Child's friend parent on sexual offender register

Your posts are giving me verrrrryyyyy creepy vibes. Why does her DH have to be on board - OP can decide to protect her child herself you know. Why would you not want her child to be safe? You’re trying to undermine OP and her thread.

Again, why do you want to know this detail, curioushoney?

Why is this detail important? Are you trying to make out this isn’t true. Or want to find a way around a complaint?

Eh? How on earth is it outing when thousands of men are convicted of CSA crimes every year in the U.K. it could be any village/small town in any country in the world.

She doesn't have to do anything of the sort.

As most other people have said, I wouldn't entertain this man in any way, shape or form.

The child is invited, as long as someone else drops the child.

Thank you for replying @AnotherNaCha
Shocking and sickening, just bonkers.. once again, children aren't protected or prioritized near enough, neither by social services nor by the law.

Each to their own?!
That's usually my mantra, but not in this case of having a child sex abuser around kids!
What's his type got to do with anything?!
If he's prone to liking kids then I wouldn't give a shit if any of his previous likes were female (are u insinuating that maybe if you're a boy you're safe?!)
I wouldn't want him around ANY kids.

Is your DC female? Is his child female? His type sounds female and teenager not 4yo. Still I would take evasive action too.

It boggles my mind why anyone would stay with a pervert but each to their own, I guess. I feel very sorry for the child though 😞

Yes to that.

And also, "Mummy, can I count on you not to throw me under the bus if it comes down to a choice between me and him?"

Be aware of security cameras recording at any point, in his house, that he can access for his own ‘interest’.

While I get what you mean and the sentiment is right, I don’t know if it’s the op’s job to protect this man’s child.

The child might have suffered at this man’s hands directly.

He will certainly in some way have just by having him for a father - arrests, watching arguments between his parents about his dad being a peadophile, being away from his dad, eft.

In the future this child will certainly be impacted by this man’s crimes either through absorbing his negative values and actions (and of course I know kids of sex offenders don’t automatically become sex offenders, but kids of bad people sometimes become bad people themselves in one way or another) or through the shame of being associated with him and the hurt of his dad being a bad person. That household can’t possibly be healthy can it? A man who is a convicted pedophile, a mother who had found out her partner is a pedophiles it’s l

So just from a purely self focused, protective parent point of view, it is fair to say this kid might not be the friend you want for your child. And it is OP’s duty to think about her own kid, no matter how sad another child’s life might be.

This is absolutely the way forward. You can also add ‘I don’t want x to miss out so I hope that you are able to bring him, the two of you are very welcome.

I actually think this is quite supportive, being very clear and boundaried, you could even help her to think wtf am I doing. Some of the replies saying you need to accommodate him, are misguided. In a small town, the adults you choose to have in your home, are an indication that these are safe people. It doesn’t matter that you’d be supervising. What happens in another 6/7 years when they are out and about independently and trust this guy, because mum wouldn’t invite him in unless he was safe. Not saying you op, your attitude is sensible, for pps.

I’m surprised by some of the relaxed comments on this post. There’s absolutely no way I’d be allowing this man any where near my child regardless of the impact on his child. I just couldn’t do it. My primary responsibility is to safeguard my children.

"Mummy why have you stayed with a pedophile?'

I don’t think yabu op. I have a relative in law who is a sex offender. He was recently at MILs 80th bday at her request. I allowed my children to go and intended to keep a very close eye on my kids. He struck up a very familiar relationship with my eldest who he had never met before (9 year old at the time). I tried to stick to him like glue but these people are very very clever and very manipulative. In my view as a parent you have one main job, to keep your kids safe. I wouldn’t let my kids anywhere near this guy. Anyone who says he poses no risk is being very naive imo.

I wouldn't do that. If she's a woman that will stand by her paedo husband and actively try and integrate him back into polite society, then I wouldn't put it past her to "force" him to bring the child and claim he has to stay, putting you in an uncomfortable position.

I'd have to either say no or have an actual conversation with her.

Dear friend,

I’d like to invite Jimmy junior to spring junior’s party. Will you be able to bring him and stay throughout the party? Unfortunately I’m unable to host Jimmy senior.

RSVP
Etc

That poor child why ffs isn’t the mother putting her child before this man

i dont blame you op. Unless you make it clear to the mother only she brings the child to the party/play dates

there is no harm in telling her how unacceptable you find him being around your child we shouldn’t be afraid of doing so because it might be a difficult conversation or we want to avoid things being awkward

the more he is accepted the easier it becomes for him to groom and this will start with him grooming the adults

he is what he is a man who is sexually attracted to children and has been involved with the abuse of children he won’t change

Peadophiles are like any other psychopath (look it up of you don’t know the proper definition) They will lie, cheat, change personas… they will do anything to get to the end goal.

So agree!

I hate to be nasty to kids but if it was be I’d completely cut any association. From my own experience where I wasn’t the abused child but unintentionally party to the abuse, I wouldn’t want any contact whatsoever. You think you can protect your own kids. You do that by avoiding risk. Any risk.

That child should be removed from the home if the mother insists on continuing any form of relationship with him.

I would tell the child's mother up front, the child is welcome to the party but under no circumstance is the father to attend, sorry but your there to keep your kids safe, not yo make him feel welcome.

Oh and just to add… if you think that whatever he’s done isn’t “that bad” I’ve heard (from incredibly reliable and professional sources) of fathers who have passed their own children around CSA rings and have still managed to get contact when it goes to court.