Friendship fall out, racism and discrimination

I would let the friendship drift but I wouldn't tell the new friend what has been said. She may find out on her own in time but hopefully by then she will have an established friend group and will be less worried that everyone she meets in her new home town is two faced and racist.

I'm not a Muslim either but I'd be the CF hinting I'd like an invite if I knew there was Lebanese food on offer.

telestrations

If asked I would be tactile "I don't like some of her brows" is good but if asked again or outright I would say what they are.

I think you might have upset the autocorrect gods. 😁

I doubt that you would be invited.

I would tell racist mum that we're all God's children and that it's very unchristian to put people down because of the colour of their skin.
I'm ateist but I can't stand discrimination, it makes my blood boil and I have to openly take a stand against it or I wouldn't be able to sleep at night.

I can understand not wanting to attend the Eid celebration although personally I think the more parties the better but the racism is unchristian and would tell her so. If you are Catholic there is a good chance that the next Pope will be from Africa.

Yeah I guess it's not up for debate. It's a fact they're being racist and should be told so. If they say they're not then respond with 'well, what you're saying is.' I just feel some people aren't even worthy of trying to educate.

I think it's valid enough for people not to want to go to celebrations they see as being part of another religion, it's a common enough thing in and of itself. This lady's other comments however are a problem.

I might be inclined to press her about them at some point rather than cut her off (why would you say that, Joyce, what do you mean?), but I am pretty practiced at having those kinds of discussions,I think just becoming more distant is also reasonable.

I don't think I'd tell your other friend though. It won't accomplish anything useful.

So you’ve never celebrated Diwali, or Holi or Thanksgiving or St Patrick’s Day or anything that isn’t ’directly ‘to do with you’?

Definitely cut off the racist

As someone raised Catholic, I will never understand people who don't get that their racism is profoundly anti Christian. Jesus would not approve!

Really enjoyed hearing your opinion that's great to know. Very relevant to this thread 🙄

Racism should always be challenged. It’s irrelevant whether a racist accepts she’s racist or not.

Her comments are awful.

Poor new mum is trying to make sure her kids know about their late fathers religion and background.

Did racist mum tell new mum why she wasn't going to eid celebration?

My kids celebrate all their friends d ifferent religious festivals with them. It's lovely to way to share knowledge and learn

I eat very well during Ramadan as I manage to get invited to Iftar at least once a week.
I celebrate most things that involve eating 😀

I'm atheist but I go to Christmas parties and eat Easter eggs. I've been to a Thanksgiving party and I'm not American.

I've eaten Diwali sweets brought into work.

It's great to be involved in different cultures!

I wish someone would ask me to celebrate Eid with them, or take iftar, that would be lovely. There is often a group iftar in the town near where I live but I've never managed to get along to it.

good that your friend is supporting her children with a wide variety of historic family culture. The children will have a real sense of their backgrounds.

can you challenge your other friend at the time she says something inappropriate?

I am of mixed but ambiguous looking ethnicity. My children look white (particularly the blonde one).

I have been privy to shit like this my whole life and as a forty-something woman I now don’t take prisoners. Confront and deal with it head on.

🤣🤣🤣🤣
I can't even... 🤦🏾‍♀️

Being blatantly Muslim????
🙄

Were you invited?

Don’t worry; I doubt anyone would want to invite you.

That’s terrible. Obviously end the friendship (and I’d have no issue telling her why - I’ve cut out family members for similar) but personally I wouldn’t say anything to the other mother.

However - I would be super inclined to talk to the school so they can watch for this sort of thing between the kids. If children hear this garbage at home they repeat it - often without understanding what they’re saying.

My children at the only Jewish children at their schools and we have had to deal with 3 horrible incidents and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. If the school is aware they can both do some education in the class as well.

as an aside we have hosted non Jewish friends for a variety of Jewish celebrations - and we celebrate Christmas at home as my husband isn’t Jewish. So going to an Eid party doesn’t sound odd to me at all. I’d love to see what it’s about!

Many Catholic Schools have Muslim pupils. I’m a Governor at a Catholic School, and we have a number of Muslim students (as well as other faiths). It’s really quite common.

The Eid thing .. it was a party, it wasn’t a forced conversion. The Pope himself broke bread with many other religions and religious leaders .. it was good enough for him, should be good enough for anyone.

This boils down to your friend being a racist bigot, and trying to find excuses for her behaviour.

For your second question it’s challenging as I would want to know if somebody was being a bigot behind my back but nice to my face - but it may create a really difficult situation for you. If the other mother asks just say you realised that you and Racist Mom have some conflicting values and your prefer to keep your distance.

YAANBUA for wanting to end this friendship.

I would do so too. And if she asked I would tell her why. Life is too short to befriend racists. Just keep it civil and leave it at that.

Her not wanting to attend the Eid event makes no sense to me (I am non religious and have been to Christmas and Eid events) but is not a problem in and of itself. The rest of her comments are really problematic.

I should not be surprised when I hear of devout Christians who are also bigots. But I always am.

I don't think you can be half of a religion, can you?

Anyway, Racist Mum is also Ignorant Mum!

I also grew up in a place where there were only three families who weren't white and I'm not a racist, so please don't give this woman even a sniff of an excuse for her comments.

I would cut her (and any racist/sexist/homophobic person) off without a backward glance.