To ask my maid of honour not to announce her engagement at my wedding

Why do you care? She’ll chat to people and she’ll tell them… like other people will update them on their lives, as people do in conversation. She won’t make a speech. It’s a non issue.

She is unlikely to make an announcement, nothing wrong with her telling one or two people whilst chatting at the reception.

It will be your day, don't worry about that/

Yes. Then it is done before the wedding which is what the OP seems to want to avoid. The engagement is hardly likely to be a big secret if the bride has already been told.

Throw her an engagement party before your wedding

No, she shouldn't use your expensive wedding platform to announce her own news. She needs to arrange an engagement party to do that, paying for her own food, table decorations etc - not use someone else's well organised event to do it. If she wants to drift around the guests and flash her ring though, you can't really stop her.

My sister never spoke to me again after my pregnancy was announced at her dd christening. It was 3 years ago. It wasn’t even intentional on my part. She was absolutely furious.

Is she planning to do this or are you just over thinking?

Not unreasonable to ask that she doesn't make a stand up "announcement" to the entire guest list which I don't imagine she will. Completely unreasonable of you to expect her not to mention it at all. Has she to keep it a secret, take off her ring and say nothing? I imagine the response from others will be "oh lovely, congratulations! It'll be you next" then the conversation will move on. I doubt it'll steal any kind of thunder.

Surely she wouldn't make an announcement about it? But also surely you wouldn't object to her telling her friends when they are all together?
I don't see how that would affect your wedding.
Your guests will.have all sorts of conversations and catch ups during a wedding and not everything discussed will be about the Bride.

Is she on social media?
If so then she’ll likely put it on there anyway.

She’s not going to wait an entire month to tell people she’s engaged surely.

Theres a big difference between making a speech and letting the entire guest list know that you are engaged vs telling people if they ask/it comes up in conversation.

YANBU to not want her to announce it during her speech.

YABU to not want her talking about it full stop.

The wedding will all be about you and your DH.
I wouldn’t stress over this.

You can’t really be suggesting that to avoid this friend announcing her engagement, she announces it for her to the entire guest list?

"Are you planning to ask her to taker her ring off?"

Exactly.

It wouldn't bother me at all.

You could always pre empt any announcement by sending out an email

“ Really excited we are getting so close to the wedding. Wedding fever must be catching ! Congratulations to Anna and Ben on your engagement, can’t wait to see the ring.”

I think it would be fine to mention after the speeches, being at one great wedding and looking forward to another, along those lines. Is she your friend or not? Are you really worried you won't be sufficiently the centre of attention at your own wedding? Try being a little bit generous.

Weddings are important for the bride and groom and immediate family. For everyone else they’re just a catch up with friends where obviously your friend will share her news. What would you rather she talk about?

I think one day you will cringe a bit about this. But I understand that people go a bit nuts planning weddings.

you will absolutely be the star of the day whatever people talk about ! they are there to celebrate you and your marriage - but there will be lots of talking and gossiping and catching up!

I assume she’ll have told people before then anyway? I think you’re unreasonable to ask that she doesn’t mention it (and you’d presumably have to request that she takes off her engagement ring). She’d be unreasonable to put it in the speech though.

honestly op it's hardly a big deal is it. I mean as another poster said - someone telling me they are engaged is not major news to me!

and isn't a major joy of a wedding that people catch up with old friends, hear their news etc?

I suspect this one will

Honestly you won’t care on the day

Between getting engaged and getting married, there was an engagement, two new babies born, one conceived, a divorce, a cancer diagnosis, and two deaths among our families and various friends. Life happens.

What do you mean by “announce”?

a) She grabs the microphone away from your dad after his speech to say “and now for the main news of the day - Fred and I are engaged and will be getting married next June!”
b) She sees friends over drinks at your wedding reception. She’s asked how she’s doing and what she’s been up to and she says “All fine, thanks - I’ve got a new job and Fred and I are getting married next year”.

A is dreadful. B is perfectly fine and just normal conversation. People have all sorts of conversations at wedding receptions that are not about the bride and groom.

Oh FFS

Presumably it will take up about 5 minutes and then everyone will carry on. It’s a bit like not announcing a pregnancy at someone else’s christening when there’s already other pregnant women and babies there, if you’re at that age where everyone is getting married and having kids it just tends to clump together.