To ask my maid of honour not to announce her engagement at my wedding

Yeah, you can't expect her to not share her news in conversation, but you can ask her to not include it in a speech or make an announcement.

This

I think you are being silly.
It is lovely when a proposal happens during the dance or the next to be married gets the bouquet handed in to them. It does make your wedding more special because it signs someone else following your footsteps and taking the plunge.
There is a time for it, which is during the party/ dancing around or the bouquet throwing.
The rest of the day is only yours.
But if you do not want it, then you have to talk to her.

I mean as long as your MoH isn’t going to formally announce it as part of a speech, which she’s not asked to do, in which case I’d just leave well alone. You can’t really vet all conversations. Who knows there may be other mutual friends who’ve got similar news or decide to announce they’re pregnant or what not! It’ll still all be secondary to you though. Hope your day goes well!

You expect her to not say when talking to friends? Unreasonable yes. Dear me the shine is taken from you for a few mins.

My DHs brother asked if he could announce his and SILs first pregnancy during our wedding (in his speech). I’m not precious and I hate attention but I thought it was really lousy of him to ask. He said everyone would notice. My DH said he’d prefer it if they didn’t. So he didn’t. No one noticed of course. They announced it afterwards and surely that’s more special if you’re into an announcement (didn’t announce either of my pregnancies on account of assuming no one gives a shit really beyond your family - and you can just tell them).

I wouldn’t mind this OP. Chats and congratulations between friends at a wedding are nice. You won’t even notice anyway - you’ll be busy. I’m assuming that’s all it would be.

How is she keeping it a secret for a month to announce it? Or is she not allowed to talk about it?

While it would be out of order for her to do a formal announcement at your wedding, you can’t stop her from saying she’s engaged if anyone says “so what’s new with you?”

Personally I’d get ahead of it and congratulate her in my speech - it’s what I did when one of my friends had a baby on the morning of my wedding!

(Edited for typo)

Unless she is going to stand up and make a speech and do a toast to herself, no one is really going to care. I assume she’ll put something on social media and probably tell lots of people before then, but it realistically may be the first time she sees some people face to face. Of course, she’ll tell them and show them the ring.

An engagement is pretty small change compared to a wedding though and it will not overshadow anything. Probably people won’t really care as most people don’t care about other people’s engagements anyway.

If she does announce it at your wedding, produce a sweepstake board and encourage guests to wager on which marriage will last the longest/reasons for the split etc.
Make a real day of it.
Hire some tiresome hack celeb to come and help.
Scott Mills is pretty affordable.

She was in tears. I did actually feel bad as I had no intention of telling anyone till 20 weeks as I’d had some complications but a relative kept asking (I had put on some weight ) and saying it was obvious and then DM decided to say !

Apply for a legally binding gagging order so she can't mention it, and make sure she doesn't wear her engagement ring 👍

Seriously, how are you envisioning this playing out in reality?

Jesus. I don’t get why happy news on a happy day doesn’t just…well, make people happy?

Honestly, I wouldn't be able to tell you what my guests discussed with each other at my wedding.
Lots of people catch up at weddings, especially if sitting on the same table at the meal, or when hanging around for the bride and groom to have their photos taken etc. You won't be monitoring every single conversation that goes on. People catch up. Some may congratulate her, and then their focus will move on to discussing other matters.

This , don't be daft!

Haaaaa get over yourself

I never get this 'no-one is allowed to steal my thunder' mentality surrounding a wedding. - Me neither.

OP - you are being a bit precious I think - just put it out of your mind and enjoy your wedding.

My advice is drop this whole line of thinking right now, unless you want to be disliked and possibly have people dropping out of your wedding like flies.

Your wedding isn't the center of life on planet Earth, first of all. As others have said, it means a lot to you but not that much to anyone else. It in no way justifies you attempting to control anyone else's decisions on when and how to share the good news going on in THEIR lives.

Worrying about hogging every molecule of attention for yourself sounds like not even being mature enough for kindergarten, let alone for marriage, tbh.

Even if she did announce her engagement during the toasts at your reception, so what? Who on earth cares? Just let her do it, if she wants to. Smile and congratulate her and clap for her. Let other people tsk-tsk about it if they want to, while you show all how gracious and angelic you are.

You should ONLY worry if she and her fiance rush down the aisle after you and your fiance, attempting to get a two-for-one on your entire wedding and reception. No, never mind. That would be hilarious and make yours the wedding of the century, still discussed decades later. So, no worries at all.😂

Seriously though, if you care about your wedding so much, the first thing to kee firmly mind is how you come across and what people will remember about your attitude and behavior. Self-centered and jealously demanding all the attention for yourself is not the look you want. Best wishes.

It’s going to be about you no matter what.

don’t be petty about other people being happy too.

Gushy Instagram story post congratulating her on her engagement & sharing your excitement to support her on her special day as she has you. Done 😂

Seriously though, this friend needs telling? 😬

Nailed it!

My sister announced her engagement at my wedding. She also announced her pregnancy an hour after I gave birth to my first child. One or the other wouldn’t have been so bad but both has left a bitter taste.

It very much depends on the level.of "announcement".
DH's friend "announced" her pregnancy at our wedding, but told everyone not to tell us... So every time we went near a that group they all went quiet and weird. Someone told DH why, so of course he told me. We just thought it a bit overdramatic that everyone acted so strangely about it.

What a world we live in! I really despair when I read things like this. Such a focus on being the centre of attention, as if it would be a disaster should the limelight be momentarily deflected elsewhere.

OP, it is your marriage that's important, not whether you are the sole focus of everyone's day. Concentrate on enjoying yourself and don't worry about what your MOH does. It really does not matter.

Official announcement ie, standing up and telling everyone at the wedding or including it in a speech is obviously a no-go but telling her friends during the reception/dinner is fine. You can't police what your guests talk about amongst themselves!