Child's friend parent on sexual offender register

Don't be that person that prevents a little boy from having friends because if something his father did.

hands up in that person
and I’m utterly at peace with that

PLEASE don’t allow this ‘man’ anywhere near your children! His, his wife and his children’s feelings are not your responsibility, your children’s safety is!

If he is on the Sex Offenders Register he will most likely have restrictions on contact with children, please check with your local police, and the school as pps have said. This is really important, please don’t assume someone else will do it.

I am gobsmacked the amount of people on here who would willingly and KNOWINGLY let their child be in the presence of a CONVICTED child sex offender. I do not care on the situation or location, it happens. Regardless of other adults being present, and whether he would have actual contact with my children, I don’t care, just the thought of him being around and thinking about all of those children is sickening, and anyone who is not angered by a child sex offender at a children’s party needs to give their head a wobble.

Before anyone says, I went through years of abuse as a child, and this involved grooming, so yes I know from experience how under the radar they fly.

Even without the children, I wouldn’t want to be near that ‘man’.. and to be honest, he wouldn’t want to be in a room with me either so..

OP, the best way I can suggest to explain the situation to your children is to tell them it’s your job to keep them safe, and unfortunately that ‘man’ is not a safe person for them to be around. If the mum has a problem with it then she also needs to rethink her decisions.

It’s a terrible situation but it’s got to be done, you would never forgive yourself, believe me. Best of luck lovely.

Grim. Someone should be checking their electronics.

Haha yep! Kindness and inclusion are the most important things!

Report her to the police

If my child wanted to go to the party I would let them but stay very close all the way through.

If the man is there, I would keep a close eye on him all through too.

If he was there, I’d be contacting the police and SS, surely eh shouldn’t be back this close to Children?

Some on here need to give their head a bloody wobble. My child would not be going to a party where a known sex offender was present and neither would he be welcome on my doorstep or in my house.

Those of you who think that people who are on the sex offenders register are monitored - you couldn’t be more wrong. My brother was on the sex offenders register for abusing his own 4 year old daughter. He just went about his daily life with no monitoring or restrictions. He stayed at my parents whilst my Nephew was there over-night, got a new girlfriend who had children and travelled freely to places like Cambodia, Vietnam and Thailand.

None of the family knew he was on the sex offenders register, even after he told us (years later) what he did to his own daughter. To this day, they don’t know he was on the register.

If you know someone is on the register and is a risk to children, you do everything in your power to ensure they never have access to your own children - no matter who’s feelings you hurt.

I would be happy to be that person.
If the family of the little boy can't assure me that my DS would be safe then I would be steering well clear.
From the looks of this thread though, quite a few would be fine with it, so the little boy will have plenty of friends.

I would like paedophiles to die of the shame, @OoooopsUpsideYourHead.

Is even allowed to be around children? Did the online grooming lead to anything did the meet? I thought it was a condition they weren't allowed contact with children after conviction.
Personally I would be speaking to the mother first and if she defends him, then I would be excluding them from everything. Online images is bad enough, but this guy attempted (and maybe succeeded) a child sex assault.

There was a poster on a thread yesterday vehemently arguing that paedophiles should never feel any shame!

^This
The mother is making the choice- she knows the score. Get rid of him when children are there, daddy doesn’t take the child to parties.
Of course the child should be invited and children allowed to go to the child’s party. But not when he’s there- if he had anything about him he wouldn’t want to be!!

Do you have children @NC28 ?

As other people much wiser than me have said, @Hastentoadd - letting this dad come to parties, even if he is closely supervised the whole time, will give the children the impression he is an adult they can trust - that is such a dangerous thing to teach the children.

As a previous poster has said - if they see this man at parties, and they learn to trust him, what happens if they are walking home from school aged 10, and he offers them a list or says he will take them to to park or for an ice cream? They will not see a paedophile, they will see their friend’s dad, who has played footie with them at parties, and they will go with him.

Is it worth the risk, when there is a simple solution - not allowing this dad to come to any of the children’s parties?

He is absolutely disgusting, I would never allow my child to be around him. The mother is also foul, she should be keeping that paedophile away from children, and not trying to reintegrate him.

Surely not.

There is absolutely no way on planet earth I’d want a registered sex offender anywhere near my kid. Or anywhere near me, frankly.

If the mother of the other child wants to allow him back into their lives then that’s on her, but supervised or unsupervised - no chance. She should be bringing her child to the party, or I’m afraid he can’t come.

But would you rather take your children to a party with ten men who are registered sex offenders, or a party where there are ten men but noone is a registered sex offendor?
Just becuase it is one man, doesn't make any difference in my eyes.

You can’t eliminate all risk to your child, of course, but you don’t need to literally invite it into your home. Wild

This

There is no way I’d allow anyone on the sex offenders list anywhere near my child, however vanishingly small the risk is perceived to be. And I’d be telling the other mum that too. She’s made the decision to allow him a place in her and her child’s life, you’re entitled to make the same decision for you and your child.

Nothing worse than NOT BEING KIND

I really hope MN isn’t representative of the wider population. Some of the replies on here are genuinely bizarre. You can’t eliminate all risk to your child, of course, but you don’t need to literally invite it into your home. Wild.

we have similar situation with an adult who is a pervert
the husband and wife received a wedding invitation but he was spoken to privately and told to make an excuse not to come

can you do something like that ? Invite the child to parties and send your child to their parties but have quiet word with the paedophille and tell him he is not to come to your house nor should he talk or interact with your son in any way

In other circumstances I'd absolutely agree with the posters feeling really sorry for this kid BUT it is this poor kid's mother causing the issue by stil having their scumbag father around! He has been convicted of both child porn and child grooming offences! Why would the OP or any other parent want this vile man anywhere near their vulnerable little kids?

The risk from him in a public place is probably not that high but I fully understand why the OP finds any level of potential risk unacceptable.
Imo the child's mother needs to give her head a serious wobble. I'm surprised social services don't consider this a safeguarding issue.

Why is everyone being so blasé about it?? I wouldn’t want my child anywhere near a convicted sex offender either. It doesnt matter if he won’t be alone with them. He views children in a sexual way! No chance.

Reading this thread makes me finally realise why paedophilia is so prevalent.... The number of "pick me" apologists desperate to show how laid back and pragmatic they are over this is frankly shocking.

Yes, it's absolutely okay - and right - to ostracise this man.