Child's friend parent on sexual offender register

Yeah, it is okay for kids to be sad, especially if it’s as a result of keeping her own kids safe.

OP, I would honestly discourage any relationship between your two families. Her father is in her life and family home, and in her eyes he’s just ‘dad’, which is likely going to result in him automatically being considered trustworthy to her friends: ‘That’s x’s dad, he’s fine!’. He’s a pedophile, and he will use his daughter to gain access to children.

Of course it’s OK to make a child sad (about missing a party) if it’s in service of a more important aim

Click on ‘quote history’ and you’ll see the ‘is your husband on the same page’ comment was to OP. The ‘report to what body’ was a question to @neverbeenskiing when she said she’d known a convicted paedophile complain that he’d not been able to join the PTA. I can see why the pp questioned your responses to these posts, they were very odd.

”it’s okay to make kids sad” What the actual fuck!

Nah, if I were the OP and it was between little Timmy getting a birthday invite and keeping my own kid safe, there's no competition. Little Timmy being disadvantaged and sad is down to his parents' awful choices. Nothing to do with anyone else. And yes, staying with the paedophile father is awful.

To the school. Thought that was clear from the post.

If you read the thread though, posters have made some excellent points re grooming.
You can supervise then at that age, but what happens when they're a bit older and maybe offered a lift?
"Oh, it's Johnny's Dad, he's cool, I know him."
<gets in car>
You don't want them to get the opportunity to become a trusted adult.
Edited to say this was in response to @Inthetyreshop 's post and should have been a quote to that.

Yeah. My mom was groped when she was 11 by her friend's older brother, who was 24 at the time. My mom spoke up, she was told that she was a slut who'd tempted him. Her best friend was abused by a teacher, her parents told her to keep quiet because otherwise she'd get a 'reputation'.

My best friend was abused in the worst possible way from the ages of 6-9 by the father of her brother's friend. She spoke up, her mother didn't believe her. Turned out he was also abusing her younger sister - they didn't know about each others trauma until they were adults. The paedophile was later convicted of offences against some different girls, and his son also ended up convicted of sexual offences. It's sadly not uncommon, and pretty much every generation of women will have a story of the local perverts.

It would be a cold day in hell before I knowingly let my child in proximity of a sex offender, and I'm absolutely gobsmacked by some people on here who are advocating allowing contact with a nonce. The OP - and her children - have absolutely no obligation to involve themselves in the social rehabilitation of a paedophile.

Totally with you on this. They’re the ones whose children are extremely vulnerable, frankly. Happy to have a convicted paedo in their child’s vicinity and thinking it’s okay?! Insanity.

The posts calling OP judgemental and asking how she knows other dads are not sex offenders WTF? Are they written by India Knight?
Stay as far away from this family as possible. Who cares if its judgemental.

Sorry if I wasn't clear, I totally agree, I wouldn't let my child anywhere near this man or woman to be honest.

The batshit responses are the ones urging OP to reintegrate this man and put the needs of his DC above hers.
I would not have my DC or myself anywhere near this man

OP has said she hasn't wanted to discuss with others for fear of being seen as a vigilante. Which is fair enough given some of the batshit responses on here.

No I wouldn't have him in the house or at the party. I agree the mother should rethink her choices and bring the child herself.

This is what I’d do to I think, it’s really sad for the other child. He doesn’t stand a chance though really.. A pedophile for a father and a mother who is standing by him.
He’d be better off in foster care and then hopefully adopted and I’m surprised that the mum is aloud to keep her child, even if they’ve split she’s putting him in a position of being shunned by his peers at school and possibly abused at home.

Could you not just have a conversation with the mother and explain that you don’t want to disadvantage child but if you invite them it’s on the condition that father does not attend?
If she tries it on then you know for next time but if I were in her position I’d be putting my child first.

But oddly despite the community all knowing this, the op doesn’t once mention any one else’s view on the party. She can’t be alone surely?

Wow. My chid wouldn’t be getting the opportunity to be anywhere near him, let alone speak to him. This isn’t about the friend feeling left out - that’s not on OP. Her first concern is making sure that this man doesn’t come anywhere near her child.

Get a grip.
Of course it's OK to make kids sad.
It is sad that that child has 2 seriously messed up parents.
But we don't all need to go down with the Titanic.

I'd be telling my children that unfortunately not everyone has good parents and that sadly Timmy was one of those kids.
That means that while I'm sure he's lovely and you can carry on being friends in school we won't be having his parents near us and they won't be going near them.

@Dinosaurshoebox
While I’m with op on this one and wouldn’t let this man anywhere near my child your comment is disgraceful.
”it’s okay to make kids sad” What the actual fuck!

Why should OP put this child before her own child? She needs to protect her own child and I wouldn't want that man anywhere near my child.

The child feeling left out isn't OP's problem.

I’m fairly sure that other kids won’t be allowed to attend if the parents know this man will be there. There’s that to consider too.

life must be hard for you @Spinachpastapicker

i was asking @Gymmum82 not the OP.

this man, his wife and indeed the child wouldn’t be remotely near my child outside of the school perimeter

how peculiar . You didn’t bother to read my posts. I wasn’t asking the OP I was asking @Gymmum82 🙄

Because I find this poster’s stance incredibly disturbing how laissez faire she’d be about a paedophile around her child

I am curious whether she’d be this dogmatic if the father of her children was on the same page as most of us on This thread ie wtf NO

It's OK to make kids sad.
Especially if they're not yours and their sadness doesn't effect you in anyway.

He’s disgusting and I understand your issue but it’s your child’s friend and she/he will feel left out. Just make sure he is never alone with your kid and if he does speak to her/hm just be around