Child's friend parent on sexual offender register

Is he actually allowed at the school and to be around children that aren’t his? My child’s friends father was put onto the register last year and the conditions of this are that he isn’t allowed onto school grounds (can park in the car near the school), he isn’t allowed at any of his kids sports venues and he isn’t allowed any contact with females under the age of 16 without their parents consent. His two kids still see him but everyone else acts like he is dead, no one talks about him or mentions him. The one thing that hasn’t happened though is that people haven’t punished his children for his crimes.

Because Mummy decided to keep this man around and try and reintegrate him into the community.

Sorry, but for me that man is a risk. I wouldn’t punish the child but it’s the child’s parents who are doing this to their child. The child’s mother needs to sort out her priorities.

But by the age of 6/7/8 posters on MN are complaining about parents hanging around at the party taking up space.

So what happens then at this kid's party? Should we hope by 7 that they can all handle the.selves with a sexual predator?

And I’d say that your child will only come to a party at the other child’s house is the paedophile is not st
the house

id also very much judge the mother for still being with her paedophile husband

Agree with this absolutely. And please don’t judge the mum. She may well be with him so the daughter isn’t in his custody alone at any time :(

It would be a horrible conversation, and I don't know how I'd word it , but making it clear that only the mum is welcome or the kid can't come. Which is awful, but there's no easy answer to this one given parents stay at this age.

I’d tell the child’s mother that the child
is very welcome but that the father shouldn’t come anywhere fucking near your child or your house

id also ask the school to disclose to the extent to can its policy and approach where a parent at the school is a registered sex offender

Well then perhaps mummy should rethink her choices to have a close relationship with him and trying to reintegrate him into the community.
No thank you.
My priority would be that he is never around my children.

If her own mother won't prioritise her child, why should OP be given that responsibility.
I wouldn't want to be near the mother either.
Surprised how cavalier some would be on this subject. Explains a lot.

I’m sure he’s not the only man who’s been present and interacting with your child who is that way inclined. Others just haven’t been convicted or you just don’t know about it.

unless you ban all men from ever taking to your child, they will be spoken to by paedos. You just have to supervise and not leave your child alone with them.

I can’t honestly imagine a time where he would be able to chat to your child at a party. Firstly at parties the kids are all off playing. Secondly you will be there and thirdly I don’t think I’ve ever seen any parents chat to children who aren’t there own at parties, surely you would be able to interject if you did see him trying to engage in conversation and tell him not to talk to your child. Or redirect your child to speak to you and send them off to join in. He’s not going to be able to start grooming your child at a 2 hour party while you are there watching his every move is he really? Whilst I wouldn’t want him near my kid you’re being hysterical because he won’t be able to be near your kid

You cannot be confident that OPs child will never be alone with him. The only way to be confident of that is for OP to ensure her child has no contact with him whatsoever - which is what OP is proposing.

Parties, days at the park, friends houses, days out, whatever. 'oh, that's Freddy's dad calling me over, I wonder what he wants' that's all it bloody takes. He's not a stranger. He's their friends Dad. You can't expect a child to treat one parent differently to all the others, it's not possible.

I speak from experience here, as someone who was groomed, and also I have a child with a parent who was convicted of having images of children in DC's class.

I'm surprised by how many posters are so easy going about allowing their children to become acquaintances with sex offenders.

My child would never go to a party where he was at. And I'd tell the mother that he's not allowed in my home. I'd also ring the police and confirm he's even allowed to attend these kind of functions.

It's awful for the child but it's his mother's fault for trying to smooth over his father's sex offences to the rest of the community.

Children rarely wander off with strangers, but someone they kind of know? Dave's Dad I met before, he's safe. He's Dave's Dad.

Wow this is such a hard one. You don’t want a four year old excluded from parties but at the same time it’s not a nice thought knowing this person has the opportunity to even look at your child. I don’t know what to do op. Perhaps evaluate each party invite going forward and decide then. I.e party at their house might be a no but party at yours is a yes and just say preferably to the parents if only one parent could attend due to space in the house and hope it’s the mum that brings the child

Agreed. Just stay close to your kid like you’re meant to at parties because you don’t know what anyone is like. Or just don’t accept party invites and don’t invite them to your kids party. It’ll be reciprocal so your kid won’t be invited to theirs either. Job done.

Correct.

you need to support opportunities to allow man to be reintegrated

Fuck that, with bells on.

It's not any child's job to be a rehabilitation aid for a fucking paedophile.

Why does she need to put her feelings aside so a paedophile and his sympathisers can feel comfortable??

YANBU - I had a situation where a woman bought her partner and child to my home and only afterwards told me that he was banned from being alone with children including his own. I told her to invite him into my house where my children were present and only give me this information afterwards was a complete breach of my trust and neither of them were allowed back to my home.
I wouldn't allow my child to their house and I wouldn't allow the father anywhere near my property.

I'm sorry but that's an overreaction.

He did an awful thing, but your child is not at risk from him because he won't be alone with him.