.

Many many students on the lowest maintenance loans support themselves because families don’t have the money. They get jobs. If he chooses to give her extra it needs to go to the child as she is over 18 and the student not the mother. If he is going to give extra money the loans need to be based on his income . She is on full maintenance and PIP with no rent costs alledgedly. Why does she need more?The vast majority of students are on far less.

OP was awarded maintenance until 2028 in the divorce settlement for a reason, because she was the one left caring single-handedly for their adopted disabled daughter. People who adopt a disabled child are expected to make huge life changes to support the child. This has fallen completely onto OP. Her ex-husband's life didn't change. He then had an affair and left and never sees his daughter.

The fact that their disabled adopted daughter has done well enough with OP's support to go to University (something that probably wouldn't have been possible if she had remained in the care system), is down to OP's life completely changing to support her daughter.

Why you are being so rude to the OP and taking the side of her ex-husbannd, I don't know but it doesn't make you look good.

Any parent with a decent income who refuses to financially support their teenage child through university doesn't deserve a relationship with them.

Some of the comments here blow my mind. We've had 2 DC go through uni and it was a very expensive time for us. Topping up their accommodation costs and sending a food shop every week.

Very few 18 year olds can support themselves financially, so who should the responsibility fall to? Obviously not the dad according to many posters. Yet another way of keeping women in relative poverty.

But is getting full maintenance loans and PIP. She can support herself. You absolutely don’t need maintenance from your ex.

OP are you sure this is child maintenance and not a global maintenance order? Child maintenance is specific within CMS remit and only covers children up to 20 if they are in A level type education (or other sixth firm / FE equivalents) not uni (ie uni education is not covered by the “in education” wording that covers children up to age 20. My suspicion is this must have been a global order to “top up” if it is drafted / designed to support you for her until 2028. If it really is just child maintenance I think I agree that it won’t cover uni. Hopefully the dad will just see sense and agree to give your daughter funds direct and she can help you using that to support the household in the holidays. If a global order due to continue until 2028 I assume that will just continue as ordered. If you google “global maintenance order” you’ll see some good explanations of this vs child maintenance from good law firms.

But I’d also echo everyone else saying that as she leaves home and you get more freedom, do get back into your career. It will be so worth it even if you have to pay out along the way to get your registration back.

And I guess you’ve used your income to access the full loans( it’s such an unfair system as divorced families use this to their advantage) so she is getting the full loans. She has bigger loans to support herself based on your income so you absolutely shouldn’t be getting maintenance otherwise the loans should be based on his income and she will get the lowest loans. She also has PIP so has more than enough money to support herself.

@Singleaftermarriage

Perhaps, but if she’s living away at university, it’s not a full time job.

OP I’d be using the opportunity of her being away to focus on yourself; any careers you fancy trying now you have the time do so?

Any of DC's friends/my friends in that situation the money has either stopped or gone directly to the DC once at uni.
And a couple have had the issue that they've insisted the student finance used the dad's wages and has ended up with minimum amounts, but the dad has refused to pay, so they've been really shafted.

But if he does agree to pay you, he's not going to continue in three years time when she leaves uni, so all you're doing is kicking the issue into the future.
Use these months to look for a job that pays better to start when she's off to uni.

What an awful post, directed at someone who asked for advice. Calling someone in OP’s circumstances and who has given up a career to care for a child with high needs a ‘victim’ is a new low, even for MN.

Can she get a job in the very long holidays?