Child's friend parent on sexual offender register

Agreed 💯

YANBU. As a criminal defence solicitor, I would feel exactly the same.
You don’t have to exclude the child but you can absolutely raise your, perfectly correct and reasonable safe guarding concerns about the Father attending.
He’s on the register for a reason and there may be lots you still don’t know.
He may not begin grooming children in front of you at a party but what if he takes his phone out and starts to take photographs without you or the other parents realising. We already know he has been in possession of indecent images so they could easily be shared to the wrong people.
I met many sex offenders in prison, not a single one was interested in rehabilitation because they genuinely do not believe what they are doing is wrong.
Having seen enough, it’s an absolute no for me.

There might be conditions around what he can / can't do but so what? You don't know what they are, if he is adhering to him - obviously many offenders don't, lots of people breach conditions and reoffend - and you aren't in a position to judge if they are reasonable or not because you don't know his full circumstances.

What you do know is he has a sexual interest in children, looks at children sexually and has deliberately crossed many boundaries already. He's viewed images of children being abused and make efforts to do the same himself. It's not a one off accidental viewing if he's on the register. I don't think paedophilia as a sexuality can be cured, so I would question what has changed. I don't believe rehabilitation works for sexuality. He won't stop fancying children because people are nice to him and invite him bbqs. He might not act on his impulses anymore but I wouldn't want my child near someone who I knew thought like that. You aren't being unreasonable.

Can't believe I'm reading these replies!
Especially (bitch) saraclara!

Absolutely keep your child away from this (blank!).
Not a cat in hells chance my child would be anywhere in his vicinity. Go with your gut & that says stay away.
Good for you... no good anyone saying AFTER an incident " Well, we didn't think would happen!
Ughhh! 🤬🤮

Mumsnet is absolutely mental sometimes. Women are willynilly recommended to leave their husbands for not helping with the dishes, playing video games or making inappropriate jokes but when it comes to inviting stevo the pedo to a 5th birthday party that's absolutely fine because we don't want to hurt anyone's feelings! Bonkers

How the fuck does this evil predator have the choice of being around children and their homes??? I'd invite him down a dark alley way with a baseball bat, and his dopey wife too!

I agree.
To the mum, "I mean no offence to yourself; I'd you could bring child I'd really appreciate it".
If they ask why, "I'm not comfortable with your husband coming to my house".

Support opportunities for a man who groomed a teenage girl and looked at child pornography.... 🤔 At a kiddie party.... Maybe he's not into 4 year olds and prefers pubescent girls with little breasts so the kiddies are ok.....

Fuck right off

Any one of those other men could be a sex offender. You simply don't know. You do, however, know about this particular parent, which gives you the upper hand - forewarned is forearmed and all that. But please don't punish the child.

Go with him at parties and do not leave his sight? You won’t be the only one surely…

But then again, I would be a mean one and just distance myself…I am sorry, we are busy this week end 😔 I would feel bad for 5min and then forget about it. Is it bad? Yes. Does the mum of the kid knows what she is doing? Yes. So tough 😳

So this man's offence was news locally, but he's still living there and everyone else in the village has just accepted this. That in itself is odd but sadly not unique. I would be very concerned that this man is still finding ways to be in the company of small children, which suggests he
sees nothing wrong with his conviction or he is determined to flout any licence conditions.

I would probably speak to the police, or even possibly to probation if yhe offence was fairly recent. The police will want to know that a convicted sex offender is still sniffing around children. This is how people like him get caught multiple times in possession of IIOC.

Why not just say you don't want a convicted sez offender in your house or anywhere near your child? It's not exactly a controversial position to take.

This is what I would have to do - it surely can't be a surprise to her that people would feel like this??

Then the kid doesn't get punished for her dad's actions but you can make it perfectly clear that you want nothing to do with him

I’d be looking to move. Eventually when memories start to fade, him and his wife will successfully minimize and he’ll be integrated back into the community. He’ll ruin children’s lives.

I’m actually amazed the peado hasn’t moved.

I can see your pov and voted accordingly.
I wouldn't allow contact simply because you're the parent if an adult is allowed in your house then natural barriers are weakened....eg a few parties later and a few years it may send red flags if a stranger talks but not so much Mr Peabody who's little Jonny's dad. So I get it and would err on the side of caution. You might put your mind at rest by asking the police for disclosure (not sure about it but someone else may know if it's a possible).

The Child Sex Offender Disclosure Scheme (CSODS) is often known as “Sarah’s Law” after Sarah Payne, the victim of a high-profile murder in 2000. The principle aim of this scheme is to provide parents, guardians, and carers with information that will enable them to better safeguard their children’s safety and welfare. It introduced the principle of a two-way disclosure by enabling the public to ask about the history of a person who has access to their child. The scheme was rolled out nationally in 2011 after working with Sarah’s parents to enable limited public access to information about registered sex offenders, often referred to as the “sex offenders’ register”.

If the child is invited to your party l would speak to the mother and asked her to bring the child, l am sure they must be ways of asking without saying l don't want the father to be there i.e ladies only

No way would I knowingly allow my child in the same building as a known nonce. I'd tell the mum straight the child can come to my childs party, but that the Dad cannot come anywhere near the party so she must be the one accompanying the child and that if Dad tries accompanying child they'll be turned away. I'd also tell her that if the Dads at her child's birthday party then your child won't be coming. Yes it absolutely sucks for that child and yes I feel sorry for the kid but nobody comes before my child for me.

It was in the local paper of a small town so everyone knows and they will be aware of that. Do not sugar coat it, you clearly do not want a paedo in your home, you don't want to have to offer him a cup of tea and let him be near your child/all the other children because it's a sickening thought right???? So say it like it is, when we have a party and your child is invited please bring the child yourself? Do not send your sex offender husband? Also if she is still with a predator she is just as bad as him. Either way this will affect their child, maybe the predator should have thought of this in the first place! Its not your job to tolerate what you don't want to on behalf of these people. Offering a party invitation for the mum is kind, it's a horrible situation but protect your own first and foremost.

It will likely be one of the conditions of his licence

Yes she can dictate who can bring the child to her house.

No she doesn't.

I don't believe these people can be rehabilitated.

If the child comes to the party what's to stop him coming in, hanging around, taking photos and videos?

This poor kid

I think some of the posters here need their hard drives checking.

Give him a chance? He won’t be alone with your child? You can’t exclude a child because his dad is a monster?

The only chance he’d have is to run faster than my car. People who commit CSA do not deserve second chances, they wouldn’t be near my children and the mother is as bad as he is if she’s willing and encouraging him to still integrate in society. Definitely smacks as a “oh it was a misunderstanding, it was already on the laptop when we bought it/he didn’t realise it was children/it was a computer virus.” Situation, you couldn’t pay me to spend one more day with a man life that and he’d have to fight like hell for contact with my children.

peadophiles can’t be rehabilitated, CSA is never a victimless crime even if he never touched a child, someone one did, and it would only be a matter of time before he progressed.

he deserves to be locked in a room on his own for the rest of time. Not going to kids parties.

The poor kid is going to need to get used to it because eventually all his school friends will know and he’ll forever be ‘the nonces kid’.

It’s absolutely not right and I feel for him (not enough to risk my child though) but she could have helped by removing the pervert and people would have forgot.

do better mums, stop feeling sorry for perverted men, treat them like the scum they are.