Child's friend parent on sexual offender register

You’ve done something of a 180! Which is good because half hour ago you were saying you’d go to the party as you wouldn’t want the child to suffer and that the really dangerous people are the people that disguise themselves as good people

It Is a difficult one. But, Understandably this man has & Is suitably monitored, And there's No Likelihood that he Abuse your Or Anyone's Child. For the sake of Any children, principly, put aside your natural aversions and just be Normally vigilant.

If you know it's not the child's fault why are you punishing them? Just be there when bdays happen. Four years old for gods sake. If all the class patents behave like this he or she will be scarred for life.

This place is wild. Utterly insane.

THIS. Also history has taught us time and time again that we can't trust local social care provision and the police to get it right. Risk ratings incorrectly entered, departments not speaking to each other, family playing down the risk and impact at home.. lead to things being missed, assessments being wrong. I would not rely on any assessment to allow a KNOWN pedophile near my child.

If he’s on the sex offenders register he will have conditions he HAS to abide by. If he doesn’t, he’s in breach of the order and will go to prison. Do a little bit of research and get clued up, make yourself feel a little easier about what’s right and wrong and then make yourself mind up from there.

I’m just imaging hosting a party with our friends and family and someone like this man tried to walk to - even with his child. There is absolutely no way the parents would allow him over the door knowing what he has done. I can’t imagine standing there going oh look here’s the local sex offender and my child’s dad not losing his shit… and he’s not even a violent person! Surely if he came everyone else would either cause uproar or leave?

Yep. I'd get the rage if he so much as even looked at my child and I wouldn't be able to stay quiet.

Like I said before too, I also really wouldn't want my child with someone who thinks it acceptable to enable a child sex offender. I wouldn't trust her judgement at all.

Even then, I wouldn’t want him knowing where I live

I can’t find who said it, but someone said he’s likely to have been cleared as safe to be around his own child, I don’t see how anyone could come to that conclusion? How could anyone who does that sort of thing be trusted with any child even their own?

In the end it’s not your job to be fair to another child by allowing your kids to potentially be in an unsavoury situation. I would be just about ok with him dropping their kid at the door but no way in hell would that man step foot in my home in a million years.

And not just that...I wouldn't even want him looking at my child, never mind interacting with them. And kudos to you @springisspringing1 for thinking of his child, and the child's mother. No, his actions aren't her fault. But, she is facilitating him having further interaction with other children. That is her fault. It would be an absolute no from me! Don't invite them - you don't have to explain yourself. They know the reason. And if his poor child is affected by it then the child's mother needs to take a long, hard look at herself and her enabling behaviour.

Jesus Christ.

”Ultimately your child will come into contact with many pedophiles throughout their childhood, so don’t worry about any risks associated with exposing them to this one. That’s completely fine, and you know, being kind to this kid is way more important than the safety of your own”.

The unfortunate impact on this child is a consequence of the choices their parents have made. It isn’t OP’s responsibility to compensate for that by risking the safety of her own children.

He shouldn’t be there surely? I absolutely wouldn’t allow him anywhere near my child

How on earth do you know he’s zero risk? Looking at images of abuse is not something to be taken lightly, he has a perversion and children around him are at risk. He may have never acted on his urges but do you want to send your kid to his house to find out if he will?

@ByDenimPombear totally agree with you. I am astounded by a lot of these comments.

Not read the whole thread but no bloody way would he step a foot inside any party I hosted.

I’d be tempted to ask the other parents to have a united front on this.

He is a paedophile who watches images of children being abused. He should not be at children’s parties.

So far, @springisspringing1this is the most sensible person on here.
Call the police.
Explain who the offender is.
Ask if he’s even allowed to be around children.
That might solve a great many of your issues.

I think you maybe need to figure out the facts first OP. If this guy has actually been convicted of having IIOC and is on the sex offenders register then he will likely have very clear conditions that he must abide by.

Off the top of my head I would imagine he will be prohibited from being at any location with children under a certain age present.

If he still has contact with his own child, that is likely to also be heavily conditional.

If I were you, I would definitely still invite their child to my child’s party, but make it clear to mum that you don’t feel comfortable with dad being there and ask her to bring child. I would also go to their party, that poor child is going to have a hell of a time growing up.

I have a child the same age as yours and although age appropriate discussions should be considered, it’s easy to teach kids that age about “tricky people” as a concept rather than “stranger danger” and that nobody should be talking to them alone, nobody should tell them to keep secrets etc. helps them realise that even people they know aren’t always safe.

Ultimately, your child will come into contact with many paedophiles throughout their childhood, just most of them you’ll have no idea about…I’d argue that’s probably the ones you need to worry about more.

Fair dues… it’s incredibly rare to see a poster on here say ‘Nope, I’ve totally changed my opinion, I was wrong’ 😅 And I get the empathy for this child, my heart breaks for any poor child in this situation, but my child comes first above all else.

To be clear - his offense was in the last few years? (As in, not a situation involving him as an older teenager and a younger, underage teenager?)

I won’t go into detail about what I think should happen to monsters like this but I can tell you spending time with them at a kids party is absolutely bottom of that list. I’d have no problem telling the mum that of course the innocent child is more than welcome but the father is to stay well away

Indeed, as another poster has said this may well be a term of probation/license etc. although how you check that I'm afraid I don't know.
Find out if he will be there, then inform school safeguarding, Public Protection Unit of the police and the local probation service. The latter 2 can check the terms of his license, school will be interested to consider for safety at future events.

Have you ever hosted a child’s birthday party, Gymmum82? I’d love to know your secret, if you’re somehow able to do it without spending the entire time flying around doing fifteen different things at once…

Nope and I changed my opinion when I read more comments, it is true that they could be lurking anywhere but your both right, this one has a flashing beacon on his head, steer clear, my judgement was clouded slightly by empathy for the child in question but you are right, it’s not worth it.