Receiving child maintenance once child has gone to university ?

I think what many are missing here is that you and your ex made a joint decision to adopt a child with additional needs. Due to your sacrifice of your career to devote the time needed to support your DD, your career has suffered irreparable damage and you will now always be a low earner. His career has been unaffected and he will continue to benefit from your unpaid work to care for his DD. I wonder how his career would have panned out had he been the primary carer. Over a lifetime, the benefit to him of being able to keep his career is in the millions. It would be impossible to reflect this in a divorce settlement. So ignore the comments about how it’s not his problem and how he’s dad of the year by having his DD a couple of nights a week.

I won’t pay maintenance when my children go to uni but I will support them generously directly, hopefully with a lump sum so they don’t need a loan for at least my half of the fees.

At the moment we are close to 50/50 anyway. If my ex wife chooses to charge them board when they are with her, she can have that conversation with them.

After 18, they are adults, no longer children.

If the divorce settlement says maintenance and not child maintenance, then those are the terms he needs to stick to. Maintenance is about the division of your marital assets. Check in with your solicitor about the terms in case there is something quirky, and perhaps discuss with him anything you think he might pay direct to DD moving forward.

Not read all the posts but if you have a spousal maintenance order until 2028 expressed to be for you, not your DD, then he has to continue paying until then unless he applies to court and gets it varied down.
If it’s a child maintenance order then after 12 months either party can ask CMS for an assessment and that would then be the rate payable and the court would lose its jurisdiction.
Even if it’s money for your DD if the court order says spousal maintenance it remains valid for the full term regardless of whether your daughter goes to uni.

Yep.

So the Op fibbed. It’s not full time.

basically the father will support his daughter as he has done without any issue for years. They have their own relationship.

Student loans are based on household income, so doesn’t matter what dad earns or what he provides as he doesn’t live in her household.

In my opinion OP’s daughter is getting full loan and PIP so should support herself with this income. Mum should be asking her DD for a contribution towards food etc. If ex does pay this should be saved towards house deposit, or daughter should take less loan and use the maintenance for her living costs. No need for full loan and maintenance and PIP, that’s a lot more than most students get. Many get 4k per year and have to pay for accomodation with that. OP should use this time now to get back in full employment and improve her financial position as daughter will be at uni full time.

You literally said she is with you full time, but also that she is at her dads 2 nights a week. Both of those things cannot be true, so yes, to say she is with you full time is a lie.

Absolutely

As the court order says payments until 2028, you need to get proper legal advice. It may have been put this way as it was possible that DD wouldn’t do so well & would still be fully dependent on you?

If exH is becoming more difficult, then a pre-emptive suggestion that the money goes directly to DD might make it less likely that he stops payment altogether. Whatever arrangements you make for DD to pay keep during holidays is between you & her.

Regarding your future, a TA job is notoriously poorly paid & of course is term time only. Essential when DD was a child but now you have the freedom to put yourself first for once. Look into the nursing options that others have suggested, but there may be other better paid choices if you want to continue working with children. Maybe teaching? Or an HCA job to get you back into a medical setting as you say you’ve lost confidence.

What about when said child is at university for most of the time

and stays with father 2 nights a week during the holidays?

He should follow the terms of the agreement, and the money should come to you, as this is the court ordered agreement.

Yes, it's maintenance 'for the child' but it's so the parent who does the care can care for that child - not pocket money. It's also partially to compensate for the fact that the resident parent is more restricted in earning capacity as they provide more care.

if OP does 100% of the care, then ex gives 100% of the money. If they both do 50%, then they both provide 50% of the money. Simple, straightforward, fair.

Which is surely a contradiction?

2 nights a week with her father does not mean she lives full time with the Op

He’s never had any issues with paying the OP
His 18 year old daughter chooses to stay with him 2 nights a week so there’s obviously a fairly close relationship with him

I would trust that he will support his daughter OP, which in turn will assist you

OP has literally said on her other thread “My daughter is very very close to me., and lives with me full time, stays at her dads twice a week,”

I have reported this nasty poster.

I'm sorry you have had so many harsh replies. I don't think any of them have walked in your shoes. I have tip toed in them as I had to give up work when DD was a baby as she had a serious health issue that was incompatible with me working.

Fortunately it was resolved when she was four years old and I went back to work. I hope you do manage to find a way to go back into nursing if that is what you want to do.

Even if he pays till 2028, what will you do after that? Time to make a plan to support yourself

He doesn’t need to as she is getting the full loans and PIP based on the mother’s income. My dc survive on the minimum loans and no PIP.If the plan was for him to sub the loans should be based on his income and she’d be getting less.

On her other thread I was on the other day

“she stays with him twice a week”

Depends on whether he will actually pay up though doesn’t it ?

Where has OP said that their daughter stays with her father two nights a week? OP has said that she lives with her full-time.