Is my friend outrageously entitled in her expectations?

@MariadeiMiracoli don't lie for her. Tell her to get someone at CAB or somewhere to help her fill in the forms. She is unlikely to get a disabled housing place for MH needs alone . Supported housing, maybe, but that's often short term if it's for MH. Don't lie for her and make out she is physically more disabled than she is, they'll see through her right away.

OP didn't actually mention she was a benefit fraud though . If she isn't working full time or above a certain wage she probably may be entitled to UC.

I’d be reporting her as a benefits cheat.

I think we’d all like one of those properties - why should a lazy entitled freeloader be given it? She lucky to have flat she’s got

I'm sorry @MistressoftheDarkSide that doesn't surprise me, but it saddens me on your behalf.

OP, do tell her about https://www.homeswapper.co.uk/, https://www.houseexchange.org.uk/ & various Facebook groups that allow people to swop social housing. She stands a better option here than cheating the system.

They probably went back to "normal" life, found a woman with a home and a decent job and moved in with her.

In some areas +55 properties are easier to get allocated because most people by this age have their own homes. The only qualification usually is a qualifying residency period of 4 years. Not all +55 homes are for people living with disabilities.

Not to condone her behaviour at all but I kind of wonder if it’s this - bcos it’s so absurd she could even think she’d be eligible for that kind of housing that it almost makes me think there’s something seriously missing here with her - yes shes anti establishment & resists any responsibilities & has literally no idea what she’s talking about. Doesn’t know how the system works now & has not been here or part of any system being always on the fringes. Like she sees that she’s been given housing in a flat already for free & literally thinks if she asks for a bungalow she might just get one. Like dangerously naive & the universe will provide type nonsense. Either way it’s a total disregard for those that really needs them & incredibly selfish. It’s so preposterous is what I’m saying. Prob a v clever, manipulative CF but it could be a possibility.

Don't get involved

pleade don’t do this….

Yes, or she might have been out of the country and not known how much things have changed due to so much council housing being sold off.

There's a HA/council swap site online called homeswapper that she can put her flat on and get a swap. Don't lie for her or help her get the place she wants. Not your problem so don't get involved. She sounds like she's manipulative and sly enough to do it all on her own anyway.

When you apply for social housing outside your locality, you need to have some connection there, like relatives or friends living there or work there.

If she's never really lived in a conventional way or participated in the "system", then it may be that, like a teenager who has never paid a bill, she genuinely just doesn't get that there are people waiting in much greater need and this isn't a case of unlimited accommodation for whoever can get in first. She might not realise how many truly vulnerable people there are and how few homes.

If everyone who had a depressive episode during lockdown thereby acquired the right to a spare room and a garden, the map of the UK would look radically different by now. I don't think any housing association will feel obliged to accommodate your friend on the basis that her mental health might deteriorate in the future, and there is nothing you can do to influence that decision even if you wanted to. If she were my friend I think I might buy her a window box or one of those roll-up yoga mats that can be stowed behind the sofa, and tell her that was the most I could do to assist her.

Has she any idea what kind of disabilities the people in her ideal properties have ?
Could be wrong of course, but it seems unlikely to me that OP is being asked to help remove a leg.

@MistressoftheDarkSide i’m really sorry to hear about your dad. Strength to you for the fight ahead.

What stage is her idea at ? Has she any idea what kind of disabilities the people in her ideal properties have ? Has she asked the Housing Associations how people are typically placed there ? Or is it still a fairy tale idea of getting a lovely house with a garden just by asking for it forcefully ?

Wow. I’d love a south facing peaceful garden and a spare room, no noisy neighbours, and a driveway, but I had to mortgage my ex council house and now can’t afford to move unless I don’t actually live at all apart from paying a mortgage….yes she’s entitled.

I’m not sure how she’s thinking you’ll assist her in her application? Surely only notes from GP/SS etc would count?

Don’t get involved if it means lying about her “disability”.

I have a very good friend who’s husband is genuinely disabled (cerebral palsy, been in a wheelchair all his life) and they really struggled to get a bungalow that was accessible and suitable for his needs. They’re not even allowed a disabled parking spot outside their house so it’s easier for him to get in and out of his car and in and out of the house. Then there’s people like this that (if that’s what she’s doing) seem to feel entitled and willing to lie to get when they want.

This 💯. I’ve known people like this my whole life, full of social justice lectures when they are absolutely screwing the system . Often from “good “ backgrounds and funded by the parents and family they “rebelled” against until they die and they can’t milk them anymore. It’s often way more calculated than people think but they get away with it by being seen as “characters” or “free-spirts” hence why they’d never live in a country with no social supports . See English people in Ireland who moved here in the 1980’s, many of them still here (all from well to do backgrounds), many of whom squatted on land that wasn’t theirs and got away with it🤷‍♀️ Such hypocrisy

I'd like my waist back, but sometimes we just have to accept we are where we are. You are a kind and thoughtful friend, but she is entitled and unrealistic and you would do well to step away from her fantasy of what she should have.

There are likely to be some as there are lots of different schemes; an AI search on a few criteria suggested about 20 e.g.
https://www.thresholdcentre.org.uk/about?hl=en-GB.
She would need to research if she likes the idea. Some will undoubtedly be noisy extrovert communities full of families, others will be quiet. Some require home purchase and others have rental, work, or other funding models.

Yes! I have no personal experience of it and it doesn't appeal to me. But my friends sister used to do this in Bristol. She was in her 20's but there were all ages. They sounded like a very welcoming bunch of open-minded and kind people. Grew their own veg, composted stuff, cooked together and for each other.

My friends were from good backgrounds and their parents completely subbed them . This was a lifestyle choice- one they could absolutely drop no problem, it was an extremely cringey anti establishment vibe but they moved into someone’s home rent free and illegally and wouldn’t as the owner must have been rich ….
They (I’m hoping) are absolutely mortified now they are older and how would they feel about this with their house . It in no way compares to people who end up in challenging situations often through lack of support. Often the types of people the op is talking about were living off hand outs from parents and then inheritance and social benefits and leeching off others