Is my friend outrageously entitled in her expectations?

She'd need to get a medical professional to state very clearly why she needed a 2 bed (and as someone else has said why a living room wouldn't suffice as a space for meditation, etc). Even if a HA or council accepted that she needed a 2 bed (unlikely), they still wouldn't offer her an adapted bungalow over someone who would be able to make use of those adaptations.

I know a woman like this, single, in her 50s, has spent the majority of her life travelling, working cash in hand seasonal jobs, sofa surfing, living in a van etc but now she’s older, she wants a secure home she can grow old in, with chickens and some land to cultivate. She’s no way of paying for this herself but is busy trying to manifest it.

You don't sound like much of a friend. You say she's helped you in the past but now you realise she's self-serving. I think she's had a life of adventure and now she's stuck in a depressing flat. So she's doing what she can to have a happier life because she feels she deserves it.

I think you should start being a better friend and stop getting the people of Mumsnet to validate your opinion. You know full well what people are like on here and what they think of people who choose a less conventional life. You're entitled to your opinion but don't cherry-pick your validation of that opinion.

Well, Devon Home Choice are like bulldogs when it comes to their properties, ain't no chance she would ever get anything but the bare minimum out of them.

Bungalows are massively popular (I work for a HA) and usually have waiting lists going into decades.

Some over 55 schemes are hard to let though, usually as they're not so modern but sounds like she is looking for something a bit better.

Re her needing an extra room due to depression, I can promise you that's a non starter. If she needs a live in carer, then she might qualify but medical proof would be required. But in my experience, every resident I speak to in our HA has depression and anxiety so it really doesn't get you a leg up.

I would say sure but I'm not lying and if she still wants you to provide a statement or whatever you will but truthfully.

It's not untrue that she is connected to the community and you are part of that, but she is not disabled and certainly not to the extent of needing a bungalow. It is true that living next to drinking and excessive noise is not good for MH which she has had diagnosis and treatment for

Sense of entitlement is staggering 😡

Why can’t she do Yoga / meditate in the bloody living room

Is she expecting you to lie on a statement / form

I would say I will help her but I won’t lie

She does not need a 2 bed place, she has been given plenty of help ( benefits) over the years and she should stop taking the piss

The reason why she has gotten this far without having a perm job is because she is a user, she is probably friends with loads of people and asks various people for little favours and rotates between them.

No harm in 'helping' your friend - whatever that actually means - so long as you don't put yourself at risk of committing fraud, lying, bending truth or saying or doing anything illegal or untruthful, or get pressured to say or do anything you don't feel comfortable doing.

I hope your friend gets what she wants, but it might also be a useful exercise for her to understand that what she has now is actually pretty good and she might not be able to do better.

Sounds like she's away with the fairies a bit, unrealistic expectations, perhaps quite naive.

Wouldn’t we all like a house in a nice area with a nice garden (and someone else to pay for it!).

Don’t do anything you feel uncomfortable with. It sounds she’s used to people helping her without question, but doesn’t mean you have to be complicit.

Yes it's all untrue and she's not eyeing up properties for the disabled then it's fine but if not, she must be very deluded to think she will get one with a few little embellishments - my son is severely disabled and it's no easy task I can tell her !

A friend of my sister's is like this....... sofa surfs, rejects jobs on the grounds that they go against her morals / ethics etc, yet claiming UC isn't against her principles!

Then, all of a sudden, despite having paid nothing to those she loafs off, she will find the money for a return flight to some zen workshop in the US or some organic retreat overseas.

Takers !!!!!

She still owes me travel costs to a concert I took her to 7 years ago !

Give a WIDE berth!

There's no evidence of that, just OP's accusations, which she's shown no evidence of.

There's no suggestion here that she's lied to get benefits. Just that she's done a lot of voluntary work and odd jobs and what sounds like mutual support.

I wouldn't help her. Anyway, without proof they won't do anything.

How would it be better if more people took over flats for the disabled by deception and lies ?

I dint think she has been to you. She's been a friend, you've helped her out when she needed it and she helped you.

You think the world would be better if more people lied to get benefits?

okay, enough internet for me today.

I don't think it's common, but I think the world would be a far better place if it was.

I think what's confused me about this thread is that people seem to think it's pretty normal to behave the way this woman does.

She sounds like someone who has contributed a lot, while taking little. Our society is kept going by the unpaid work of volunteers and carers.

@MariadeiMiracoli "My guess is that she'll be claiming that she needs an extra room for her MH"

does this work? Sometimes I wonder if I should have declared my well documented MH issues

I honestly don't think this kind of help is available. Imagine all of us with A&D declaring we must have 2 bed flats!