Dubai move or divorce

I think the problem here is you feeling like you've lost yourself since having a baby and that is really normal! It's a massive adjustment and you're coping with PPD as well. I wouldn't make any hasty decisions yet - moving to Dubai is not the answer and neither is getting divorced. Being a single parent on one income is HARD and you have no guarantee that he will step up and do his fair share of parenting. If he meets someone else & has another child, if he decides to bugger off to Dubai anyway - there are so many variables.

I would look into childcare and getting back to work. When DH is home, take yourself off to the gym or see a friend or take up a hobby - do things for you! My DH worked away and long hours when our kids were small - I built a network of friends, retrained and started a new job and it helped me feel like myself again. And I found I liked my DH much more because I wasn't feeling hard done by.

It is so normal to feel you are losing your identity with a small baby in your life. I would neither move or divorce but get in extra help including some counselling and look at what you want your life to be like. Don't make huge decisions at this point.

Normally I'd say what a selfish sod but I do think you are being a bit over the top on this occasion.
You married a pilot, what do you want him to do...give up his job? It's a bit much to ask especially if you have a massive mortgage.
If a pilot was flying me across the world I would not be happy if he'd been up all night sharing care for a baby, the lives of everyone on board depend on him so he needs sleep.
Don't go to Dubai, it's bloody awful. You might have more help but no friends, still no husband around and away from everything you know. My sister lived there for 10 years and hated it.
See your GP you may have PND, go back to work when your maternity leave is over. Work saved my life as single mum to a baby. I needed the stimulation and adult company.

Sorry - but surely you knew this before you married him? My brother is a pilot, with three kids. He has help in the way of mum and dad with childcare etc - but his wife, my SIL knew 100% what she was getting into when she married him - of course he will need to sleep before he flies for 14 hours, he needs to be awake for that, because, you know, its pretty dangerous as a pilot to be tired! Of course there are milestones he will miss - hes more than often flying, he tries his best with scheduling but it's hard. I dont think dubai is the way forward - perhaps you can get some help in between? It does sound like you are struggling, but im not sure with what. I think part time work might help you in the first instance? Can baby go into a nursery once or twice a week?

Ok to take a slightly different view, it sounds like you are struggling with the relentlessness of having a small baby, and life revolving around nappies, feeding, sleeping, washing and home chores. Can you put some more structure into your days to give you back some independence and control? Co-parenting with someone who does shift work is no mean feat, but I think there are things you can do before rushing to divorce.

Move to Dubai. Hire a nanny and cleaner and go enjoy your life again! I would jump at this chance and I’m a professional on a Dicent salary in UK, would I give it up for Dubai, absolutely!!

Do not move to Dubai. Some careers are simply not compatible with family life and his is one of them.

So his solution is something he wanted, he went for and you turned down and he is pushing it again.
This is a him issue, not a job issue

Tbh, I felt like this in the early stages of motherhood, and my DH is not a pilot, in fact he runs his own business from home!
I don’t think it’s his job or your ‘baby blues’. It’s adjusting to the mundanity of having a very young child and feeling as though you have lost your ‘self’.
It does pass, but it takes some time. Do NOT make any rash decisions whilst you are going through this temporary insanity - no divorce and no move to the ME!!
Just hang in there, make sure you get out and about with the baby, see friends etc. It will get better. xx

Having lived in Dubai, i think it could be great for a pilot family. All depends on the perks. Emirates for example offer many. There is a huge expat community and with all the help you can buy in, you will actually have more time to make a life for yourself. You can pursue whatever hobby you want to.
you need to find out how it would work with your job.

However, you need to ensure your marriage is solid first.

and people talk about leaving friends and family behind but i found I actually spent more time with my mum when I lived there and each set of friends came to visit and we also visited. In fact our friendshiowere stronger

Why do you feel like he's manipulative?

What's his shift pattern? Does he have big lots of days off? Does he step up then?
Can you do something about big mortgage take a longer term?
Don't make big decisions while baby is so young and you figuring it out

@Klaudea I don’t think moving will be the answer, it’s not going to change much for your relationship - will give you more time on your own but not with DH. See how you feel after mat leave when back at work?

Omg. Your baby is only 6 months... don't make any decisions. Definitely don't go to dubai.

Things are going to get easier. Then make some decisions.

Meanwhile, what could make your life better?

He won’t be doing 50 per cent of childcare if he is divorced from you and a pilot.
you can’t force someone to be a parent .

likelihood is you’ll be left doing the majority of it all and he will just turn up as and when it suits him and his job. And if he moved to Dubai without you - that would be not very often !

How will he manage 50-50 if he’s juggling this current job? Far more likely will be 90% 10% with his job coming first and probably his social life coming in second

I would hate it too, so i can understand how you aree feeling. Don't go to Dubai. Do go back to work.

But honestly, do you think it would be 50/50 if you divorced? It absolutely wouldn't.

I think you need to talk to your DH about him changing his work patterns or what you will do when you go back to work.

Hold on… you’ve got some options in between those. How old is baby?

Get some domestic help in, childcare and get back to work as soon as you feel able. Then start building your life and structure around you and your child - not your husband. Make him slot in around your life, not the other way round.

Obviously don’t go to Dubai - but get your life back on an even keel before burning down your marriage.

Do not move away from what you know.

You'll be moving to a place you don't know, with a very different culture, no friends or family. But still the shit husband. And all kinds of legal raminifactions, if you settle as a family, if you don't like it there and want to move back WITH YOUR CHILD.

Rather, lose the useless selfish fuck of a DH, and hold on to your financial independence.

Is this the real issue here?