Child's friend parent on sexual offender register

Just don’t leave him alone with the knives. It’s your moral responsibility to include him, he’s done his time. Maybe it wasn’t him who stabbed those kids - maybe he was set up.

If it’s known locally what he’s done. I can’t see him having the balls to show his face. Are you sure they are still in a relationship? I don’t think he will be able to live in the same house or have unsupervised access to children.

Why be polite
I would let her know the reason you/I don’t want her partner anywhere near your house and child . spell it out clearly so there is no mistake .

it’s not like this is going to be the first time probably and if it is then tough shit - she is staying with him so she has to accept that she and her child sadly will be frozen out of certain social events

In the case of the people we know, the man was sexting with a 14 year old girl…he now has a 14 year old daughter.

cant get my head around it at all. He should have removed himself from the family home and not weakly left it to his wife.

Do the other parents know? How do they feel about it? As a rule of thumb I'd say if he is allowed to drop off/pick his child up from school he can't be that much of a risk.....however it's a big fat no from me! I'd rather be the devil and know my child was away from harm than to look sympathetic to a person like that....if only he would have thought about how his actions might impact his sons friendships. He's put his kid in this position not you.....do what you feel is right as the only person your child will look to for answers in the future is you

Absolutely amazed at this thread.

OP: ”One of my kid’s friends dads has a criminal record for stabbing random kids with a kitchen knife, WIBU to avoid having him at our barbecue and asking the friend’s mum to come instead?”
Loads of posters: “YABU anyone could go on a rampage at any time.”

I'm surprised he's still allowed to stay in the family home. The only one I know of personally though, SA his own child and the mother only divorced him as social services threathened to take the kids off her if she kept in contact with him.

Also, if he talks to your children at school gate… a quiet, but very simple… “do not talk to my children ever again, leave my family alone” should work. He will know why

One of my husband's friends was convicted of a very similar thing. We completely cut him off and will never speak to him again, let alone have him in the house with our daughters. I can't believe people are saying they'd be happy having him there, in my opinion paedophiles should be vilified and ostracised.

I’d actually be really honest to her… “thanks for your invite, I’ll be coming”
”thanks for agreeing to come to my LOs party, can I be sure it’s you or a grandparent bringing your LO please? Your husband isn’t welcome. I don’t want this to be awkward, but I absolutely won’t turn a blind eye to his conviction. I’m sure you understand.

I cannot comprehend why any woman would retain a relationship with a convicted pedophile and/or try to help him 'reintegrate' in society.

Nor why anyone would think he should be attending a children's birthday party.

Men like this will remain a threat to children for the rest of their miserable life. You cannot rehabilitate them.

Some of the replies on this thread are truly batshit.

OP you are perfectly right not to want anything to do with that man, or with the woman who is enabling him, and to choose to protect your child above anything else.

I'm very confused about how the child is still allowed to be with the parents if all of this is public knowledge? Is some of it gossip?

You are deluded if you think that sex offenders are adequately and appropriately monitored

This is brilliant and I'm saving it for talking to my own 4 year old

My job is to keep my children safe, not to appease discomfort of men on the sex register, nor the women who choose to be in romantic relationships with them. I certainly wouldn’t get the pitchforks out, but I would 100% ensure that my children were in no proximity.

You could just write a note on his invitation that you’d appreciate if it was the Mum bringing the child to the party and you hope she understands where you’re coming from.

Exactly
you know this guy grooms kids so you keep him away - fuck the sensitivity of him or his partner

You are not there to integrate him and neither are you kids and yes you should tell her that while she and her child is welcome he isn’t - let them know you aren’t ok with having a child abuser in your house or around your kids

it’s like if you know a dog bites kids and don’t like kids
you wouldn’t say oh it ok I’m going leave my toddler there to help the dog not bite in the future - I’m going to train him not to bite by leaving my toddler with the dog

dogs gonna bite
paedos are gonna groom

it’s on here all the time my MIL has a dog that is vicious and bites - what should I do
and everyone one always says ….

don’t visit if the dog is there
keep your kid away from the dog

and anyone who is happy to have this guy who is a known to groom kids around their kids is an idiot

Go with your gut feeling . As a mum you need to put your kid first . Yes it’s awful for the other child but they aren’t your responsibility. It’s up to his mum / dad to manage the situation that the dad has put them all in as a family .
if you feel uneasy I would listen to that feeling and act accordingly . We all wish we knew if there were predators near our kids . In the instance you do know so use that information and protect your child . Leave the parents of the other child to protect him and manage disappointment . May sound harsh but put your own first x

I don't think you're in the wrong, to think as you do. The bottom line though is that this man is on the sex offenders' register so people who know far more about his offences and mental state than you, will have made informed decisions about what he is and is not allowed to do or where he is or is not allowed to go. You can decide not to let him come to your private house or a place you have privately rented for a party etc. Beyond that you can obviously avoid taking your child to any parties etc he might be at, but you can't control whether he brings his child to another child's party or whatever, your views just aren't relevant.

Some of you are unbelievable. The father should be hiding his sorry arse not standing watching children play.

Imagine: hi Johnny, I’m x’s dad. I saw you at y’s party… A dream for someone who has a ready made in for grooming. Surely If he’s on the SOR he should not be socialising with kids?!

Are you serious?? You have to be a troll because no parent would ever think we should be supporting a paedophilie to be integrated but mingling them with their child. Do you often happily socialise with paedos and have them around your child? All your going is giving him opportunity to hide among the sheep

YANBU. I would keep my distance. If the mum is keen to have him in her life, she has to accept the consequences of this decision. That demonstrates her poor judgement as a mother. My reason for keeping my distance is this. When children are young, you can be there and keep them safe. However, the message that this gives to your child and all of the other children around him, is that this man is okay. At what point do you tell them that he isn't? When your child is 11 or 12 and has no idea that friends dad, who everybody seems to like and accept, is offering them a lift or does some other seemingly innocent action. He has shown what he is, why take chances with your child's safety, either now or 5-10 years down the line. Registers were created for a reason, ignoring his presence on one doesn't make sense to me. I realise I'm in a minority here, having read a lot of the responses, but I would stay clear.

I think the best way forward here is to have a short conversation with the child's mother, uncomfortable as it sounds. "I wanted to talk to you real quick. Is this a good time? Okay, then, here's the deal. We don't want to exclude your child from my child's birthday party but the other parents and I don't want your child's father to be present, even to drop off and pick up. Is that okay with you?"

If she says anything but "Yes, that's fine," tell her, "Okay then, that's not negotiable. So, unfortunately, we won't be inviting your child. I just wanted to be sure to give you a chance. Have a nice day."

Just because he got caught doesn't mean he won't still have attraction to children, he will. It's a sexual urge and won't be cured through therapy, etc whatever people say.

We had this situation - he was a teacher - and his wife stayed with him. They live in our street.

We just explained it as ‘her dad isn’t a safe person so you can’t go to their house’ and then of course…now they’re teenagers everyone knows the full story.