To ask how many of you married for money?

That's not how marriage works at all, even if part of the reason you married someone is because they can provide financial stability. Plus, you can want and enjoy voluntarily having sex with your wealthy spouse - and not demand payment for it.

Nowhere near marriage at the time, but quite seriously dated someone who had a hell of a lot of money about 10 years ago. Unfortunately I just wasn’t attracted to him, so broke things off after trying for a while. He was pretty smitten so was upset when it ended and tried to ‘buy’ me back.. that gave me the real ick.

Nope, Dh and I were both broke as all broke when we got married. I was still a student and Dh was earning £18k in his first job. 17 years on, we are financially very comfortable, but it’s because we’ve supported each other to be successful.

That said, I’m pretty sure my mum re-married in part for money. Stepdad earning £250k a year plus £100k+ bonuses. He’s dodgy as hell with a criminal record, none of her friends like him, and between them all their children and grandchildren are NC with them because of him. If you’re gonna marry for money, make sure you’re not marrying an absolute toxic wanker who will screw your life up.

I know a woman whose husband ran off with a colleague. She was 60 so never expected to meet someone. An old boyfriend got in touch, we're talking high school here. He'd been widowed. Would she like to meet up.

It was a great success, they kept meeting, went on holidays, they fell in love again. Turned out he was immensely wealthy with properties in Europe, USA as well as the UK. They married.

Another friend who lost touch with a teenage boyfriend. He contacted her after they were both widowed in their late sixties. They're having a grand romance, no intention of marrying though.

Honestly? Sort of. I married my university boyfriend who is from a very wealthy family. I was totally in love with him at the start but after we had kids it started to fall apart. I knew deep down it wasn’t going to last (he spiralled into addiction) but I married him when he asked me because I was financially dependent on him and in a really vulnerable position. I’m grateful for the amazing experiences he gave me, but it also came with a huge amount of trauma. I regret choosing him for my children’s father, but marrying him was the smartest move I could do at the time.

My current partner isn’t well off, but he’s smart as hell, works his ass off and loves me like I’ve never been loved before. He’s an amazing dad to his kids and if I could do it all over, I’d do it with him. The right relationship will make you so much happier than wealth.

I wouldn't necessarily marry for money. However, I would look for someone in similar financial circumstances to myself.

I am so over scooping men up from the gutter and have learnt the hard way. Twice I have done this and both have backfired. Both turned out to be incredibly selfish and uncaring, abusive men. They were in the gutter for a reason.

So on this basis alone, not just financial, it could be a sensible decision for me.

Personally, I didn’t date poor men, so the chances of falling in love with one were incredibly low.

The whole concept of marrying for money is complex. I think quite a few of us marry for money. We look for a partner with a stable income, educated, prospects etc. And we avoid people who are lifestyle unemployed, no money management skills and all that. So I'd say that is kinda marrying for money.

Money is not the solution for all ills

Love is not the solution either.

You think a marriage is just an exchange of sex and money?

Well better than just sex and no money.

Interesting you should say this. I feel in love with a farmer's boy at uni. Turns out his family are minted, but you would never know day to day. Been together 20 plus years now and married for 14. He's my best friend.

I wouldn't marry for money, but it certainly does provide a level of security and options.

I think "marrying for money" is over simplifying it. What type of feelings are we talking about? He's absolutely repulsive and I hate being in the same room with but because he has money I'm able to disassociate enough to go through with sex? No, I wouldn't. But a nice guy, good looking, stable income maybe not the most passionate relationship. Why not, as long as there is some type of fondness and love that he's not getting screwed over.

is he proper loaded? Even then you are likely to regret it.
is he generous? My husband is loaded ( wasn’t before we married, I’m his lucky charm) but not particularly generous. Luckily I have my own thing going on so it doesn’t really matter but it does irk sometimes.

women have done worse to feed their kids but if you can get by on your own then I’d say don’t do it. For your own sake, and your child’s. Your child will figure it out and then might repeat the cycle.

For some on this thread, yes.

and Melania Trump would agree with that.

Trading sex and companionship for financial support. Obviously.

I married a man from a similar background but my main motivation was his looks 😆

Friends sister always dated wealthy men looking for a husband. She finally found one in the music industry. Everything was wonderfully glamorous for a time. Then it all went wrong as did their marriage. He left her for another woman leaving her destitute. A wealthy man who fails is not a good partner.

You think a marriage is just an exchange of sex and money?

I married a wealthy man, 20 years older than me. Not for money, I do Iove my old DH dearly. He now has serious health issues. Me, being so much younger, he is in his 70s, I’m in my 50s, does allow me to have the energy to look after him very well and the money, as you say, does make our lives easier. And I think does extend his life.

One person gets money, the other gets sex.

What if you fall in love with a poor man?

OP, I don’t think it’s as clear as marrying someone for their money. I was a single mother for 10 years and never received anything from my ex husband - he wanted to see me suffer. I know that I was ready to share the ‘load’ with someone but don’t think I consciously went searching for a man with money. In the event, I have married a wonderful man who would support me no matter what the circumstances. What I would say in my journey to get to this place is that companionship is everything. Our sex life is not amazing but I trade that for the amazing human he is, and how he has embraced my chaotic life. I love him more than anything. Long winded way of saying that I absolutely understand where you are coming from. But there is a great saying ‘don’t love for money but love where money is’.

if you can be amazing companions and travel well together (can’t stress enough how important this is) then I wouldn’t hesitate. I hear you! @Quietsurrender

No - but i know a few who did.

I can think of several friends whose non-negotiables for their second husbands included a deep wallet, and all appear happily settled with men who, as well as being wealthy, are interesting and presentable. It never occurred to me except that I wouldn't have married someone who was in debt or had habits/addictions that might have frittered my own income away, and I wouldn't have married someone who wasn't generous with what he did have.

I didn't although my DH was better off than me. 25 years later that has reversed, his career did not do as well as mine. As we love each other this hasn't mattered, but if I had married him for money I guess I'd be very pissed off